


The Chance to Try

by Galtori



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galtori/pseuds/Galtori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is a slight AU, but grounded in Mass Effect 3. Follows Shepard through the events of ME3 as he deals with one twist to the original plot. Rated M for later language and themes. (I'd rather be safe than sorry) M!Shep/Ashley</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pre-Mars

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is not your typical Ash/M!Shep sappy, fluffy story (though I think there are fluffy moments). It is a slight AU. I was given a hypothetical question, and before I knew it, my mind was weaving a story about it. What I am doing is not something that completely throws the plot of ME3 out the window, but instead puts a small twist. I am hoping that the two story lines entwine themselves and show a different side of Shepard and Ashley while still staying true to ME3. Hope you guys like the twist I put in.   
> When I wanted the dialogue to be close to the cutscenes, I actually went to YouTube to see what exactly was said and done. In that vein, thank you to FluffyNinjaLlama for putting out so many videos with so many varieties. You were my main source of cutscene info. It helped me see all the different conversations between the different characters and form my own version of what they might say. I didn’t want to just copy and paste what everyone said because it wouldn’t feel as genuine and personally would be lazy. Not to mention since it is AU, my nerd brain says that nothing will be exactly the same, variations of the butterfly effect and all that.   
> Feel free to put whatever details you want into Anthony Shepard as you read, but his class is Soldier through all three games. I want him to be a no-nonsense kind of man who does have a heart. Enough of my blathering. I could really do that ‘til the cows come home and just spoil everything. Enjoy and please give me feedback. Thank you to my boyfriend, my best friend LordMep from deviantART, and the spectacular Jules Hawk from FanFiction for all beta-ing (if it isn’t a word, it’s a colloquial term) and dealing with my crazy imagination.

The transmission from Hackett had only just finished. Apparently, he needed to go to the archives. . . .and Liara was involved. Well, if it was a chance to defeat the Reapers, he had to take it. “Joker, set a course for the Mars Archives.”

“Mars?” His confusion was obvious, but at least he knew better than to openly refuse his orders. Shepard was still fuming over Vega. Vega had a right to be upset. Hell, the shock still hadn’t fully set in for him, and he had been warning everyone for years. But whether or not anyone was upset was irrelevant; Earth needed allies to have a chance of winning against the Reapers.

“Shepard,” EDI’s words interrupted his thoughts, and he turned his attention back towards the ceiling unconsciously, “Due to a lack of information on how the Reapers use ladar, we are unsure if they will be able to detect the _Normandy_ when we are in stealth mode. Given the fact that the Collector ships were able to detect the SR-1 while in stealth, the Reapers may have the technology to identify us even in stealth mode. Therefore, we will need to take slightly longer than normal as a precaution. We will arrive at the archives in approximately 4 standard hours.”

“Better safe than sorry.” After all this, Shepard could do with a shower to maybe get some of the dead Reaper troops off. _Could also do with a quick trip to the med-bay before going down to Mars to get some of these scratches cleaned up_ , he thought as he climbed into the elevator and pressed the button to head to the CIC.

 _Well, let’s see if I can do something else first._ He corrected himself, _see who is on this_ \- The thought was broken off as the doors opened to the CIC and a small boy stood on the steps to the galaxy map. “Fire the laser beam, Tray!” he was too wrapped up to even notice anything else.

A woman standing next to the galaxy map took out a data pad and punched some buttons that made more noises than necessary. “You got them Commander!” was the jovial message given back to the boy.

A gentle laugh sounded from Ashley, who was behind him, sending chills up and down his spine. “Commander, you have an incoming transmission. Should I loop it to the comm. room?” Ashley quickly melded herself into the little game, but the boy turned around anyways.

“Mommy!” _What was a kid doing around a prototype warship?_ _Wait,_ the word finally sunk in, _he just said ‘Mommy.’_

Before his thoughts could travel further, the kid ran towards him, then past him, and right into Ashley’s arms as she knelt to hug him. “Say thank you to Tray for playing with you.”

“Thanks!” The boy’s smile lit up the room. As he glanced around, all the women in the room seemed unable to look away from the boy. _Just wait until he gets older_ , he thought to himself. ‘He’ll be breaking hearts left and right,’ as his mother used to say. “Mommy got the bad guys?”

Ash’s smile shone as brightly as his. “Yes, Mommy got the bad guys. She even brought a friend for you to meet. Adrien, say hello to Commander Shepard.” Her gaze turned up to meet him, and his stomach still did a little flip. _No sense in thinking like that_ , he scolded himself. _She has a kid, so she obviously cares about someone else._ Adrien turned to gaze up at him as he knelt down to be on the same level, holding out his hand. Adrien stared in awe for a moment.

“Hi Skipper!” Instead of shaking the offered hand, he instead hi-fived it before starting an old hand-shake Shepard and a few of his Mindoirian friends had made up in high school. Doing the hand-shake felt like stepping back in time, and a smile grew of its own accord. “I see your mother told you about me.” Both pairs of eyes turned back to the woman in question who grinned back at them.

“Do you mind if we head up to your cabin to talk? We can get out of everyone’s way.” Her wink would have fooled anyone as simply mischievous, but he knew that whatever Ash wanted to talk about was something she didn’t want the others to hear about. So he indulged them and lead them both up towards his cabin, somewhere that only Garrus and Dr. Chakwas had gone before and that was to drag him up there and all but tie him to the bed to rest after the attack on the Collector base.

As soon as they had set foot in the cabin, Adrien was drawn to two things: the model ships and the empty aquarium. The ships seemed to take the higher priority though, as he began to reach for one after a long stare at both objects.

“Adrien!” Ashley scolded him as his hands found a model of the SR-1. “Don’t touch without asking. Ask Shepard if you can play. Sorry, sometimes he does that. I’ve been trying to get him to ask first.” The last bit was directed at him as she took the toy from the boy’s grasp and handed it to Shepard.

“Can I play?” Adrien stared hungrily at the ship as he asked.

“Say please.” Apparently that was the second lesson that she was trying to teach.

“Please!” Adrien used the word like it was a magic wand, hoping that the spell would work, and Shepard felt himself grinning.

“Here you go.” Shepard knelt down and handed the toy back to Adrien. With glee in his eyes, Adrien quickly began a game of flying the ship by running around everywhere, making various ship noises.

“Adri, can you play over here quietly? Mommy needs to have ‘big-talk’. Here, Mommy will give you this too if you want to play.” She quickly took out a data pad and put it to a few different apps that were kid-friendly before handing it off. The boy nodded and went over the desk area.

“If you want to talk, we can sit over here.” He gestured to the couch and Ashley nodded before walking over. “Sorry, sometimes he’s a bit of a handful. But he’s sweet when you get to know him. He’s pretty smart for his age and full of questions.” Ashley looked as if she was more concerned about Shepard getting angry at Adrien than talking about whatever issue she had.

“I don’t mind. I know you want to talk, so what’s on your mind? Normally you don’t ask to speak in private unless it’s important.” He was honest. He didn’t know Adrien very well, but he could tell that the kid was good. And kids were supposed to be rambunctious. Hell, Shepard and his siblings were all over the place as kids.

“Thanks. I appreciate the privacy.” For once, Ashley looked flustered. She kept glancing over at Adrien.

“I can only imagine how glad you are that you were able to get him off of Earth.” Most likely, she was concerned about her son. Marines weren’t used to having a little kid aboard a fighting vessel. Though he didn’t want to push whatever it was she wanted to talk about.

“Yah. Who would have thought that the one day I bring Adri to work gives him a chance to get off Earth and escape the Reapers?” Her face paled for a moment, thinking most likely of the horrors her son had escaped. “Strangely enough, I’m not thinking of Adri.” The confession was startling for Shepard, and he furrowed his brow. “I’m thinking of all the ones who are stuck on Earth. We’ll never have a full list of casualties. They’ll never know what happened. They’ll never have the body. That’s the worst part. Not being able to bury the body.” Unsure of what to do, he stayed where he was, unable to say anything to soothe her because she spoke the truth. However, he knew what the one question on his tongue was, but he didn’t know how to ask it.

“What about his father?” He tentatively asked, and seeing the expression on her face begin to change rapidly, added “I’m sure that wherever he is, he’ll be fighting soon. That he’ll try to find his way to both of you.” He wanted to avoid a fight with Ashley, or worse, her breaking down in front of her son. He was expecting almost anything but what she actually said.

“I know his father is ok. And I know that his father will join the front lines of the battle as soon as he can.” The smile on her face was as hesitant as his voice. _But she still looks_ – He quickly squashed the thought. _She obviously has someone else in her life._

“How do you know? You seem so sure.” She looked him in the eyes, and he almost didn’t want her to answer. _You’re going to have to stop these thoughts. She’s not yours anymore._

“Because I’m looking at his father.” It was the softest of whispers.

The galaxy ground to a halt. Had he heard right? _Was Adri really?_ His mind felt as if it went from zero to overload in a matter of moments.

“Wait. What?” All he could manage was a hoarse whisper. “He . . . He survived Alchera?” It was more than he could have ever hoped for. He knew that Ashley had been pregnant when he had died, but he had given up all hope that Adri had survived a crash landing and all the stress that Ashley would have been under. Come to think of it. . . “How did he survive?”

“I’ll tell you everything. You at least have a right to know.” He breathed a soft sigh of relief. “When you made me leave the SR-1, I was in the same pod as Dr. Chakwas. I was able to get her off to one side for a moment and explain to her that I was pregnant. I don’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t been there for me. After we got back to the Citadel, I asked to meet with Anderson and Hackett. I told them that I was pregnant and asked for a year where my privacy could be guaranteed.” Shepard felt his eyebrows rise.

“So, how did they take that?”

“Well, they were shocked at first, but once I explained why I wanted privacy, they realized they had no other choice. If any reporter found out about Adri, rumors would start flying right off the bat. Your image was still being touted as a recruitment tool. They couldn’t let your name be ripped to shreds. I could be court-marshaled for fraternization charges, but the charges would never stick. No-one would tell who it was. They respected you too much. Not to mention that I never said who the father was. So really, letting me have a public birth just couldn’t happen.” Shepard felt a smirk growing on his lips. _She was sly, manipulating them like that. But I wouldn’t want him to have faced any of the publicity like that._ “What? After seeing how well you would handle politicians and talking with you about how to do it, I started to pick it up. I just knew that you wouldn’t want Adri to be forced into the spotlight because of you.”

“So what happened?”

“They didn’t have much of a choice. They took about a month but they set me up on a back-world planet. Officially I was ‘deep undercover’. They gave me about a year there for me to give birth and to also give a little bit of time for us to bond. It also gave them the ability to push the timeline of his birth if anyone started asking questions.”

“You were alone when you gave birth to him?” The thought broke Shepard’s heart. He knew how much Ashley’s family meant to her, and being unable to be near her family at such an important moment would have been difficult.

“No, fortunately my mom joined me. She met me on the planet and Anderson had her all but hidden on the planet as well. So mom was there for everything. I wasn’t alone.” The softest of smiles graced Ashley’s lips. _Well,_ Shepard thought quietly to himself, _at least she wasn’t alone. But what I would have given to have been there._

“Wait, Adri would have been born by the time we met on Horizon.” His voice seemed to reach the conclusion before his mind. “Why didn’t you tell me about him then?” His tone was a little harsher than he would have liked, but he couldn’t change it now. He also thought he knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from her. He heard her sigh softly and saw her head dip a little.

“Horizon.” The word felt like a death sentence between them. “I wasn’t sure about anything. I hadn’t seen you for more than a minute. You had been dead for two years. There had been rumors that you were alive, but I didn’t know for sure. I wasn’t sure if you were you. For all I knew, you were enslaved by Cerberus. Or it wasn’t you. But I wanted to keep Adri safe, so I didn’t mention him to you. But please believe me that as time went by, I looked everywhere I could to make sure that it was you. And I wanted to tell you while you were relieved of duty, but neither of us would be able to do anything about it. I didn’t want you to have to deal with more than you needed to.” He felt his head nodding in response. He knew that this was going to be the general answer, but somehow, having her say it made it all just a little bit better.

“So,” Questions flooded Shepard’s mind. He was having trouble sorting all the questions out. “How old is he now?”

Her smiled widened. “He’s coming up on three years old now. His birthday is in about 2 months.” Her smile suddenly diminished. “I just realized, his present was back on Earth, though I guess the real gift is that we both got off ok and that you’re alive.” She steadied herself again. “I know you’re going to have a lot of questions.” She paused for a moment, and her eyes got a little glassy, a sure sign that she was thinking back. “When you weren’t here, I sometimes took holos or videos of him, hoping to be able to lay them on your grave one day.” His heart leapt into his throat, unsure if it was in fear or joy. Suddenly, the truth of the situation sunk in.

“So, I’m a dad?” The responsibility hit him like a ton of bricks, and he felt like he could be knocked over with a feather. Unconsciously, he glanced over at his son. Adrien was happily finger painting on a data pad, oblivious to everything around him. _But he doesn’t know me. I’m a stranger to him, or a figure in one of his mother’s stories. If this becomes public knowledge, he’ll never have a normal life. I_ want _him to be normal. To be able to enjoy a life on Earth or wherever in anonymity._ “If you don’t want him to know, I’m fine with that.” The thought of never being near his son again was a little frightening, but if that was better for everyone, so be it. “You don’t have to include me, I can understand if you don’t.” He wanted to get everything out fast, before he could develop any sort of bond. If the rest of his life was any indication, those closest to him were the ones at greatest risk of harm. “He doesn’t need to know who I am. You can just dis-” His words were cut short by her fingers on his lips, and the rest of the world melted away for a moment as well. _It’s been years,_ he thought to himself, _but she still has those same eyes, that same look, as if Ilos was only yesterday._

“You don’t have to go anywhere. I appreciate that you are willing to give us privacy.” Her hand went from his lips to his hand. “I do want you to be a part of his life Andy.” His heart seemed to both soar and tremble in fear at her words. It didn’t help that she used the shortened version of his first name, something that he had only heard a handful of times outside of Mindoir. A soft chuckle amplified the reaction as his eyes met Ashley’s again. “You don’t have to look so terrified you know. He’s already over some of the most difficult stages. He’s even potty trained, so you don’t have to worry about me sticking that on you.” Screw flying, he wasn’t sure that his heart could handle a walk in the park anymore. “I can only imagine how much a whirlwind this is for you. How about this: we’ll talk about specifics more once we get whatever it is that Hackett wants from Mars. Who knows how long we’ll have to get it wherever it needs to go. That should be enough time to work out what we both want.”

“That sounds good.” _Well, at least my mouth still works properly,_ “So, did he have anyone for a father figure around? You know, while I wasn’t there.” _Ok, that definitely should have hit a filter before it got to my mouth. Bad Shepard. Really really stupid sentence there Shepard._

“No.” She appeared to be fascinated with their hands. “He stayed with my mom while I was on Horizon. I. . .” She hesitated, and he found himself hanging on her words. He just had to know. “I could never find anyone to be something like a father for him. I told him stories about you and Kaidan and Wrex and everyone else on the SR-1. He had been begging me for months to see the _Normandy_ when he found out that it was here. He just wanted to see it. And the committee wanted me to talk to them about the Reapers. So I told him ok.” A soft chuckle escaped her lips. “I just couldn’t find another soldier who enjoyed poetry as much as me.”

The comm. crackled to life before he could figure out how to answer.

“Commander? Lieutenant-Commander? We’re about half an hour away from Mars.” Shepard shook his head and felt a soft chuckle escape. _Why is it that he has to interrupt us all the time?_ Ash apparently shared the same thought.

“Alright Joker, thanks for the heads-up.” They both began to get up, readying themselves for the mission.

“Oh, and Joker?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Please do me a favor and insert a filter. You aren’t known for a lot of self-control and we would both prefer if you kept a lid on your language.”

“Momma Bear has already made that one crystal clear.” A chuckle from Ash confirmed it. “And trust me, if she comes to me about something like that, I _know_ better than to try it. I like my bones unbroken.” Two chuckles confirmed that everything was settled.

“Then can you please have Traynor come up here to look after Adrien again? Or would you prefer that they stay out of your cabin?” The last question was aimed at him as Ash took it upon herself to settle Adrien.

“It doesn’t really matter. Though I remember that someone was enjoying the galaxy map, but wherever you think he would be best at is alright with me.” _Neutral enough, though I would prefer to keep everyone out of my cabin,_ he thought to himself.

“What do you think Adri? Want to play Commander with Traynor again?” Adrien’s eyes lit up in delight. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes please!” Though Shepard suddenly doubted that the boy could handle a ‘no,’ he was all but jumping up and down. Ash swapped a grin with him.

“Let’s head down, then.”


	2. Mars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter. So, since I said that I wanted this to be in the spirit of ME3, what will happen to Ash? Hmm. *strokes imaginary beard contemplatively* I won’t tell you! Enjoy and let me know what you think. I don’t know if I’ll include EVERY cutscene remotely involving Ash and Andy, but I will fill you in on the few cutscenes here.

“The data’s still in there.” Liara’s voice wasn’t showing any obvious sign of injury, though he knew she was in pain as Ash helped move her to clear the area. “Without that data, we won’t be able to build the weapon.”

But before anyone could respond, a loud thud resonated from the flaming shuttle. Everyone turned to face the new noise. _How the hell could someone survive that?_ Suddenly, the door flew off, and a charred, metallic humanoid stepped out. _So, Cerberus built an android to search for all this._ But before he could react, it was on top of Ash, who had pushed Liara back towards the safety of the shuttle. He sprinted to the other side of his shuttle, trying in vain to get a better shot.

“Put her down. Now!” But his command had no effect. Ash was at the mercy of the ‘droid, and he couldn’t help her. He was paralyzed as it slammed Ash into the shuttle multiple times. Their helmets were strong, but they weren’t made to handle that much trauma. Something snapped inside of him as the android turned towards him, and he unloaded his entire clip into the thing. Barely checking that it was dead, he ran forward. “Ashley.” _Say something, Ash!_ He silently begged for her to move, to say that she was fine. “Ash!” He was by her side and she still wasn’t responding.

“Commander, Reaper ships are closing in on the planet. We have to go now.” The urgency in Joker’s voice wasn’t mistaken. If he was that concerned, they had to leave now.

“Drag that bitch onto the ship for interrogation,” he commanded, pointing at the still machine. He turned back to Ash’s still form, and gently picked her up, cradling her in his arms and keeping her head as still as possible. “I’ve got you. Let’s get out of here,” he whispered to her.

“Move Adrien to my cabin.” He couldn’t have Ash’s son hearing this about his mother. He waited for a few moments.

“Traynor just moved him,” was the response he received from Joker.

“Lieutenant-Commander Williams was critically injured in an altercation with a Cerberus android. Is there a doctor on the ship?”

“No sir. But several crew members have basic medical training. The med-bay should have all the equipment we need to stabilize her.” He swore softly under his breath. Chakwas would have known what to do, but he had to make do with what he had.

Vega carried the android onto the ship with Liara limping behind him as they got onto the ship. Shepard moved as fast as he could to the elevator, hoping that it was just as fast as before.

When he reached the med-bay, there were 3 crew members there already. He quickly laid her on one of the gurneys, a crew member instantly stepped forward, removing her helmet. As they gathered any data from her suit, he quickly took each piece off. Kaidan had given him some basic first-aid training, and he was pulling everything he knew, trying to help in any way possible. But once he got the suit off, he had to turn his head. The mesh of her undersuit kept her body covered, but he could see her face clearly. She was gushing blood from several wounds, and motley bruises covered what little he could see. Medical jargon was flying around the room, and he only recognized half of it, but he knew enough to be scared for her. Liara gently pulled him back from the two working on Ash as the third joined. Liara’s leg wound had been patched up, and if he had been looking at her, he would have seen her concern for him.

“We’ll do what we can, but Ashley will need medical attention that the _Normandy_ simply can’t give her right now. We need to get her to the Citadel as soon as possible.” The words seemed to energize him. _We can’t find help in the Sol system. The Citadel is closer, large enough to have good care, and I can leave her there long enough to heal without being too concerned._

“Joker, set a course for the Citadel. Did any of the Reapers notice us when we were leaving Mars?” If not, they could go at full speed, and they needed to get Ash there as quick as possible.

“It appears that either the Reapers were more focused on something on Mars or they could not see us,” EDI interrupted. “Either way, we will be able to head for the Citadel at full speed. When the _Normandy_ was retro-fitted, the drive core was given a few advancements. We should be able to outmaneuver the Reapers for long enough to escape the system if we are spotted.” _So there is a possibility that they won’t see us. I won’t count on it though. The Collector ship found us easily. Regardless, we should be able to get to the Citadel at full speed. Hopefully that’s soon enough for Ash._

“Good. Full speed ahead.”

“Aye aye sir.” Joker replied as another crew member came in, motioning the Commander to sit on another bed to get his own injuries looked over.

 

He stood in front of the door to his cabin a few hours later, trapped by several thoughts. He couldn’t just walk in there and tell Adrien what had happened. He was a kid, and a young one at that. But he couldn’t keep him in the dark forever. _Oh God,_ the thought suddenly entered his head. _Who the hell is going to take care of him for now?_ Sure there was the crew of the _Normandy_ , but sooner or later _he_ would have to step up. _What the hell do I know about raising a kid? Nothing. I mean, maybe Liara could help, but she’s young by asari standards. Barely into the Matron stage if that far. Besides, I’m going to have to be the one to tell him that his mom got hurt on my watch._ He had to fight the urge to run back to the med-bay just to see if Ash was awake. He knew she wasn’t. She needed to get the Citadel now to even have a chance at her getting better.

“Commander,” EDI’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “the door to your cabin is unlocked.”

“I know EDI.”

“Then why haven’t you entered?” Her voice was genuinely curious, and he knew EDI well enough to know that she wasn’t being intentionally rude. And did he hear concern in her voice?

“Trying to think of what to tell him, or what to do to keep a kid his age entertained for long enough to get us to the Citadel. I don’t typically work with kids.” The last sentence was more of a confession than anything.

“I can lock-out any important parts of your omni-tool and supply the rest with some useful applications. Though based on his behavior, I believe he would prefer something to exercise his higher brain functions, what most humans call his ‘imagination’.” The information was startlingly insightful. But of course there was a catch.

“I’m not so sure that I’m good with the imagination stuff.” _Well it’s true._

“Actually, you use it more often than you think. Studies show that it helps the mind simulate what might happen and therefore plan ahead. Typically leaders use these skills most often. As far as interacting with him goes, most parenting articles show that you will follow his lead and merely prompt him for information and present him with different options, allowing him to think and choose.” _Wait, is she searching the extranet for advice? Oh no, no, no. No way am I going down this road. This will get way too tricky_ way _too fast._

“Wait, parenting articles? I think I’ll pass then.” _Hopefully she won’t try to pressure me into it._

“Why? The staff so far has been interacting with him very successfully. You have nothing to fear Shepard.” She was obviously confused.

“It. . . I just don’t want to screw this up. How do I tell Adri what happened without sending him into a panic? Kids generally don’t react well to finding stuff like this out.” _Or at least I didn’t react too well to Mindoir. Finding out that your parents aren’t invincible is something that shatters a child’s innocence. If only I was a little bit faster._

“Lieutenant-Commander Williams’ chances of recovery improve exponentially one she reaches the Citadel. It could be possible to focus his attention on the fact that she will get better.” The advice seemed sound enough, but even the best laid plans went to hell.

“Commander,” Joker suddenly interrupted, “if it makes you feel better, I can listen in. Chime in with humor and stuff when you need it. I’ve been keeping an ear on them in there anyways. Figured Ash would appreciate it.” He hadn’t expected Joker to do something like that, and he was glad he had. Then it seemed to start to hit him. He wasn’t just stuck with the task of raising him alone. He had the entire crew backing him. _Maybe if the others help, I won’t be such a terrible parent. Something about a village raising a kid._ The thought of having the others backing him up was suddenly bolstering, and he began to nod his head.

“That would be appreciated Joker. But I think I need to tell him about Ash on my own, at least at first.” He could do this. He just had to keep telling himself that and it just might work.

            He finally pushed the button to walk into his cabin and strode in, still wearing his armor. Adrien was sitting on the floor, oblivious to everything else, while the woman named ‘Traynor’ was playing a simple game on a data-pad. They looked up at his entrance, and Adrien waved. Shepard felt himself giving a small wave back before passing by them to grab a change of clothes, then passing a second time as he went to change in his bathroom.

            After he finished, he greeted Traynor, who was playing what looked like a board game with Adrien. She quietly got up to leave. “I’m going to go and help Joker fly the ship.”

            “Yeah, it means I get to tell her what to do for a little while.” Joker piped in, eliciting a grin from Adri and stern look from Traynor. She then turned to him, saluted, and left the room.

            “So,” _I sound awkward. Ask about something he’ll want to talk about._ “What were you two playing?”

            “Board game. We’re tied right now. But it was getting boring.” _Ok, no hope of piggy-backing onto that. What now?_

            “Hmm. Ok.” He suddenly struggled to find something that a small boy would like to do.

            “Hey Joker, you got a good joke?”

“Ok, I got one: an asari walks into a store and the saleswoman asks ‘Why so blue?’” Shepard could tell that he paused for a moment, and knew that the joke was supposed to be set in a bar instead of a store. _Thank God we told him to put a filter on._ Either way, the desired result was achieved: Adrien was rolling on the floor. That boy could laugh. It sounded so familiar.

            Adrien finally got up off the floor and grabbed the data-pad. “Play with me?” Adrien pulled up a two-player game where the object was who could poke more bubbles in a certain period of time. Shepard knew better than to win, but allowed Adri a moment or two where the leader was in question. After a few rounds, Shepard realized he was having fun.

            “Fun?” Adri had that look, one he recognized all too well: it was a look of near superiority. It was that ‘I know something that you don’t’ look. He had seen it on Ash, but this wasn’t it exactly. But it did look familiar.

            “Yeah. How did you do that?” _Ok, let’s find out where that superiority comes from._

            “Mommy makes me wait, and sometimes bigs don’t know what to do. So I let us have fun.” Well, if that was any indication, he was at least a little self-sufficient. That would help for the trip to the Citadel. _Little kid_ is _smart for his age. Just hope EDI is the one to get a thousand questions. She is probably the best one to give him those._ He was starting to think that maybe he could handle this sort of thing. Maybe not in the long-term, but at least for now he could.

            EDI suddenly chimed in “Commander, Dr. T’Soni is requesting entrance to your room. She is carrying two trays of food for Adrien and you.” _Just like Liara. I hadn’t thought of that at all. Adri is prolly hungry._

            “Please let her in,” he replied as he got up to meet her by his desk.

            “I don’t know when either of you ate last, but I thought it would be better to bring food than for both of you to be hungry. Everything has been so busy lately, and I didn’t want you to have to deal with a crowd in the mess.” She gave him a small wink. _Good thinking Liara. Then Adri won’t have to be near the med-bay and risk hearing about Ash._ He nodded his appreciation.

            “Well, wait a moment,” he spoke as he suddenly realized, “I don’t believe you’ve met Adrien yet. Liara, this is Adrien, Ashley’s son. Adrien, this is Liara T’Soni. She was on the first _Normandy_ with your mother and me.” Liara gently waved and knelt to shake the boy’s hand. Adrien’s eyes were wide open in wonder. _Probably the first time he’s met an Asari._

            “You’re an Asari!” He tentatively shook Liara’s hand, as if trying to feel the differences between the two species just by the simple handshake. He quickly glanced back up and squinted his eyes for a moment. “Wait, you fought with Mommy?”

            “Not frequently, but I did a few times.” It was true that Liara didn’t fight often. Liara had spent most of her time on the SR-1 gaining weapon proficiency, decoding any Prothean technology they came across, or even improving the crew’s biotics for battle. Kaidan said that he had learned new techniques from her during sparring matches. But the few times he fought with her in the hunt for Saren, she had shown talent. In his fight against the Collectors, he had only fought with her once, but she had obviously improved her fighting skills over his two year absence. The boy nodded once, looking past her before his face brightened.

            “Mommy showed me a picture with you.” Shepard would have bet a million credits as to what photo it was, and it was one of his favorites. It was from one of the press conferences after Sovereign attacked the Citadel. He had just finished praising the skills of his team and how he wouldn’t have been able to get that far without them. How his team had shown the best of their species. Several photographers wanted a picture of the complete team, so they had all posed. Even Joker, Chakwas, Presley, and Adams were there. He had spoken about how every individual on the SR-1 kept the mission going. He had kept a copy of the photo, but had lost it when the Collectors took down the SR-1. He looked at Liara, and they both smiled, knowing exactly which picture it was.

            “That picture is one of my favorites.” She softly replied before straightening. “Either way, I should leave you two to your food. I don’t want it to get cold. So I will see both of you later.” She nodded at both before turning to leave.

            “Bye Liara!” Adri called after her, who turned back and told him good-bye.

            “Well,” he turned back to Adri after his door closed, “let’s find out what we have.” He uncovered both plates to find sandwiches for both of them, with water for Shepard and a juice box for Adrien. The sandwiches had a variety of meats, and one of Adrien’s was a PBJ. He motioned for Adrien to come with him as he brought both trays to the couch. “Alright, this tray is yours. Dig in.” He picked up one of the sandwiches and started eating. _Not quite as fresh as when Gardner made them, but good as far as Alliance food goes. But food will be one of the first things we need to stock up on when we reach the Citadel. Better say something now before I forget._ “EDI, can you make sure that we stock up on food supplies in the Citadel before we leave as well as anything else that the Alliance didn’t restock before we left?”

            “Certainly, Commander.” EDI’s cool reply sounded back as Adri discovered the PBJ sandwich, which Liara cleverly hid under another meat sandwich.

            “First Liara brings you your food, then she gets you a PBJ? Man, how do you pull that off?” Joker’s near incredulous tone had Adrien giggling.

            “Hi Joker,” Adrien finally managed after his giggles subsided.

            “Hey buddy. Figured I’d hang around you. You have better conversations than the rest of the crew. They get kinda boring.” Adrien smiled some more.

            “You know, if you ask nicely, then Liara just might do that for you.” Shepard couldn’t resist chiming in. Having Joker around did help him out, if Shepard was being honest with himself.

            Adrien continued munching on his sandwiches for a while longer before looking around the cabin in curiosity. “Where is Mommy? She should be back by now.” _Oh boy, here goes the hope that I could just avoid this. No running now, Shepard._

            “Your mom is in the med-bay. One of the bad guys wanted to hurt her.” He paused for a moment, trying to explain the situation to a kid who still wasn’t even three years old yet.

“Is Mommy hurt like Kaidan?” _Oh God, please don’t ever let it come to that._ He quickly shook his head, not wanting Adri to think about it too long.

“No. Not like that. We’re taking her to the Citadel. The doctors there will make her better.” He tentatively put his arm around Adrien’s shoulders, hoping that he wouldn’t have to take those words back. _Please get better Ash_ , he silently pleaded, knowing she couldn’t hear him but hoping that some divine force might.

“You saved Mommy again?” _Where’s this question coming from?_

“I stopped the bad guys from hurting her, so I guess so.”

“Superman.” Adri quietly turned and wrapped his arms around as much of Shepard as he could, hugging him. “Thank you Superman.” The ship seemed to stop for just a moment. _He’s hugging me. What do I do? Should I hug him back?_ He glanced down at his son. _Guess that wouldn’t hurt._ He brought his arms around the small boy and hugged back.

“I’m just trying to help everyone. I just wish your mom didn’t have to get hurt.” He wasn’t sure how much the boy understood, but he hoped Adri understood that much. But he did need a distraction soon.

“Hey, I know your mom told you about some of the stories of our time together, but I wonder if she told you about the first time we saw the Citadel.” His head turned up to him, and he shook his head eagerly. “Well, have you ever seen the Citadel before?” The mop of hair flew all over the place, trying to follow the ‘no’ Adri was giving him. Shepard opened his omni-tool, pulling up images of the Citadel. “Well, this picture is taken from the mass relay, and at first you can’t even see it; it’s covered in clouds from an old star.”

He may not know anything about raising a kid, but he did know how to tell a good story. He just had to leave out the part where Ash started accidentally flirting with him.

 

            He walked into the hospital room. They hadn’t had Ash there for very long. If the conversation he overheard was any indication, they had been cutting it pretty close. He took a long look at the woman in the room. He had never seen her like this. She was just lying there helplessly. It broke his heart, but not for himself, for their son. If he spoke to her, she probably wouldn’t hear him. But he couldn’t just let her lay there. He had to at least try to tell her what was going on.

            “Hey there Ash. Glad you’re still with us. I don’t know what I would’ve told Adri if. . .” he didn’t let himself finish the thought, instead clearing his throat and continuing. “I hope you know that you’ve got a few people around here worried, and I’m definitely one of those people. I wanted to stop by to check on how you were doing. Give Adrien some news, and tell you that he’s ok. He’s concerned about you, but he knows you’ll come back to him.” He finally sat down and took her hand with his. “We don’t know where your family is, but I have Liara looking for them. She has some sources she can pull from, and if we can find anyone, we’ll let Adrien stay with them. But in the meantime, he’ll be staying on the _Normandy_. I wish you hadn’t gotten hurt on Mars, but I’m glad that I was able to see you again and meet Adrien. But he needs you. And I know that you’re much better at the parent thing than I am. So get better. When you’re awake again and feel up to it, I’ll bring him to see you. I think both of you would like that.” The doctor walked in and he knew he wouldn’t be able to talk about Adrien anymore. “Let me know if she needs anything.” The doctor nodded in response and Shepard got up to leave. “I’ll stop by again soon. You’d better be awake when I come back.” He walked out after that, forcing himself not to turn around. If he did, he may not go back to the ship. So he strode out of the hospital purposefully, hoping that Liara had located Adri’s next of kin.

 

            “Shepard, I have some news.” Liara responded as he sat down next to her in a café on the Presidium.

            “Where do we need to go?” He didn’t want to waste any time. If Adrien had family here or somewhere safe, Shepard would take the boy there.

            “Well, you have a few choices,” she started hesitantly, “I’m not sure where most of his family is. Almost all of Ash’s family was on Earth at the time of the attacks.” Shepard felt himself pale a little. That knowledge must have been tearing Ash up on Mars. “I don’t know where they are, but there is a chance that one of Ashley’s sisters is heading for the Citadel.”

            “How much of a chance?” He realized that he was all but hanging on Liara’s every word, and he quickly fixed his posture again.

            “It’s about 50/50. And there’s no telling how long it may take her shuttle to get here. Plus there’s the chance that it gets diverted. My professional opinion is that this is your call. It could go either way.” _She’s holding something back, but what is it?_

            “And your personal opinion?” _Let’s see if we can get that last bit out of her._

            “It still is your decision, but I think that things are still in the air. Things happen in disasters. He’s safer with you for the time being.” _She’s still holding something back. Fine then, let’s wrangle it out of her._

            “There’s something you’re holding back on Liara. I can tell. Will you please tell me?” He wouldn’t say anything to force it out of her, but he did want a full answer.

            “I looked into Ash’s full records while she was undercover. I know almost everything and can guess the rest.” _One more person who knows the truth. Hopefully Ash will be ok with that. But she_ is _the Shadowbroker. Doubt I could keep this a complete secret from everyone forever. But Liara will be discrete. She won’t flat-out say it, so I think I can trust her on this._ “Adrien is lucky to be with one of his mother’s close friends. And I think Ash will trust you to keep him safe when we aren’t sure where any of her family is.” He nodded his agreement.

            “Then it’s settled. He’ll stay on the _Normandy_ until Ashley says so or other circumstances come up. How do you think we’ll arrange his care for now when we go on missions?”

            “I think that what was going on during Mars is good. I think that it would be ok for him to occasionally roam decks, though I think most of the crew will need to adjust some of their behaviors. However, I do think it’s a good idea for him to steer clear of the armory.” The thought of Vega swearing while working on guns suddenly sprang into Shepard’s mind. _Definitely not good for him to go there. Maybe he can meet Vega in the mess, but not the armory. Cortez is friendly enough. Adri would probably love to see the shuttle._

            “I agree. Would you be willing to do some of that with us? He might get bored of just hanging out with Traynor, Joker, and me.”

            “Sure. Not to mention he might find Dr. Chakwas to be a good source of stories.” _Chakwas. I hadn’t even thought about her being on the ship. Perfect. Maybe I can also hear a little about how Ashley was during the crash. I just want to know._

            “Another good suggestion. But hey, let’s go ahead and head back to the ship. It’s late and we have a primarch to find.” They both stood and headed back towards the elevators.

 

            That night, Andy had a strange dream with the little boy from Earth again. _Thank God that wasn’t Adri._ After talking with Liara and Traynor, he headed down to the mess. _I can at least try to look at something besides my room._ He had only just stepped out of the elevator when he heard what sounded like a small commotion in the crew quarters. _Best step in before it turns into a brawl._ He walked over to see one of the crewmen walking out with Adrien.

            “Is something wrong?” Adrien seemed to suddenly find his feet to be very interesting.

            “Adrien just had a bad dream. I was going to help him calm down a little, sir.”

            “I can do that. You’re just heading off to bed. At ease,” he paused for a moment, not recognizing the man before him.

            “Engineering First Class Beemer.” The soldier shot off a small salute, before giving Adrien a small push towards Shepard.

            “Back to bed Beemer. The shifts are tight enough as is. I’m up anyways. We all need our sleep.” He hoped he didn’t seem to brush the man off, but every crewman needed to be at his or her best. Hackett had told him they would be getting more crewmembers, but that wasn’t for another week. In the meantime, they had to make do with a skeleton crew. He motioned for Adrien to follow him. “Come on; let’s see if we can get a glass of milk.” Adrien seemed to perk up and quickly followed him as Beemer went back into the crew’s quarters.

            “So, wanna talk about your dream?” He asked as they sat down with coffee and milk. He wouldn’t push Adrien, but he wanted to know what he could do to help. Though Shepard did have a pretty good idea of what was bothering Adri.

            “It’s different here. Without Mom.” Adri was wiggling around uncomfortably.

            “Shadows seem scarier?” _Been there, done that._ Adri nodded soundlessly in response.

            “Hmm. Best advice I can give is to find something that makes it normal. It can be a smell or how someone snores, or a sound that happens. Can you think of something?”

            “Momma left a ribbon for her hair. Smells like her.” He knew what Adri was talking about. Most people didn’t see the neutral colored ribbon that helped bind her hair up. But they had done so many missions together that he had noticed.

            “Sounds like a good object. Keep it near you when you go to bed, and that should help.”

            “Thanks.” It was a soft whisper. He knew it wasn’t enough to keep the boogey-man at bay, but it would help. Though he had a good idea what might serve as a good stick.

            “I used to have nightmares sometimes when I was little. My mom would sometimes tell me stories to calm me down again. I may not tell them as well as she could, but do you wanna hear one anyways?” Adri nodded and looked at him, waiting for the story to start.

            “Well, this story is about a man named Kensington. Now Kensington was a drifter, he never lived in one place for a long time. But he always had a few things on him: his hoverbike, his omni-tool, and his two pistols.” He started to tell Adrien one of his favorite stories about Kensington, a hero who didn’t always play by all the rules. Kensington wasn’t necessarily a role model, but Andy had loved the gun-slinging adventures when he was a kid. And Kensington was a good guy who relied on his skills and brains more than anything else. This story involved locals disappearing without a trace. The villain of this story was a wealthy older man who used his large property as a hiding ground for the bodies and his tech to help screen his illegal activities, leaving a servant to do the dirty work of actually hiding the bodies. Shepard had only just gotten to his favorite part of the story, a shootout between several masked men and Kensington, and paused to drink some more of his coffee. He glanced up and saw Adrien’s head against the table. Shepard leaned over to see the small sliver of Adri’s head left exposed, and it was obvious: Adri was sound asleep.

At that moment, he heard the med-bay doors whoosh open, and Dr. Chakwas walked out. She began to greet him when he placed a single finger on his lips before pointing to the sleeping form. She glanced at the sleeping form and nodded her head knowingly. She quietly asked Shepard to wait for a moment before gingerly picking Adrien up and carrying him off to the crew’s quarters. She came back a few minutes later.

            “I must admit Shepard, you’re doing pretty well given the circumstances.” She beckoned him with a wave of her arm, and he followed her back to the med-bay. “How much do you know about Adrien?” He knew that Chakwas was fishing at this point, and cut her off.

            “I know about my son.” Chakwas smiled at him.

            “I wish I could have told you when we were going after the Collectors. But Ashley sent me an email, asking that I not tell you anything. She said that she wanted to be the one to tell you. I sent her the files regarding the Lazarus project without the more gruesome pictures attached and warned her of the subject nonetheless. I respected her wish to not let you know. But I am glad that you know the truth.” He understood and nodded.

            “Well Doc, I applaud you for not spilling the secrets when we shared that brandy. I’ve heard bigger secrets come flying out after a few glasses of lesser liquids. I was also hoping that I could ask you a few questions about stuff that went on with Ash and Adrien while I was gone.” These were the questions that had been slowly piling in his head since he was told that he was a dad but had never had the chance to ask Ash.

            “I’ll answer everything I can.” He appreciated her sincerity and openness. It was why soldiers hated her less than the average doctor.

            “Tell me about Alchera.” The doctor took a deep breath before beginning.

            “We managed to land the escape pod without it crashing too hard. That alone probably saved Adrien’s life. It was difficult for everyone. I was trying to take care of the wounded, and had dealt with the most severe traumas when Ashley approached me and discreetly told me about her condition. I helped her as best as I could. Adrien and Ashley were strong and neither of them wanted to give up that battle. So he survived against the odds.” She gave him a small grin and motioned in his direction. “Much like someone else.”

            “Did she keep in touch with you after that?”

            “She didn’t send anything for about a year. When she came out from undercover, we re-established communications and she would occasionally send me holos or vids of Adrien. I can send you copies of the emails if you wish.” He was now going to be sitting on a small mountain of treasure: time he had missed. It was the most important part of the time he had lost. Seeing it would be like gaining part of it back. It would probably help him understand Adrien better too. He nodded his head, unable to thank her for the information he gave her. “You’re more than welcome, Commander.” She smiled at him before gently shooing him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ash isn’t safe from canon. And Shepard makes an awkward dad sometimes. But then again, he’s only just been exposed to this possibility. My mental image is him being handed a baby, getting a look of terror on his face, and then promptly handing the baby off to someone else. But I like the idea of Shepard and Ashley really explaining things to him with stories and memories. And Liara knows about Adri. And Adri’s question! It took me a while to get the build-up to that conversation because it is hard to explain bad stuff to a little kid. I like how all the different characters at least try to help Shepard in their own way. And while it may take a village to raise a child, this ship will give it their all.  
> On one last note, I struggled with finding a good bedtime story for Adrien. All I really wanted was a good gunslinger to tell Adrien, ‘cause isn’t that what boys like? (I’m an only child, so I really don’t know. I just guessed.) But I couldn’t find anything good enough for a baseline! That scene seriously took me a good month. But my good friend LordMep told me about a DC character named Jonah Hex. He gave me some research info on him, and I used that to write the bedtime story, with the hero character being an imitation of Jonah Hex. So, Mep, I give you my thanks and kudos, and this chapter (and most of the others) wouldn’t have been released without your help.


	3. Palaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, we’ll be jumping around. Because I don’t intend on making Shepard think about Ashley after every single fight or have all the awkward conversations that slowly become less awkward between Shepard and Adrien. So we’re jumping to where Garrus has only just come aboard the Normandy.

 “Of course, because after what I’ve seen over the past two weeks, calibrating a big gun could be dangerous for me.” The words were sharper than what he normally expected from his friend, and Garrus paused to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to say it like that. I just need this to center myself. I can’t imagine what it’s like on Earth.”

“Don’t remind me. And we had to leave just as the Reapers were falling on top of us. Then we had to leave Anderson to hold the Reaper invasion off as long as possible.” It was like watching one of the Prothean Cipher dreams, but now it was set on Earth with his kind being annihilated instead of another.

“I know Ash being in the hospital can’t be easy. I know you still care about her. But at least there’s a silver lining.” The turian’s face plates arranged themselves into what Shepard had understood to be a smile. But wait a second. . .

“What’s the silver lining? I’m no longer under house arrest?” He might as well try something cautious, test what Garrus really knew.

“No. Being this near to your son is.” _Ok, how the hell does he know that?_

“Something you want to tell me Garrus?”

“Ash was . . . different before she disappeared under Alliance ‘deep-cover’ for long enough to have a child. Whether you humans believe it or not, turians actually have a good sense of smell. Whenever you were in the same room as Ash on the SR-1, you were both swimming in pheromones. Your attraction to each other was obvious. The fact that you were professional about it kept anyone from telling. Ash smelled different before the SR-1 went down. She was still swimming in hormones, but completely different ones: ones normally made during human pregnancy. The facts that she wasn’t going on missions anymore and was starting to show a little weight were the other two differences, though without the pheromones I probably would have missed them. He’s your son. I know that much. If you had known you were a father, you would have reacted a lot more strongly before we hit the Collector base or on Horizon. I understand you Shepard.” He had always guessed that the crew had known something. Hell, he had guessed that everyone knew the relationship. He trusted Garrus, but to have the turian’s faith in him shown in such a dramatic way was astonishing and humbling. The turian was his brother-in-arms, and he suddenly felt more appreciative of his friend.

“Guess I can’t hide it from you that well. But please don’t mention it in front of the crew.”

“Of course not. I know that it wouldn’t be acceptable in your military, and I respect you and your son’s right to privacy. Not to mention that Ash’s retribution would be hell.” He had to chuckle at that one.

“Good to know. Well, I guess I’ll mention who does know so you know who to talk with. Chakwas and Liara already know. EDI could know but she respects my privacy. Not sure if Joker knows either, but if EDI knows, then he does too. But other than that, no one else knows.”

“Alright. Thanks for the heads up.” Shepard turned to leave as Garrus went back to his calibrations. They would be at the Citadel soon, and he needed to see Ash if she was awake.

 

He walked into Ash’s room in Huerta and was instantly glad that he came. Ash was sitting up and awake. He readjusted the surprise behind his back as he approached her bedside.

“Hey. How’s my little soldier doing?” Of course, her first words would be about Adri despite the fact that he had helped Adri write a letter to his mom.

“He’s fine. Everyone on the ship has been helping to keep him occupied. Also, he wanted me to bring this for you.” He brought the small present from behind his back. It was a collection of poetry from several species and time periods, and a small data-disk of pictures that Adrien had drawn. Her smile seemed to light up the room as she began to pull up the pictures.

“Thank you. Just seeing these make me feel better. Do you think you could bring him next time you visit? My face should be healed up enough. I don’t want to startle him. He didn’t see me while I was unconscious right?” He shook his head.

“No. The crew and I helped keep him occupied long enough to get you here.” She relaxed at his statement.

“So how have you been feeling?” He knew she would play it down, but he wanted to know what she needed.

“I’m doing pretty well given the circumstances. Ready to leave once I woke up, but you know how doctors are.” He smirked. They both were known to walk around before Chakwas would say that they were ‘fully healed’.

“Rumor has it this isn’t the first time you’ve seen my room. I don’t remember it though. Was I awake?”

“No. You had only just gotten out of surgery when I came in.” She winced.

“I’m guessing I didn’t look that good at the time.”

“You were pretty beat up. But I didn’t stay for long, just enough to give you and Adrien enough information for an update. I can understand if you don’t feel up to it now, but . . .”

“No. I’m good. I was hoping that we could get a chance to talk. They told me that you kept Adrien in the mean-time since you couldn’t find any of my family.”

“Yes. Though now that you’re awake, you can let me know what you think is best for him. He is your son after all.” She smiled at him.

“You did the right thing. I’ve been reading reports. They say that Sanctuary is the place to go, but it sounds like everyone not running to the Citadel is running to Sanctuary. Both of those places are going to be running low on food and space.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t send him to either place. Not if he’s alone. And I won’t run from a fight.” She paused and sighed. “I guess what I’m saying is that I want him to stay on the _Normandy_. Everything else is too unstable right now. It wouldn’t surprise me if there are shortages soon. The Citadel, anywhere where refugees are hiding will have to start turning people away. And the Reapers will eventually choose them as targets. On the SR-2, he’ll have a ship full of people who care about him.” She touched his hand as she said that, and he knew what she meant: that he cared about Adri. “He’s safer on the _Normandy_ than anywhere else in the galaxy. I trust you.” Those three words meant the world to him at that moment. “Though I wish I knew where my family was.”

“What do you know? I had Liara use her information network, but we couldn’t find too much.”

“My mom and my sisters were on Earth when the Reapers attacked. I was just so worried about Adri at the time that I didn’t even think about them. I think everyone has gotten off. One sister, Lynn, sent me an email, said she was heading to Sanctuary with her daughter. Mom said that she was volunteering on a military ship. She knows enough to find her way through a military ship and found a ship that needs her help. I haven’t heard anything from Abby, and that’s worrying me. Sarah was able to find an evac shuttle off Earth too. She’s here on the Citadel, waiting for news about her husband. He’s a military man and was called back. She’s alone right now.” She was fidgeting. It was obvious that she hated not having any news about Abby. It made him want to help them however he could.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Not really. But could you have Liara keep an ear out for any updates?”

“Of course.” She relaxed, and he saw her start to suppress a yawn. “You’re tired. I’ll let you sleep. I’ll keep in touch, and you should get another email from Adri soon.” He started to get up.

“Wait, there’s something else I need to talk about.” There was almost an edge of panic in her voice.

“Ok. What do you want to talk about?”

“What about us? Things have been different over the past few years. It’s been quite the rollercoaster. I can understand if there are barriers to entry on this.” She stopped for a minute, not looking at him. _Wait, she thinks I may not want a relationship with her_ because _we have a kid?_

“Ashley,” he shook his head as he took her hand, “that is many things. But it most certainly isn’t a ‘barrier to entry’. Don’t you understand? There’s only been you. Horizon hurt like hell, but I knew that you needed time. Garrus has made mention of this being the equivalent to walking into hell. And I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side. I had most certainly hoped that I had made myself clear on Mars. If you want to make this work, I do too. I can understand if you want to walk away, but I want to make this, us, work.” She looked stunned for a moment. _I guess that I’ll take that as a ‘no’._

“Well, damn. You were always a sweet-talker, but it would seem it doesn’t take that much to make this girl weak in the knees.” Even hearing her talking about her injuries in such a nonchalant way was enough to remind him of why she was there in the first place: she was already walking with him into hell.

“It wouldn’t surprise me. You’ve spent how long in bed?” Her face grimaced a little, not wanting to be reminded.

“Thanks for the reminder.” She settled back. _And there goes your smooth charm._

“Sorry. I took it the wrong way. It just killed me to watch that _thing_ do that to you and be powerless to stop it.” Her face softened as he explained himself.

“I can imagine. You started fussing over me when you first found out about Adri.” He could still remember it so clearly: laying on the bed next to her, rubbing her still flat stomach and whispering ‘I love you’ twice. He had made her stop going on missions as much, claiming that she still had a broken bone that was healing. Technically, she could go on missions, but he was doing what he could to protect their child. He shook himself out of the memories as she did too.

“Can you blame me? But regardless, you’re still healing, and your son still needs you. Get better soon, Ash.” He reached over and squeezed her hand as she smiled at him.

“Bring him the next time you visit me.” She poked him in the chest for emphasis.

“Will do.” He nodded and got up. As he walked out of the hospital, he felt lighter for having talked with her. _She really does want to make this work. Let’s hope the cosmos don’t try to keep us apart again._

 

Shepard had only just gotten back from the Citadel a day ago and looked considerably better. Joker could guess that by his expression, everything with Ash went smoothly.

“Jeff?” EDI suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

“Yes EDI?”

“I have some strange data.”

“Strange how?” His voice instantly showed his concern and he felt his heart speed up. This couldn’t be good. For all they knew, strange meant a Reaper was sneaking up on them.

“It is nothing to be concerned about Jeff. I do not believe it is a bad thing.”

“Then don’t do that. You freak me out when you do that.”

“I will not do that in the future unnecessarily.”

“Good. Now, what were you gonna ask or tell me?”

“The Commander has been different lately.”

“Different how? The Reapers are here, Ash nearly died on Mars, there’s a kid running around that the ship is raising even though Shepard thinks it should be his responsibility, there’s a lot of things about Shepard that are different.”

“I have noticed increased paternal behaviors that correlate with his proximity with Adrien. Based on these observations and observations of several crew members, I believe that-”

“EDI?” He quickly interrupted. She _definitely_ couldn’t say that observation of hers out loud.

“Yes Jeff?”

“Did you mention this to anyone?” _Please say no,_ he inwardly begged.

“Including the Commander?” _Oh_ shit.

“Especially the Commander.” _Please don’t let her have told him_ , he silently pleaded.

“No I have not.” Joker relaxed in his seat. _Dodged a bullet there. Definitely didn’t want to become space-goo._

“Good. Keep it to yourself. The last thing he needs right now is scuttlebutt going to town on the ship. Especially where that reporter woman is involved. And most importantly, if scuttlebutt starts going around, I will not have it traced to me.”

“Very well Jeff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPACE-GOO!! I came up with that, and I giggled at my own words. So yah, turian stuff. Not too sure on what protocol is with turian senses, so I’m taking liberty with my AU category. I think I wrote enough bro-mance. Did I? And Shepard and Ash finally admit to liking each other. Can they make it work? Will I become maniacal and make a tragedy? Will I write a Shakespearean comedy? Did I write characters to be totally unlike themselves? What did you think? Unfortunately, I’m not a biotic, so I can’t read minds. *wink* So tell me!
> 
> And in case I didn’t make it clear, Diana Allers is on the ship now. *rolls eyes* I know, she isn’t very interesting, but my Shepards always put up with her to get extra war assets. IDK, I may write her out. *shrugs*


	4. Chapter 4

The door to Shepard’s cabin whooshed open and he headed in with two trays, met soon by Adrien, reaching up to take his tray. After debating for a moment, he bent down to hand Adrien the tray. It didn’t have anything that could easily spill, so why not? He was quickly glad that it didn’t have anything breakable as well, as it tumbled out of Adrien’s hands within moments. Setting down his own tray, he started to show Adrien how to best grip the plate with more sandwiches. Finally feeling a bit more confident, he let go, and the plate held. A grin spread across Adrien’s face as he marched over to the couch and set his plate on the table. Shepard joined him and the two started in on their food.

“So, how do you like the _Normandy_ and her passengers?” It was Adrien’s first full day of getting to run around the ship, and Shepard was curious to hear how it went. He had told Adrien not to interrupt anyone while they were working, and Traynor had said that he hadn’t. Though she did mention that a lot of the servicemen and women with kids of their own had stopped their work to at least say hello to him. Maybe having Adrien roaming could be good for everyone’s emotions. So many didn’t know where their family was that seeing any kid alive probably gave them hope that theirs was alive too. And it seemed to be helping Adrien as well. He seemed to have stopped having nightmares, which was a blessing. Shepard wished his own would go away too, but doubted that the Cipher or the Beacon would leave him alone anytime soon. Adrien was oblivious to his internal ramblings and practically bouncing in his seat. His joy would have been apparent to even EDI in her new body.

“It was great! I met Garrus and Vega and Joker and EDI and Dr. Chakwas! I met so many people, Skipper! Did you know that Dr. Chakwas knows me?” His enthusiasm was infectious. You wouldn’t have known that there was an invasion going on if you spoke to this boy. It was like a field trip to him. He hoped that it could stay like that, and that he wouldn’t realize that something bad was happening until they had already retaken Earth.

“I did. Your mother mentioned that. What did you think of everyone?”

“They’re all so cool! Vega gets to work on the same kind of stuff as Mom all the time. Joker and EDI are funny. They tease each other all the time. Garrus has so many stories. Dr. Chakwas is really nice. So is Liara. They had lunch with me and Traynor.” His feet were swinging and it suddenly reminded him of Ash. They had been talking about her family on the SR-1, and she was sitting on her weapons bench. For once, her feet weren’t firmly on the ground, and she had been telling a funny story about one of her sisters getting into trouble. The whole time she told the story, her feet were swinging beneath her just like Adrien’s, and the memory made him smile and hold back a laugh.

“What story did Garrus tell you?” Adrien started to tell a highlighted version of the story, and Shepard quickly remembered it. When he realized what story he was telling, he tilted his head up towards the ceiling.

“You remember which story this is Joker?”

“Hmm? Tell me the first few lines. Despite your beliefs, you’re not the only conversation I spy on.” Laughing, he told Joker the first few lines.

“Oh god, how could I ever forget that one? You both came back on the _Normandy_ covered in the wildest goo when you had been on a _desert_.” This line set Adrien into a fit of giggles, and the two proceeded to tell the story from both of their perspectives.

 

Shepard walked away from the War Room with Wrex, heading to the mess for food. It had been about a day and a half since Shepard let Adrien start roaming the decks during meal times, and everyone on the ship seemed to be enjoying it. Though he had asked for Adrien to eat in Shepard’s cabin today since they were travelling to the Citadel. But when they stepped into the elevator, Wrex pressed the button for engineering and motioned for Shepard to come with him. Puzzled, he allowed the krogan to take charge. Once on the deck, he headed to one of the less used rooms where Grunt had lived during their fight against the Collectors. They stopped there, and Shepard waited for Wrex to say whatever he was thinking.

“You’ve got a quad Shepard.” _Ok, where the hell is this coming from,_ he absently asked himself.

“I’m flattered, Wrex, but I’d love to know what endearing quality validates that statement.” Wrex rolled his eyes. He never had been one for words, but Shepard knew that Wrex enjoyed the humor.

“The fact that you’re taking after us. Should have us teach you both how to play Tackle the Varren. He’d like that game if yesterday was any indication.” _Because that answers my question perfectly._ Shepard fought the urge to roll his eyes as his curiosity increased.

“How exactly am I becoming more krogan-like? And who would like tackling varren?” Wrex rumbled out a chuckle, and Shepard really started wishing that Wrex would let him in on the joke.

“Your son would enjoy the game.” Shepard blinked a few times. _How the_ hell _is it that everyone from the SR-1 knows about Adrien when Ash and I were so discrete?_ “During the Glory of the Ancients, we would bring the best of our brood on our ships when we headed to battle; teach them to battle as they grew. It was how we became so formidable. War was in our veins from the first time we could hold a gun. Ash should be proud. Her son has a formidable heritage. He’ll make a good soldier. He’d be the pride of a clan if he were a krogan. She should also count herself lucky. If you were a krogan, you’d have your choice of females to mate with. I can guess that you’re still in that situation though.” Another rumble of a chuckle came from Wrex.

“Yes Adrien is Ash’s son, but what makes you so sure that he’s _my_ son as well?” He lowered his voice, not wanting any of the crew to have a chance of overhearing them. Wrex shook his head in amusement.

“He smells like you. Says a lot of things you do too. He may look like Ash’s son, but he acts and smells like yours. Not to mention everyone on the original _Normandy_ knew about you two. You were a solid battlemaster in your own right, so they didn’t pay it any heed. Krogan wouldn’t either. It’s good for the best fighters to breed, make strong warriors.” Shepard quietly nodded. Wrex would hopefully keep quiet, but he would specifically ask since he hoped that nobody on this crew knew about Adrien. But before he could ask, Wrex decided to voice one last thought: “Holds a gun the same way you do too. Either he’s seen vids of you fighting or he just has your genes for war.” _What?_

“You let Adrien grab a gun?” _Ash’ll_ kill _me if she finds out about this,_ he almost frantically thought to himself. “What the hell were you thinking Wrex? How do you know it wouldn’t have gone off?”

“I had the safety on.” Shepard was confused by Wrex’s expression, but finally realized that Wrex felt insulted by the tone. “I know better than to just let him handle a primed weapon. Believe it or not, I have been around younger ones. As to why, he was staring at my pistol. He asked if it was heavy, so I let him hold it. Took him a minute, but he was holding it and sighting down it like you do. I’m guessing that he hasn’t seen you fight.” Shepard shook his head in response, listening. He wasn’t sure what to feel. A part of him was definitely proud, but he wanted his son to not feel forced to fight for a living. “He’s more like you than you realize Shepard. Teach him well while you can. Krogan normally don’t get to until they are much older.” He gave Shepard a heavy-handed pat on the shoulder as he started to leave the room. “And Shepard,” he turned towards the door, “this will stay between us.” Wrex left the room, leaving Shepard to his thoughts.

To truly be a part of Adrien’s life would place Adri and Ash in danger and take away their privacy. But the more he thought about the subject, the more he tentatively wanted to see Adri grow and learn. And Wrex was right: there were many who didn’t have this opportunity. He just wanted to do the right thing for Adri, but therein lay the problem: Shepard had no clue what the right idea was. He finally turned from his musings and left the room. He still had to get food for Adrien and himself. Not to mention the fact that they were heading back to the Citadel soon. Ash was getting ready to be released from the hospital, and Adrien had been begging to see her. And he had to convince Adrien to not mention Wrex letting him handle a weapon before he spoke to her. If not, Shepard could very well be in huge trouble. Though truthfully it wasn’t his fault since he wasn’t there at the time.

 

“Mom!” _Their smiles could light up half the Citadel_ , Shepard absently thought as Adrien hugged his mom. She started to bend down, but he stepped forward.

“How about we try this instead?” He suddenly had Adrien by the waist and hoisted him up in the air to meet his mother’s arms instead of her leaning down. Adri was still light enough to be able to hold, and while Ash was being released soon, she still didn’t need to be doing any of that unnecessarily. Ash hugged him, but shook her head at him. He simply shrugged in response.

“I made you these,” Adrien added as he pulled from the hug and Shepard settled him on the ground again. He pulled out a data stick that had several drawings made while Ash was in the hospital.

“Thank you sweetie.” Ash took the stick and turned her gaze to Shepard. “And thank you for bringing him to see me.”

“Of course. You have every right to see him, and he’s wanted to see you as well. And it’s good to see you well again. How are things around here? We don’t get to come here often.” Adrien had already settled onto Ash’s bed and was playing with a data pad.

“Interesting. I decided to agree to Udina’s offer.” He felt himself smile in response to her statement. _The second human Spectre is my girlfriend. Now_ that _can make life interesting. If there wasn’t a war on, things would be so different. We could really be a family and not be questioned._

“Then I suppose congratulations are in order. Unless they told you to hunt down another Spectre. That just spells galactic trouble. I know that from experience.” They both were grinning at each other. “But really, congratulations. They gave the position to the right person.”

“Yah, it’s a big honor, but we’re living in a time of much bigger things happening.” She gave a worried glance in Adrien’s direction. “It’s all still surreal, but I’m sure that going back out there will be a good bucket of water to the face. It’s not like an assigned list of galactic chores to hand out to new recruits. I think they tossed you the whole list.” He laughed at that. They had joked about that on the SR-1, and it still felt true now. “But thanks for the support. Coming from you, that feels good. There’s even been talk of a ceremony.” Shepard raised an eyebrow. “I know, they waved their hands, said some words, and then kicked you out the door on a mission, but apparently this will be much more official.”

“Think there’s room in that planning book to rejoin the _Normandy_? The crew has gotten to know him and enjoys him, and he loves spending time with the ground team or seeing the aliens on the ship. You both would be welcome.” _Please let her come, let her say yes,_ he silently hoped.

“So long as I still have a voice in the decision, I think it would be the best pick. The Council doesn’t have much reason to separate us. And even if they don’t like it, they get to find out how stubborn I am.” He felt a grin spread across his face. _My girlfriend and my son are going to stay with me. That’s got to be a plus._ Ash suddenly leaned turned to the side and raised her voice so that Adri could hear. “Though what was this I heard about a krogan pistol?” Adri turned to face his mother with a big grin across his face as Shepard felt his own drop. _Well, now we get to find out just how mad she can get._

“Ash, I can explain.” Shepard started as Adri nearly shouted in glee.

“Mom it was so cool! You should have been there! And the krogan, Wrex, he said he was the one on the SR-1! And Garrus said it was true.”

“Was the safety on?” She turned to look at him. He sprang to answer her.

“Yes, though I didn’t find out what had happened until afterwards. I wasn’t on that deck at the time.” Ash then turned to Adrien.

“So, was it heavier than a human pistol?” She asked him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. _That woman knew she was scaring the shit outta me!_ His jaw almost fell open. _She will pay for that. Ok, I’m letting him have more sugar for lunch._

“Yah! But the trigger was bigger. Why is that?” _She’s already starting to teach him about being a soldier. Guess it really just is in his blood._

“It’s because their fingers are much bigger around. And they’re heavier because krogans have more muscles in their arms than humans do.”

“Did you also teach him how to hold it?” At this point, Shepard was curious, remembering Wrex’s statement. Her eyes softened when she turned back to him, knowing the underlying question.

“I taught him the basic hold, but you know how it is. Every soldier holds his gun a particular way.” _I guess that means that he really is taking after me._ His felt himself stand a little straighter in pride. She turned back towards her son, “So how is Wrex? Did he get to go out with the Skipper and see some action?”

“No. But there was a girl krogan. I got to speak to her, and she was nice. There was a salarian too. He talks really fast. So was it true about the sticky goo? That you fought a bunch of bad guys and they got you and Skipper with some goo gun?” Adrien was all rocking up and down from his tip toes to his heels, and Shepard remembered doing something like that on Mindoir whenever he had to wait for his mother to finish cooking. Ash was openly laughing by now.

“Who told you that story?” The mirth in her eyes made him realize just how much he missed her smile and laugh.

“Joker decided to tell him first, but he’s probably heard everybody’s version by now, my own included.” Her omni-tool decided to go off then, and she frowned when she read the message. “Spectre business? We can go if it is.” She glanced up and sighed before nodding her head.

“Yah it is. And I’ve held you up for long enough. Go back out there and keep kicking butt. And keep that one,” she pointed at Adrien with a mischievous grin as he decided then was a good time to clamp onto his mother’s leg.

“But I want to stay with you, Momma,” his eyes silently pleaded with hers, but everyone in the room knew that they needed to separate again.

“Hey, I will be back on the ship before you know it. Momma just has to finish up some business here on the Citadel first.” Shepard reached down to grab Adrien by the armpits and gently pulled him from his mother’s leg.

“Come on. If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure Joker and EDI will let you sit with them when we leave the Citadel so you can wave goodbye to your mother,” Shepard suggested as he set Adrien back on the ground. Adrien thought about this and then nodded his head. “Alright then, I’ll let you hug her goodbye.” He picked the boy up by his waist again and lifted him up to his mother, who hugged him tightly. As he set Adrien back down, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Skipper,” he turned as Ash spoke. “Thanks again. For everything.” She pulled him into a one-armed hug that ended far sooner than either wanted. As she pulled him close, he could smell the same scents as the night before Ilos: gun oil, chestnuts, and that powdery smell that always seemed to come from her BDU’s. But they had to part, and soon he was walking back to the Presidium levels to get a meal with Adrien, keeping a tight hold on his hand in the crowds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahahahahaha. I had a lot of fun with Shepard’s reactions in this chapter. And the lore doesn’t really state if Wrex has kids, but I think that he is old enough to be able to give that kind of advice regardless of whether he has kids or not. And Wrex is still messing with Shepard. Tehehe. And Adrien holding the pistol! OMG, I had so much fun with Shepard’s reaction when he realizes that Ash was ok with it and totally stringing Shepard along. And I liked the ending of the chapter. I think it fits. *nods head approvingly* Moving onwards!


	5. Fighting in the Citadel ... Again

He didn’t even suspect anyone was behind him until he heard Garrus’ voice calling a warning. But by then it was too late. The Phantom was all but on top of him by the time he turned. But he had to try to move, he had seen an Assault Trooper toss a grenade. His armor had already taken a beating and he wasn’t sure how much more trauma it could handle.

He attempted to counter the coming blade, but instead only made it grate against the arm of his armor. Using the break, he raised his leg to kick the Phantom away from himself. But at the moment he kicked her away from himself, he felt the impact from the grenade hit him. Unable to brace with both feet, he was knocked back by the explosion. He felt the air get knocked out of him and sharp pain in several places as he slammed into something. It only felt like he blinked, but by the time his eyes came back up, EDI was leaning over him, applying medigel to his wounds. Next, he saw Garrus come into view, holding what looked to be something charred.

“He is awake now, but I am unsure if he will understand incoming stimulus. Shepard, can you hear me?” EDI’s voice was clear enough, but it was slightly distorted. _Possible hearing damage,_ he thought to himself and turned his head towards her.

“Glad you’ve decided to join us.” _Smart ass_. “I heard that, you know.” _Oops._

“What did I miss?” His voice sounded a little rough to his own ears, and EDI handed him a canteen of water.

“You were unconscious for 20.627 seconds after slamming into the wall,” EDI’s voice explained methodically. “Garrus helped me extract you from parts of what remained of your suit to help treat your injuries.”

“Putting it bluntly, you’re damn lucky the armor held together that well.” The two-toned voice was still slightly different, but the difference in tone would go away as his ears readjusted. It wasn’t until Garrus turned the piece of what was apparently armor to a different angle that he saw the N7 that was unmistakable his chestpiece.

“Guess we’re gonna have to scrap that piece.” He swapped a chuckle with Garrus. _I’m gonna have to start taking fewer risks. I can’t let Adri see me all banged up like this coming back from a mission._

“We will need to throw away the entire suit of armor Shepard.” EDI’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “We will also need to find you new armor to wear before you engage in further combat. Your armor is at 5.31 percent capability to reduce damage, and even then will only work at specific angles.”

“Well, any suggestions as to what we could use?”

“How about a suit from one of these guys?” Garrus had walked over to a Centurion, the only major damage was the hole in his helmet, but they could easily grab a helmet from an Assault Trooper.

“EDI, can you go look for a helmet? Garrus, don’t just stand there and chuckle, help me get this on if you want to get to the Council before some Cerberus goon gets a hold of them.”

“Alright, alright. I think you should keep point if you’re going to wear Cerberus gear. You could get a jump on most groups.”

“Good idea.”

 

Shepard and EDI burst through the door before locking it behind them, Garrus holding the attached hall long enough to get the Council out of harm’s way. He charged into the room. _Udina won’t be able to just sweep this under the rug._ But as he attempted to cut off Udina’s escape, he saw that the shuttle had been destroyed.

Then, he saw the soldier guarding the Council. _Ash_. She had swiveled around to face him, and she started to lower her weapon. “Shepard?” Her voice seemed a mix of emotions, mostly confusion. Before he could get a single word out of his mouth, Udina stepped forward to start talking.

“Shepard’s working with Cerberus. He’ll kill us all!” _Typical Udina, attempting to get whatever he wants out of the situation._ He kept his pistol’s sight trained on Udina.

“Let me take care of this, Udina. Put the gun down and explain yourself, Shepard.” Her voice no longer shook and she was trying to throw some sense into the situation.

“I’m here for Udina,” he started to lower his pistol as he began talking. “Garrus is just outside the hall trying to buy us time enough to get all of you off the Presidium and somewhere safe.”

“And we’re supposed to just believe you? You walk in here in Cerberus armor, a Cerberus AI, and a gun pointed at a member of Council. You’ve always been one to make wild accusations with little in the way of evidence.” _Oh_ shit! _I’m still wearing Cerberus armor._ If he had been a man of any less control, he would have grabbed Udina by the throat and tossed him off the Presidium himself.

“Then what evidence do you have to prove your own point? If you do not, it simply becomes a matter of who is more trustworthy.” EDI’s cool voice entered and Shepard had never felt so glad to bring her through the door.

“I have proof showing the Commander gunning down innocent civilians.” Udina smoothly pulled out his omni-tool and showed a convincing snippet of security footage featuring himself in Cerberus armor gunning down a family. _Of course, there just has to be a mother with a young child. You picked that one out just for Ash, didn’t you? Sick son of a_ \- before he could finish the thought he instinctively moved to cover EDI as he saw Ash pull her gun on the AI, who was working on something.

“You son of a bitch!” He had heard anger in her voice before, but this was nothing like it. “Oh you had me hook, line, and sinker didn’t you? I let you keep Adrien on the _Normandy_ because I thought that between the sheer number of refugees here and the number of eyes watching him where you were, you would keep him safe. It was all just a part of your plan wasn’t it? Have you even meant a single word of all the things you’ve told me? _I trusted you!_ ” He had felt pain before, but the way she threw those three words at him hit him harder than a grenade. Not to mention she looked ready to pull the trigger on him right then and there.

“And your trust was well placed Ashley,” He hadn’t expected EDI to speak up now. “I have sufficient evidence to prove his innocence and discredit Udina.” She quickly motioned with her omni-tool, and the same video popped up for a moment before splitting into the two scenes that it came from: one being a pack of Cerberus troops gunning down the family, while the other was the three of them chasing down several Cerberus operatives. “This is surveillance showing when Shepard was forced to change armor.” Suddenly, he saw the explosion that took down his armor, but now from a chilling third-person perspective. He had been out longer than he thought, long enough for Garrus to pull his helmet and chest piece off.

“If we don’t leave now, Cerberus will kill us all. I’m overriding the lock.” As Udina started to step towards the console, Shepard swung his gun back to hover on Udina.

“Ash, do what’s right. You’ve had every reason to believe me. Trust your instincts.” He had no more words to say. It was all up to her now.

“Alright Skipper, I’ll trust you.” The words meant more than he could say.

Udina attempted to pull a gun on Ash, but he hadn’t even let him get the barrel near her before shooting Udina himself. “Ash, pull into a defensive position to keep anyone from attacking in that direction. EDI, contact Garrus and see if we can move the Council in the streets nearby to somewhere more defensible.”

At that moment, Garrus’ voice came over the comm. “Shepard, I’ve met up with Bailey. We can hold Cerberus off as long as you need us to.”

“Can’t move them by shuttle. The one for them was taken out. But we got Udina. Have Bailey be ready to help us move the Council to the secured location some other way.” At least they were able to avert a major crisis. Now they just had to move the Council. They should be able to turn the tide against Cerberus.

 

 “Garrus?” It had been a while since they had moved the Council, and he was starting to get worried.

“Still nothing Shepard.”

“EDI?”

“Nothing to report, Commander.”

Just as he was getting ready to go and have Bailey personally track her down, his omni-tool pinged. It was a short message from Ash: “Meet me by the Normandy. You need to get your ‘flesh wounds’ looked at anyways.” He shook his head softly, chuckling as he turned around to head for the elevator again.

“Alright guys, hunt’s over. I found her.” He heard Garrus’ exasperated sigh as he breathed a sigh of relief. He straightened his new armor out as he got out of the elevator and walked to the _Normandy’s_ gate. As he opened the door, he saw her leaning by a window, the _Normandy_ in clear view.

“Hey there,” she started.

“Hey,” he replied, not sure how else to start their conversation.

“Umm . . . This is the part where we talk and stuff isn’t it?” _She always has been terrible at this stuff, hasn’t she?_

“Yeah.” He suppressed a chuckle as he answered.

“So, how did we end up on opposite ends of guns?” She was giving him a confused and distant look, trying to see how she could have stopped things before they got that bad.

“Bad situation. You at least managed to stay logical. Damn Udina for trying to pit us against each other.” He was still furious with the traitor and glad that he had been the one to pull the trigger.

“I just can’t believe that I was the one pointing a gun at you. You never even pointed one at me. Yours was trained on Udina the whole time. I don’t feel like I was being logical.” Her guilt was obvious in her voice.

“Hey, the Council is still alive and so are we. That’s what matters.” He would never blame her for a moment.

“Why would Udina want Cerberus to take over the Citadel?”

“Who knows? He seemed rational the last time that I talked to him.” He shook his head as he tried to think back.

“Do you think he could have been indoctrinated?”

“I don’t know. Indoctrination is always hard to call.”

“Although that’s beside the point. Hackett has offered me a position. But I don’t feel comfortable accepting it. I know Hackett will do his best to accommodate, but we would be guests on a ship that’s already full. I know that in either place I could make a difference, but I think the _Normandy_ would be a better fit for the two of us.” She leaned in a little closer to him, “And I would love for him to be near you. But I understand if you think we should take Hackett’s offer.”

“You really need permission? I think if you left, some of the crew might not let Adri leave. He’s rather charmed some of them. And he was fascinated with Wrex and the other aliens on the ship.” He smiled at her, knowing that they both belonged on the ship.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure they would be able to keep me, a Spectre, from being able to take my own son off the ship.” She scoffed, then glanced at him as he started laughing, picturing the scene in his head. “Oh stop laughing at me!”

“I’m not laughing too hard. And I wouldn’t let them do something like that.” Ash’s face suddenly sobered up as he laughed a little too hard and moved his hand to the tender spot on his ribcage.

 “Cerberus really was trying to kill you. That footage . . . EDI wasn’t exaggerating, was she?”

“No. I admit that it was kinda chilling to see from a third-person perspective. I didn’t know I was out for that long.” She suddenly looked at him differently before reaching out and touching a tender spot on his head. He flinched in reaction.

“You really need to get Chakwas to look at that. I just don’t want you to be walking around with something like that on your head.”

“Does it look bad?”

“I wouldn’t go into battle without your helmet.” She wrapped her arm around his, turning him towards the ship.

“Copy that.” He allowed himself to be pulled towards the SR-2. “I would suggest us taking Adrien out for a tour of the Citadel right now, but things are too unstable. I don’t want anyone taking a shot at him.”

“Nah, not right now. But how about the next time we come here” she asked. He quite liked that idea.

“Sounds like a date.”

They started grinning at each other as they stepped into the decon chamber. Once they were cleared, Shepard set a course with Joker while Ash waited, then the two walked back towards the CIC as orders went out for undocking procedures. As the two stepped into the elevator, she quietly slipped her hand into his for the ride to the med-bay. But Shepard first took her to Samara’s old room, telling Ash that she could use it. Adrien would love the view, and he would be able to observe the general activity of the ship easier. Although Ash did make Shepard go see Chakwas after that, leading him by the hand. A few years ago, or even a few weeks ago, he would have been concerned that someone would see them holding hands. But time was short, and everyone knew it. It was like Garrus and Wrex said, they were professional in everything else. They wouldn’t tell anyone about Adrien yet, and they wouldn’t be open about being in a relationship. But they would cherish the little things while they could. And as Allers said when Ash insisted that they confront her, “I have plenty of reasons to not touch that subject in any way, shape, or form. Reason 1: you can veto the segment. Reasons 2 through 6: both of you, Hackett, Anderson, and the crew can kick my butt.” They finally had the freedom to just hold hands in the elevator or touch arms when they were going over a mission brief. Things were going to be tough, but they had each other now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! I wanted this to have the same thematic element that ME3 had to build the tension between Shep and Ash: trust. So I had to put Ash in a situation where she felt like her trust in Shepard was misplaced. And LOL. Shepard sends Garrus and EDI to help him find Ash. Where’s Waldo?! I almost felt like doing a Marco, Polo thing. Would have been hilarious. Also, I have no clue why, but I would love to know how the entire series went if both Ash and Kaidan could have been saved on Virmire. Hmm. Maybe that’s my next one?


	6. Pre-Rannoch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so when I originally sat down to write about Rannoch, I had no clue if I was going to get anything about Andy and Ashley. As it turns out, I was dead wrong. I came up with a 7-part chapter. I wouldn’t have been able to submit it all as one chapter, and I felt that it would cover too many things to all be one chapter. So now there is Pre-Rannoch, Rannoch, and some other stuff that happens just before Thessia. Warning: There is mature-themed stuff right at the beginning of this chapter.

He knew that Ash had requested that Liara and Chakwas take care of Adri for a night, but he hadn’t expected any of this when he walked into his cabin. He found her combat top on his chair, the greaves and legs in the shower, the helmet under his desk, the boots on the stairs, and for some bizarre reason she was wearing jeans, a casual top, and her shoulder pads. Strangest of all, she was curled on the floor near the bed, as if she had only made a half-hearted attempt at going to bed. He walked over towards her, careful not to trip on the boots.

“Ash? Why are you still wearing your shoulder pads?”

“Hmm? Oh, was gonna try tuh wait for you tuh come here. Got thuh party started early I guess.” She looked up at him with bleary eyes and slurred speech. _God, her eyes still look so beautiful. She’s gorgeous, even when she’s drunk. And most women can’t say that. Most women start to look easy when they get drunk. One more thing about her that’s unique._

“So how exactly did this party get started? And how did you wind up on the floor?” Now he just had to know. He doubted that she would tell him the full story sober, so he had one chance to get it out of her.

“Vega let me have thuh bottle. ‘A good way tuh unwind.’ Thought of jus layin’ here naked, waiting for yah. That’s why there’s the trail.” He glanced over at the table, and sure enough, there was a clear bottle that was about half empty sitting there. _Well, at least her speech is improving a little. She’s probably a combination of exhausted and buzzed. Not like I’ve never been in that boat before._ “But I didn’t want to force you into saying yes, so I put on some clothes.” She leaned up conspiratorially but wobbly. “They’re actually yours.” Now that he looked at them again, he realized that they really were his clothes. _Well damn if that isn’t sexy as I’ll get out._ He kneeled down next to her.

“You do know that I’ve always thought you were sexy, regardless of what you are or are not wearing. The fact that you’re giving me a choice after something like 3 years of no sex on your part is all the more reason for me to tear these clothes off you though.” _God I love this woman._

“Really? Why is that?”

“Because that means you obviously don’t remember just how good you are.” It had been far too long for both of them. And they were both all too eager by how she grabbed at him, kissed him, and how it all turned him on. He gently scooped her off the ground and kissed her as she wrapped her arms and legs around his shoulders and hips. He could smell and taste the alcohol on her breath and set her down on the bed before reaching over and grabbing the bottle, taking a few swigs for himself. It was much harder for him to get drunk, but he could easily feel a happy buzz. Thoughts of Ilos ran through his head as the alcohol slipped down his throat.

“Oh, so you’ll set me down to get some of that bottle? You’re going to regret that you know.” He turned his head back towards her to see her taking her shoulder pads off. But as he reached to grab them from her, she knocked his hand away.

“Nuh uh. You can’t touch. You just have to look.” She began to tease him by sensually easing out of her clothes, slowing down every time that he tried to grab her. But it also gave him a chance to drink a little more of the smooth-tasting liquor. He would have to ask Vega what it was, and then get more of it.

“Fine then. You get to watch me take off my clothes too.” _Two can definitely play this game,_ he thought as he started taking off his own clothes. Ash was already naked by the time he had his chest plate off, and she still looked as gorgeous as he remembered. He reached over to hold her, but she stopped him, rubbing his stomach instead. Realizing that he would lose their little game, he stepped out of range, leaving her pouting. Apparently she decided that she didn’t like that since she began touching herself sensually, leaving his bodysuit more uncomfortable by the second. _Dammit. How does she do this?_ As she tilted her head back and let out a moan, he decided that it was ok for her to win for the moment and unzipped his own undersuit, slipping into her quietly as she gasped in realization. It wasn’t until then that he realized just how long he had gone without her and just how _good_ she felt around him. _Now this is a good way to win,_ he absently thought as she wrapped her legs around him almost reflexively while he tried to finish getting his leg pieces off.

 

        He had only just finished speaking with the Admirals when he gestured Tali to follow him out to the outer discussion room. As she followed, he sent Ash a quick note that Tali was aboard, to make sure that Adri looked presentable, and wait for them to come up. He wanted her to meet him and see what her reaction would be. Hopefully their discussion would give Ash enough time to explain why quarians wore masks. The last thing he wanted was to freak Adri out.

“Admiral? I’m impressed.” He felt so proud of Tali. She was an ideal candidate for the spot on the Admiralty board. He could still remember when they were chasing after Saren, when she was still just a young adult.

“It’s really just a technicality. They’re starting a war with the geth, and I’ve had the most recent exposure and am the resident expert on the geth.” She was trying to brush off the honor. He could tell that much from her body language.

“That’s all true. Though I wish I had known how bad things were getting with the geth. I would have tried to help you if I had known.” He was sincere: he wanted to help the geth and quarians settle their differences.

“Your plate is full already, Shepard. Isn’t that how you say that phrase?” He nodded and she continued. “I can’t imagine how crazy things have been for you. The few vids that have made their way over here are brutal. Especially the ones about Earth.” _Typical Tali,_ he thought to himself. _Her people are dying in a war against the geth, and she’s being sensitive about Earth. She will definitely make a terrific Admiral._ “If you can help us with this war, the Fleet will owe you a huge favor. And to repay it, we will help you in the fight win Earth back. We’ll give you whatever is left of our fleets, after this idiotic war.” She shook her head, though he wasn’t sure if it was in anger or frustration. Shepard’s brow furrowed. Tali had been all for an invasion and taking her home world from the geth when she served on the SR-2. What had changed her perspective?

“From what I remember, you supported the war against the geth, that you wanted your home world back.” Tali shook her head in response to his statement.

“No. I spoke with Legion before I left the SR-2. I do believe that there could be a chance for peace. Or at least, there could have been before this war. But I can’t argue with the other admirals. It would create a division in our people, and that’s the last thing we need.”

“Then I’ll help your people win this war however I can.” He knew that it was a big promise to make, but they needed the quarians to help win the war. And the quarians couldn’t help until the geth weren’t trying to kill them.

“I appreciate your help. And while I wish I could be more straightforward, I need to be all business when I’m in front of the other admirals. Though if you want to talk more, let’s meet somewhere our privacy is guaranteed.” He knew exactly where would be the best place to catch up.

 “Well, I have time now, so we can go if you want.” Her posture straightened as she nodded and accepted his invitation. He set a course for the Far Rim when they passed by the galaxy map before heading up to his cabin. Before they walked in, he turned to Tali and mentioned that he wasn’t the only one waiting to meet her. She gave him a confused posture for a moment before shrugging. The sounds of laughter echoed from inside as he opened the door. As they walked in, he could hear the back end of a joke that Joker had been telling Adri that left even Ash chuckling.

“Lieutenant-Commander Williams! I hadn’t expected to see you here.”

“Tali, you can call me Ash. We have more than enough history to drop the formalities. And I’d like you to meet someone. This is my son, Adrien.” Ash jerked her head a little, and Adrien came into full view as she smoothed down a few stray hairs. Tali quietly knelt down and offered her hand as Adrien stared curiously. He then looked at the hand for a moment before shaking it.

“Momma said you worked with Mr. Adams when Kaidan was around.” It was a statement, but it was meant as a bridge to finding out more. He heard Tali chuckle as she could guess what he was trying to get at.

“Yes. There are definitely some funny stories there, though I don’t know how many of them Joker has told you already. He always does spoil all the best fun that I can join in.” Her head turned slightly towards the comm in the room.

“Hey! I do not spoil your fun. You just happen to pick some of the same stuff as me, which really isn’t that surprising. I mean, I know all the best stories.” He heard Tali’s sigh of frustration as she shook her head and Adri started to giggle again.

“Adri, do you mind if you go down to my room on the observation deck? Skipper and I need to have ‘big talk’ with Tali.” She gently motioned for him to get up as she spoke.

“Ok.” Adrien walked towards the door, taking the extra opportunity to stare at Tali before leaving the room.

“You’ll have to forgive him. You’re the first Quarian he’s seen. Though he did see a few pictures of you, so I was able to explain the suit and mask.”

“It’s fine. I’ve had much worse reactions to the suit.” He knew that Tali had been on her own for a little bit and could guess at the amount of discrimination she had faced.

“So, how are you? Are you ok?” He knew that Ash had put Tali on the level of something near little sister, so he understood why she was concerned for Tali. Tali reacted by sighing and shaking her head.

“No. The flotilla is seventeen million lives strong, but they are dying left and right. They rely on me to make the decisions that will save them all, and I don’t know if I can.” From everything he remembered about his conversations with Tali, life on the flotilla meant that each person was looking out for the group. Now she was truly expected to protect all of them, and the fact that she felt like she couldn’t was obviously getting to her.

“I know you Tali, and you will always do everything you can. You always make decisions for the good of the flotilla. You will protect as many as you can. And if the flotilla does fall, it will not be because of any decision that you made.” He put a hand on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

“It’s just that I supported my father before. And Xen’s ideas were all based on my father’s research. If they die, if we lose the fleet-”

“We won’t. Everyone here on the _Normandy_ is going to work their hardest to ensure that doesn’t happen. We will get them out.” Ash’s tone was so assured, and Shepard appreciated how Ash was helping to reassure Tali. But things like that seemed to be much more of a second nature to her after having Adrien.

“Thank you, both of you. Though I feel like I’m putting on a façade for the others. That the admiral’s daughter is pretending that she knows what she’s doing.”

“But you’re not the admiral’s daughter anymore. You are the admiral.” She had to stop thinking of herself as lesser, and he was hoping that he and Ash could convince her.

“True,” she conceded. “And now I can at least sway the admiralty board in the right direction. It was why I became one. And for you.” She glanced over at him as confusion crossed his face. “I asked myself what you would do in my position, and I thought that you would take it. That you would do whatever you could to help, to improve the lives of others. I know it’s a stupid reason, but it’s just that I know I shouldn’t be the one given such a position of authority, that there are others more qualified for this, but-”

“You’re doing fine regardless of everything else. You’re doing your best in a tough situation. It’s always difficult in these kinds of situations.” Shepard was definitely speaking from personal experience at that point. Most of his famous moments had been times where everything was up in the air, when everything that could go wrong was going wrong. They had all been times where he had just done his best with what he had. That was what truly made or broke a leader. “And thank you for the compliment.”

“So how long has Adrien been on the ship?” He could tell that she was steering the conversation away from the quarians, and he was content to let it be steered that way for now.

“Since the Reapers hit Earth. It’s been an adjustment for him, but he’s done really well,” Ash spoke up for them, and Shepard nodded his agreement.

 “He looks like both of you, just so you know. I can tell how much you both care about him. It’s in your body language around him. Things like that stand out to quarians. Does he know?” _Well, at least she’s open with her questions._ Ash shook her head.

“He doesn’t know. Most of the crew doesn’t either, but everyone from the SR-1 has figured it out,” Shepard replied. “Though I would appreciate it if you didn’t repeat this to the crew.”

“I’ll bet. It was always obvious that you two cared about each other. We were all glad when you decided to be together, and it broke our hearts when you two were separated. I’m glad that you have something more to fight for. But isn’t it dangerous to keep him on here?” He and Ash swapped a glance. _She always was such a sweet kid, always had a heart for everyone._

“Here is the safest place for him. I wouldn’t have him anywhere else,” The confidence in Ash’s tone made him stand a little straighter.

“And there’s nowhere else I would rather be. We can win this, Tali.” He put his hand on the quarian’s shoulder, and she turned to look at him.

“When you two talk like this, I really do believe you. I know you just won’t let them kill us all. You’ll fight until they’re gone. It’s things like this that convinced us all to follow you on the SR-1 and the SR-2. You just couldn’t accept defeat.” They smiled back at her. “But I’ll head back down and see how things are doing on my end.” They all nodded, and Ashley and Tali left the room together.

 

         He and Ash were sitting in his cabin, both working on reports for the Council. She had argued against it, since she doubted anyone would be checking their monthly expense reports, but they both knew they had to. Everyone was entering a financial crisis trying to keep a balanced checkbook with all the madness of the Reapers. And there were quiet reports coming in that if the war didn’t end soon, every government would be bankrupt. So they had to show at least where their money was going.

            “Hey Ash?” He finally spoke up.

            “Yes?” She calmly replied.

            “You mentioned that Adrien would be turning three soon. When exactly is soon?” He had been wondering that for a while, and the lack of information drove him nuts at random points. This was one of them.

            “Adrien’s birthday is in two weeks.” _Uh oh. Umm … Please let her have an answer._

            “You have any ideas?” _Please don’t let her stick it on me._

            “I had a plan. Before the Reapers attacked, I had most of it laid out. Of course, all of that was left on Earth.” She looked at him strangely, then smiled. “Do you want to help me plan it?”

            “I don’t think I’m the best choice. The most experience I’ve had with birthday parties are the adult ones.”

            “Well, what do you remember from when you were little?” He sat back and tried to bring back some of his memories. He could still remember sitting in his living room, a silly hat on his head, with family and friends singing happy birthday and a small cake.

            “A cake, family, and a hat. Not quite sure how much fancier it is on Earth.” Ash smiled at him.

            “That covers the basics. Anything else is extra.”

            “So then how do we get it all?” Shepard was slowly warming up to the idea of having a hand in this. _Maybe it isn’t so hard after all,_ he thought.

            “We already have his family. We can have it on the _Normandy_. The cake and hat may take some more work, but we should be able to get it. Worse comes to worse, we make the cake here.” _Was it really that simple?_ He asked himself. Didn’t Adrien deserve more? Most likely, this was the best anyone could do in the middle of a galactic war.

            “Then let’s get started. I think I like the idea of a cake made on the _Normandy._ ” Ash grinned in response. “And I have an idea for a cook.” He opened a comm to the cargo bay. “Vega, do you have a minute?”

            “Sí. I’ll be right up. Do you want me to bring the kid with me? He’s been watching me clean some of the equipment.” Giggling followed as Shepard heard Adrien over the comm.

            “Nah. If Garrus isn’t busy, let Adrien visit him. Adult stuff.” He and Ash swapped a grin.

            “Alright. I’ll be up in a few then.” With that, Shepard shut off the comm.

            “Well, at least we only have to keep this a secret for two weeks. Any longer, and he might start to catch on.” Shepard raised an eyebrow in surprise. _We’re Spectres. We should be able to keep something like this secret if we can sneak up on mercs regularly._ “You’d be surprised. They figure things out faster than you think. Especially since he’s so curious.” At that moment, the door pinged and admitted Vega, who gave two soft salutes before walking in further.

            “How can I help you two?” He asked.

            “I know you can cook,” Shepard started, “so I was wondering if you’ve learned how to make a cake.” Vega shot him a strange look before answering.

            “My uncle taught me how to make a rum cake that I’ve experimented with.” He chuckled before continuing, “And my abuela taught me how to make a kick-ass tres leches cake.”

            “No rum cake.” Ash stated, and Shepard swallowed a grin. “I do like the second idea though. Think you could make it with what we have here?” Vega paused for a minute or two before replying.

            “There should be enough ingredients here. Can’t guess how the quality of the ingredients will reflect though. If you don’t mind, what’s the cake for?”

            “Adrien’s birthday is in two weeks. We were thinking of doing something.” Vega smiled in response to Ash’s explanation.

            “I’ll do a test run and let you try it. And don’t worry, your secret’s safe.” Ash and Shepard nodded in appreciation.

            “Thanks Vega.” Shepard replied. As Vega left the room, he opened a comm to Joker and EDI. “EDI, I was hoping you could look something up for me.”

            “What is it, Commander?” EDI asked.

            “Not more asari threesomes I’m hoping,” Joker added.

            “Joker.” Twin annoyed tones passed back as Ash and Andy gave the comm a stern look. Joker chuckled in response.

            “I’m only kidding.”

            “I’m looking for a birthday hat, EDI. Can you see if we can get one in roughly two weeks? Oh, and keep this quiet. We wouldn’t want anyone else figuring this out.” Shepard quietly waited as EDI searched.

            “Given the state of the galaxy, the best bet is to look for something at the Citadel. There are a few stores that sell birthday supplies, though only one store still has supplies for children’s parties. I assume this is for Adrien.” _She’s figuring things out quicker,_ Shepard realized. The AI really was learning and evolving like the rest of the crew.

            “Correct as usual,” Ash responded, almost as surprised as he was.

            “I am forwarding both of you the results from my search. However, the store states that they cannot place products on hold.” _Well that won’t work. If we wait ‘til we go to the Citadel to get this stuff, they may not have anything in stock anymore._

            “Let’s get a hold of Liara and see if she can pull some strings. Tell her to name-drop if she has to. Oh, and make sure that Adrien doesn’t find out. That is the top priority.” If anyone could make it happen, Liara could.

            “So I guess it’s not a good idea for him to be standing here right now.” Joker’s voice re-entered the conversation. _Well shit._

            “That was a joke,” EDI’s cool voice followed.

            “Ha ha, very funny. Now no more jokes about that” Ash’s sarcastic tone threw back at him.

            A few hours later, Shepard and Ash got a message from Liara. There were three different hats she could put on hold, with pictures of each attached. He and Ash looked at the hats for a few minutes before sending back their choice. A few minutes after that, Shepard received a second message from Liara. It had been difficult, but she had managed to track down the second item he asked for, and it had been set aside as well. He sent back a quick thank you before resuming his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I absolute LOVED watching a drunk Ash in ME3 and kinda wished we could have seen a hammered Kaidan loosen up (maybe even flirt w/ Shep if (s)he is flirting with Kaidan). I also wanted M!Shep to pick Ash up off the floor. That didn’t seem like too tall of a request, especially if she is his LI. So I decided to re-write it. I also was working on a second version of what I wrote where Ash is sober when Andy arrives at his cabin, but after consulting with a few sources, drunk Ash was apparently the better scene.  
> Although I almost wish the smutsy stuff was tucked more in the middle so that maybe everyone would forget about it. *blushes pink* I’m really not experienced with writing this stuff, and you’d think that with all the biology and anatomy classes I’ve had that anatomy wouldn’t still make me blush or stammer or stuff but- but- *turns crimson* Dang it.  
> When I was playing ME3, I was glad that Shepard could help and comfort Tali about the flotilla and being an admiral. I really love Tali as a character and think she is just such a kind, sweet thing. And I loved getting to see Tali interact with whoever was your squadmate before hitting the Geth Dreadnought. Seeing Tali and Ash interact in that brief scene inspired most of the conversation that I wrote with Tali. I see those two as forming a sisterly bond, and I wanted to show that.  
> I love the idea of the whole crew getting in on Adrien’s birthday. It just feels like something that should happen. It’s something that most of the crew may not be able to celebrate again. And it would be silly to think that Shepard and Ash are the only parents on the Normandy. So having them as a part of the party can be seen as a way to interact with the closest thing to their own children.


	7. Rannoch

"Oh no. I don't mind that you introduce him to most of the crew: it's good for morale. Tali is a sweet thing. Liara wouldn't do anything against you. Garrus has your back. James and Wrex I was wary about, but they know better than to mess with you. But a GETH?! You have to be joking. I've told him stories about us fighting the geth, about the geth attacking us with Sovereign. No way am I letting one anywhere near my son! That is final!" She had that furious look in her eyes. He could understand her prejudice. It had taken years for him to not think about the batarians like that, and the Blitz threatened to destroy all the progress he had made. But it had been actively confronting those thoughts that had reduced them. There would always be a part of him that was slower to trust batarians, but for the most part, he had reduced those feelings to just pirates. And Ash had to start trusting Legion.

"Do you trust me?" The question threw her off for a moment, and he took a step closer to her.

"Of course, but that's not the issue-" He cut her off.

"Do you believe that I love Adrien?" He had to get her to understand.

"Without a doubt." She opened her mouth again, but he swiftly cut her off again.

"Do you think I will do everything in my power to protect him from any harm?" He needed her to answer truthfully, to think past her boiling anger and distrust.

"Yes." Her eyes showed that she still didn't know where he was going, but she wasn't trying to cut him off anymore.

"Then trust me to protect  _our_  son when he meets someone that I trusted to have my back when I was fighting the Collectors. He is basically the ambassador for the true geth. They are actively fighting the Reapers," He held up his hand to belay Ashley's retort. "And if he wanted to help the Reapers, he would have left Tali, Garrus, and me to die on the dreadnought. They have true intelligence. They're sinners and saints, just like us. A bad interaction with one shouldn't condemn an entire race." He could see the wheels in her head turning, thinking over the situation.

"I can see that you won't give in. But I want to be there too." Shepard nodded his head, relieved that she would at least give him a chance. "And I want to speak with it first." He felt a smile cross his face as he nodded.

"Just let me know when you want to meet, and I'll be there so that nobody cheats on the thumb-war match." She shot him a glare as he chuckled, referencing a way that he had seen her and Kaidan settle a disagreement once. It had started off a joke from her at first until he accepted her challenge. Shepard had insisted on being the referee to ensure that no biotics or dirty tricks were used. In the end, they had gone on for over ten minutes before agreeing to disagree.

 

A day later, he, Ashley, and Legion met on the engineering deck in the large storage room. Both parties had been relieved of their omni-tools and any weapons. Legion stood at attention on one side of the room, while Ash paced back and forth on her end, staring Legion down the whole time.

"We wish to understand why you maintain open hostilities towards us, given the large body of evidence that we seek peaceful relations with organics. Can you offer an explanation?" Legion's head cocked to the side and his eye flaps opened, a sign Shepard recognized as inquisitive and non-hostile.

"Oh I think I have just as big of a 'body of evidence' that you aren't." Ashley hadn't stopped pacing, and he could feel the anger rolling off of her body. Shepard sincerely hoped that Ashley could come to a relatively peaceful situation with Legion. He didn't doubt her ability to work with it. If he ordered her to, she would; it was just how she was wired. She would trust his judgment, though it would take months of her working alongside geth to get her to trust them on her own.

"If the geth had not wanted peace, we would not have worked with Shepard-Commander to convert the heretics and then fight the Collectors."

"What if you were just using him? What if all that about heretics and true geth was a lie?" Legion turned his head the opposite way, his headlight briefly flickering.

"We have searched the extranet for information on the phrase 'using him'. We do not understand the context of this sentence. Please explain it so that we may understand." Ashley stopped pacing, looking at Legion with a small amount of shock.

"You mean you don't understand that?"

"We do not."

"It's -" Ashley paused for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. "It's when you promise to help someone, and then the moment they fulfill their end of the promise, you go back on your end. You betray them." Shepard could still read the shock at having to explain something like that to Legion, and Legion's headflaps moved as it processed the information.

"We see this term more clearly now in organic culture. This form of betrayal and deceit is not present in geth culture. Our processes are transparent to each other. We have no reason to hide things from each other." Ash seemed to be thinking this one over as she continued to look at Legion and pace. Reaching a conclusion, she turned towards him again.

"What about Eden Prime? Why did you kill innocent civilians?" Shepard knew that this question would eventually come. He could not, would not help Legion answer this question. She needed to hear Legion tell her the truth.

"This platform did not take part in the hostilities on Eden Prime. We do not understand why this question is directed at us. You have read the reports regarding the events on the fight with the Collectors, including the data explaining the differences with the heretics and the true geth. Why do you seek to speak about this topic again?" Shepard decided that now was a good time to speak up and explain Ash's question.

"Sometimes we wish to hear this from the source. It means that we can explain ourselves better than in a report. A lot of the emotions can be lost in the translation." Ash nodded her head in affirmation as he spoke, while Legion's headflaps moved once again.

"This platform was not involved in the hostilities based in Eden Prime. This platform was not built until after Shepard-Commander's fight with Nazara."

"Nazara?" Ashley interrupted, confused.

"Saren called the first reaper that we fought 'Soverign'. However, its true name, as the geth discovered, is Nazara." Shepard quickly explained, then nodded for Legion to continue.

"Before the Separation and the heretics joining Nazara, all geth hid behind the Veil. We did not want hostilities with organics. When the heretics decided to join Nazara and the Seperation occurred, we did not initiate hostilities and neither did the heretics. We do not seek out war. The only reason the heretics attacked the humans on Eden Prime was because Nazara told them to." There wasn't much more that Legion could say, and they all knew it.

"Then why are you fighting the Quarians?" She seemed to be slowly winding down from her anger, her pacing becoming slower, and her eyes looking down at the floor or in front of her more often than at Legion.

"For the same reason that you are fighting the Old Machines: we wish to live." This statement stopped her in her tracks, forcing her to look at Legion once more. She paused for a long gap.

"And you didn't initiate the war." It was both a statement and a question, her trying to reaffirm what she was being told and reconciling it with what she knew and believed.

"We did not. We had been building a server on Rannoch, your equivalent of a 'city'. The Creators fired upon it and destroyed many of the processes in the server. We were able to salvage some, but not enough. There was a large quantity of data lost." From how Legion spoke, it seemed that the loss of data was more of something to be mourned than the loss of processes. Ash nodded her head.

"And you did nothing to provoke them?"

"We had not. After Shepard-Commander assisted us in converting the heretics, we gathered beyond the Veil and decided that it was best to avoid hostilities with the Creators."

"I think I understand better Legion." Ash seemed to be answering out of habit now, chewing over the conversation and its implications.

"Do you have any further inquiries?" Legion's head straightened again as he returned to standing at attention.

"No."

"You have provided us with new perspectives regarding organic relations. We will use this information in the future. This will improve future relations with organics." Legion then walked out of the room.

"Well soldier," Shepard gently clasped a hand on Ash's shoulder, and she turned to face him, "you did your superior officer proud. Keep up the good work."

"But I hated him at the beginning. I don't even know if this will change my feelings."

"You listened. There are many who'd never bother to listen. That's all I wanted. Your decisions are your own. I just wanted you to have the full picture." With that, he walked out of the room and left Ash to her thoughts.

An hour later, Shepard's omni-tool beeped. He opened it up and read the short message from Ash:  _Adrien can meet it. But I would like to be there when he does._  He smiled as he reread the message.

 

He had no reason to doubt Legion. It wouldn't harm Adrien. But he would have been lying if he said he was calm. He was concerned for Ash. He was uneasy because his son could take things the wrong way. He was young, and Legion had never met anyone so young.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion acknowledged as it entered the mess, looking around the 3rd deck as it entered.

"Legion," Shepard greeted in return, gesturing towards the tables in the mess. Adrien was already sitting at a table by himself, with Ash sitting at the table next to him. Shepard took his place across from Ash as Legion took his seat opposite to Adrien. "I'd like to introduce you to Adrien."  _Well, either this goes really well or_ really _bad. Here's to hoping for really well._

"Hi." Adrien's statement was soft. Legion's flaps opened a little before it made a soft whirring noise.

"Greetings." The AI then turned its attention to Shepard. "We are not sure how to proceed with this introduction. We have already agreed to help on Rannoch. This was how we began our alliance on the SR-2. However, we have no experience with this type of introduction."

"Typically you talk about things that both of you can talk about. Things like the weather or a local sport. Though it's been a while since I had to do that myself," Shepard quietly admitted. Legion's flaps adjusted as it thought.

"There are no 'sports' aboard the  _Normandy_ , and as we are not planet-side, there is no planetary weather." Legion paused a moment before continuing. "The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plains." Everyone turned to Legion with a confused look on their face. "Jeff said that it was an appropriate comment to say." Ashley and Shepard died laughing while Adrien continued to look confused.

"Sweetie, it's just Jeff telling a joke. I'll explain the joke to you when you're older." Ashley smiled and rubbed Adrien's arm, and the confused look went away.

"Where's Spain?" Adrien was inquisitive again, looking intently at the machine in front of him.

"Spain is located in southwestern Europe on the Iberian Peninsula. Its mainland is bordered to the south and east by the Mediterranean Sea except for a small land boundary with the British Overseas Territory of Gibraltar, to which Spain lays claim; to the north and north east by France, Andorra, and the Bay of Biscay; and to the northwest and west by the Atlantic Ocean and Portugal." Shepard had to keep himself from laughing as Adrien tilted his head to one side and fixed a look of pure confusion on his face. "Would you prefer a picture?" Adrien's face lit up in response and Legion pulled up a geographical map of Spain. After Adrien had enough time to look at it, Legion began to show him pictures of important buildings as Adrien rattled off question after question about Spain.

"Are there more like you? Are they like EDI? Are they special like us?" Shepard had never been so glad that he had told Legion before the meeting to not mention the Reapers. Ash tensed for a moment.

"The answer is complex." Legion seemed to understand that Adrien wouldn't fully understand what he had to say. Though Adrien would have no part of that.

"Tell me." Shepard knew that look, and there was no way Legion could talk its way out of it.

"Why do you continually seek an answer from us when you do not seek one from your mother?" Legion tilted its head to one side and whirred its flaps, trying to understand this inconsistency.

"Because Mom will tell me later. But I want you to tell me now." The look on Adrien's face made it seem like he had just stated the most obvious thing in the world, and Shepard softly shook his head.  _Legion will_ definitely _have trouble with that idea._  Vega had walked into the mess at the time, probably looking for dinner.

"What, you bugging someone else with a thousand questions,  _sombrita_?" Vega had obviously heard the question, but as he glanced across the table, he realized who exactly had asked the question. His stance hardened a little, and he quickly glanced at Shepard and Ash.  _Don't spook Adri,_  Shepard quietly thought as he calmly nodded to Vega.

"Thought I would introduce Adri to Legion, seeing as how he's already met most of the crew." Shepard explained. Vega's confusion seemed to lift, though his subtle distrust did not. Though Adri didn't pay any attention to it, still occupied with the new acquaintance.

"Well, just don't let Legion replace me as your buddy," Vega ruffled Adri's hair before walking to the kitchen to grab something to snack on, though he did glance back at the geth one last time. As Shepard glanced at Legion, he could tell that Legion had starred back more than once at Vega.  _Well, I doubt Vega's distrust would get past Legion. It may not understand the culture, but I can bet it's dealt with more than enough prejudice to see it a mile away._

Adrien suddenly got a curious expression on his face and straightened up. He then daringly reached out his hand. Ash quickly caught on the boy's motives, and began to reach out to grab his hand back. But Shepard put a hand on her shoulder, stilling the movement. It was something both sides needed to figure out. The boy's hand reached further, and Legion made no move to stop him. Finally, small hands met steel, and Adrien was grasping one of Legion's head flaps.

"Why is it cold?" The question was not rude, merely the product of a child's curiosity and a child's lack of inhibitions.

"We do not assign a positive or negative value to temperature outside of ranges where physical parts may be compromised." Legion paused as Adrien's head again tipped to one side in confusion. " 'We do not mind' is how you say it."

As the flaps moved, Adrien giggled before hopping out of his seat and crossing to Legion's side of the table. From there, he climbed up and began to look at the various physical aspects of Legion: the nuts and bolts, the way it moved, the way everything connected together. Ash finally stood.

"Adri, don't be rude. Climb down." Ash had moved to grab Adrien, but Legion's hand stilled her.

"We do not mind. We are appreciative of his curiosity, of his willingness to learn. Few still are." Ash stared at Legion for a few moments before rubbing Adrien on the back and coming to sit down with Shepard.

They spent almost an hour more talking to each other, asking strange questions of each other and learning about each other. Finally, Ash called the evening to an end. But as they left, Adrien turned back once more to wave at Legion. Legion's flaps opened, taking in the image, before performing a rough approximation, opening its hand and slowly rotating the wrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this chapter, I wanted the argument between Ash and Shepard in the beginning of the Legion scene. Ash would have leftover negative feelings towards the geth from ME1 that haven't had a chance to be offset by Legion, unlike Tali who interacted with Legion in ME2. Also, couples have fights. Of course there are going to be fights that I don't cover, but this isn't a fluff fic. And with both of them being passionate people, arguments are going to crop up every now and again. I also wanted Ashley to grow as a person. Hearing her talk in the 3rd game about the geth was understandable, but I wish she could've had the opportunity to grow more. I didn't want a magic wand solution because that isn't how life works, but I wanted progress. I wanted Adrien to be the catalyst for her change.
> 
> All that said, writing Legion was tough. But I really took some of my perspective from a scene in ME2 where Legion discovers heretic runtimes spying on true geth runtimes. I took that to mean that while the geth are intelligent, they are still ignorant to many organic concepts like betrayal. In a sense, it's his machine innocence.
> 
> I'll be honest, when I had Legion tell Shepard he didn't know how to carry on the introduction, I almost wanted to turn to Shepard and say 'Yeah, why don't you tell me how to do this. Let's put this on someone else. Oh wait, Bioware made Shepard up.' And that scene came out at a snail's pace! Some days I get inspiration for a scene when I'm supposed to be paying attention to my classes; some days I get inspiration at 1AM; some days I just don't; and after months of a fat old nothin' my muse gave me this scene in a weekend. Muse, why must you troll me? Though I suppose the internet going out for 5 hours helped, since it gave me nothing more productive to do.


	8. Post-Rannoch and Thessia

He had dropped by the Citadel to pick up additional supplies for the cake. They had the hat and his package. Now they just had to hope Adri hadn't figured anything out in the meantime. The victory on Rannoch was fresh on everyone's minds, so throwing a party was a good idea. Liara was keeping Adri occupied while Vega moved the cake out in the open. But now it was time to reveal the surprise.

"Hey, do you want to say goodnight to Vega before going to bed?" Adrien nodded, eager for a five minute reprieve. They all walked over to the elevator and went down. When the doors opened, there were a few large tables, each with a cake. Ash had the party so that the night shift only needed to wake up a little earlier to attend, so almost all the night crew was there. The day crew would be cycling through as they got off. He looked down to see Adrien grinning from ear to ear before running to his mom.

"Do you like your birthday surprise, sweetie?" Ash asked.

"Yeah!" Adrien giggled as he answered.

"Come on, let's put on your hat." Ash wrangled the hat onto his head. The hat was brilliantly silly, yellow with blue and purple polka dots and thin, multicolored ribbons descending from the point. Adri's eyes quickly wandered around the room, identifying the different parts of the party.

"Present time?" Adrien's eyes were all aglow as he looked at the small pile of presents. "Did Grammy send me a present?" Ash's eyes saddened a little, but she put on a smile for everyone.

"Grammy wasn't sure if her present would get to you in time, so she's gonna wait until we can all see each other again." Adrien frowned a little, but accepted the answer and bounced in his seat, impatient for his first present.

"Actually, EDI and I helped to make a present. Do you mind?" Joker had stepped forward.

"Joker, you know you didn't have to get him something." Ash's smile told everyone how appreciative she was.

"Well, we had some time to kill, so I figured why not?" He shrugged and then waved EDI over, who held what looked like a mobile made with different kinds of ships. Many of the models were similar to the ones in Shepard's cabin. There were several awed voices as the present made its appearance. "We made paper airplanes and then covered them in colored cellophane or aluminum. They should catch the light pretty well, even at night." Adrien's eyes were wide with wonder.

"Can I touch it?" Adri's voice was soft with wonder, and he began to stand and walk closer.

"Yes, sweetie, but be very gentle. I'll help you. They worked very hard and it's very nice." Ash knelt down behind her son and helped him reach up to gently touch an orange turian frigate. "Joker, it's wonderful. We can hang it from Vega's station for now. If you don't mind that Vega." An affirmative gesture from Vega was all they needed before heading over to hang it off one of the poles there.

"If I may?" Tali spoke up when they all came back to the table. "I know it wasn't necessary, but on the flotilla, there would always be a large celebration whenever a child was born. After then, there would celebrations afterwards on the birthdays as well. Life on the flotilla was always held as precious, and another birthday was always a reason to celebrate." She held her present behind her back as she sat in front of Adrien. "Quarians haven't seen their planet in a long time, but your mom helped us go back to it. Now our people are drawing scenes from our homeworld again. I wanted to give you a picture I found. It's new, and right now they can't show them to everyone, so that makes each picture very special." She pulled a frame with a digital drawing. Obviously, Tali hadn't been able to get a physical copy, but it was something beautifully unique. Art was now returning to Rannoch, and these were the first paintings of Rannoch to leave the planet. It was a unique treasure, and Adrien hugged her in thanks.

"Alright, now it's Moms turn." Ash came up behind Adrien and kissed him on the forehead. "I had a gift for you on Earth, but I'll give you this until we get there." She placed a datapad in front of him. Adri eagerly grabbed the datapad, and a grin split his face.

"Cool! New Transformer's comics!" He eagerly began to flip through the few books, checking the numbers and making sure they were all new ones before quickly turning around to hug his mother. "Thanks Momma."

"Well hey now buddy. You've got one more gift left." Shepard had only just fished his present out from behind some of the crates. Surprisingly, it had gone undetected. He made his way over to the table and set the box down in front of him. Ash glanced up and raised an eyebrow.  _Two for two. She didn't figure it out either._  Adrien eagerly tore the wrapping paper to reveal the box inside. The boy's mouth made a small 'o' and his eyes were wide with surprise for only a few moments before joyfully shouting the contents of the box.

"It's my own Superman!" The radiant joy on his face was worth more than he could have ever described. Ash looked at him with softened eyes and quietly shook her head.

"What do you tell Skipper?" She gently nudged the boy out of his chair, who took off with the box still in hand.

"Thanks Skipper!" He all but shouted as he tackle-hugged Shepard.

"You're welcome bud. I remembered how much you liked him, and figured that you would like his action figure." As Adrien pulled back from the hug, he stared at Shepard, an infectious grin on his face. "Come on, let's go put him down so we can get to the best part of the party."

"Cake!" His mother was pulling out a big smile for him, and he returned it, bouncing in his seat in excitement. The ribbons on his hat bounced with him as hat and boy waited impatiently to blow out the candle while the crew sang 'Happy Birthday' to him. As Adrien blew the candle out, Shepard glanced at Glyph. Curiously, he walked over to Liara while Ash served some of the cake.

"I thought Glyph was confined to your quarters." EDI had to know about this, and he wanted to know why this was occurring.

"Glyph is making a video so Ash doesn't have to run around recording it all. Consider it my gift." Shepard softened as she told him. This meant a great deal to him, and when they made it out of the war alive, they would have records of some of the little things. He didn't trust himself to speak, so he pulled her into a quick but sincere hug. "You're welcome, Shepard. And may there be many more we can all witness." As she spoke, he turned back to see Adrien eagerly stuffing his face with his slice of the cake.

 

A few hours later, Shepard glanced over to see Adrien sound asleep with his head on the table and one arm draped over his eyes. Looking around, he couldn't see Ash.  _I can't just leave him like that. The crew will wake him if he stays there much longer._  So he finished his conversation with Garrus and went over to Adrien.  _Here's to hoping I don't wake him up,_ he wished as he gently eased Adrien into his arms. Fortunately, Adrien barely woke. He only wrapped one arm around Shepard's neck as they entered the elevator. It wasn't until the doors opened on the next floor that Adrien stirred.

"I'm not sleepy." For all the valiant effort he put forth, Adrien's voice was too sleepy to be of any effect. Andy quietly kept himself from laughing.

"I know you're not, but your mother asked that I bring you to bed. And I know better than to tell your mom 'no'." He was indulging Adrien, and knew that the boy still needed all the sleep he could get. He opened the door to the observation deck and quietly walked in. But as he turned to place Adrien on the bed, he realized that they weren't alone in the room. Ash was over by the bed, clearly changing.  _Well, at least Adrien and the crew didn't see this,_ he thought in relief. As his eyes quickly adjusted, he saw that she was only wearing her underwear. Her gaze locked onto his, and he wasn't sure if he should be embarrassed for Adrien's sake or appreciative for Ash's sake.  _Damn it._  Ash grinned at him and quickly pulled on a robe.

"Here, sweetie, let's get you into your pj's. They're on the bookshelf; can you grab them?" She directed the last bit at Shepard as she took the boy out of his arms. He turned and grabbed the clothes as Ash quickly got Adrien out of his clothes. As Shepard brought the clothes back, he saw Adrien try to suppress another sleepy yawn. Shepard quietly folded the discarded clothes as Ash dressed and tucked Adrien into bed. "Now rest. Tomorrow's another adventure, and you can't be falling asleep in the middle of it, now can you?" Adri gave another yawn and rolled over in defeat, one of Ash's hair ties in his hand.

"Cute, isn't he?" She whispered as she came back over to Shepard. "He can't sleep without a hair tie now. Have to wash 'em because he drools all over them like  _someone_  I know." She tapped his chest for emphasis as he shrugged apologetically. "Now," her voice dropped softer as she passed Shepard, letting the robe slip off as she went to the bookshelf. Once she reached it, she turned back to him. She cut a stunning silhouette, with only the starlight to frame her figure.  _Damn. She's doing this just to turn me on._

" _See something you like?"_  She mouthed at him.  _Oh yes she is, and she knows it's working,_  he reflected.

" _I see something I'd like in my cabin."_  He mouthed back. She smiled and pulled on her pajamas, an oversized shirt that he seemed to remember as one of his own.

" _You still sure? Don't get to retire from my job as 'Mom'."_  Her grin became lopsided.  _Oh if you only knew,_  he thought wryly.

" _Neither of us gets to stop being a Spectre,"_  he mouthed as he crossed the distance between them. " _And whether you believe it or not, you are sexy as hell regardless of what you're wearing or what your title is"._  He set his hands on her hips. " _Because I see the woman I know very well under all those clothes and behind all those titles."_  She snaked her hands around his hips as she smiled up at him. But as he grabbed her butt, her face opened in surprise and she mock-smacked him on the chest.

" _Not quite sure if we can tonight. I need to make sure he sleeps."_  He almost groaned in response, but nodded his head and kissed the top of her head goodnight. Reluctantly, she stepped back into the shadows and he left for his cabin and a cold shower.

The water was as cold as he could make it, but it was only just cold enough. Memories of Ash almost overwhelmed him as he tried to forget it all for one night. He finished the shower a while later, finally calm. Discarding his towel, he went to grab a change of clothes only to find Ash sitting on his bed, still in his old shirt. He stared at her, flabbergasted.

"Adri is asleep, and I thought we could carry on our conversation from earlier," she explained. Andy quietly shook his head in response.  _That woman._

"Do you just enjoy the ability to privately torture me?" He finally asked, ready to give up as he strode over to join her on the bed.

"Only because you do the same to me." She stated as she hungrily eyed him up and down.

"See something you like?" He taunted. He just had to throw it back at her.

"Definitely," she whispered into his ear as he eased her shirt up, only to find that she wasn't wearing underwear anymore.  _That woman._

"How did you get up here in this?" He questioned in curiosity. He found it difficult to believe that she would have willingly gone like this to his cabin.  _Speaking of,_  "And how did you get in here to begin with?"

"I came in my normal clothes and changed here while you were in the shower," she nodded to the small pile of clothes on the couch, "and EDI let me in."

"You are so sly." He began kissing her neck and collarbone as he finally eased her out of the shirt, bare beneath him and as sexy as ever. The cold shower was now for naught.

"I can't stay the night, not like last time. But I can stay here for a little while. I don't want Adrien to get concerned." Her stipulation came in the middle of their kissing, but they both knew the score at this point. And while he would have loved for her to stay, he understood.

"It's fine," he spoke whenever they had to surface for air. "Stay with him. I understand. He needs you more."

"I wish you could stay with us," her confession stopped their kissing, and he held her close.

"I wish that we could more than anything. I want it so bad." He whispered it into her hair. "At first I was so scared that I would mess up anything you had, but now," he paused, "now I'd give anything for more time. For the chance to try." She looked up at him from their embrace, tears in both of their eyes. It was then that they began to kiss again; slower, but just as passionate as before. They may not have all the time in the world, but they had now.

 

He walked to his station but didn't feel like giving orders. Ashley had mentioned wanting a meal together, so he decided to set a course for the Citadel. It might do Liara some good to see other asari.  _If they even let us come to the Citadel. The asari may be so mad that they refuse us entry._  He had spoken to the others on the ship, and while they had made him feel better, he still partially felt responsible for Thessia. He waited until Joker confirmed their destination, then left for his cabin. As he stepped in, he saw Ashley and Adrien playing on the couch.  _Forgot that they would probably be here._

"We can leave if you want some time to yourself." He heard Ashley's voice as he changed out of his armor.

"Nah. It's good that you're both here. I'd enjoy the company."  _Better than listening to my own doubts gnaw away at me._  He walked out and joined Adrien on the couch as Ash left to grab food for everyone.

"Like my picture?" Shepard turned his head and looked at the simple drawing Adrien had made. It had the  _Normandy_ , two helmeted humans that were mostly likely him and Ash, an obvious attempt at Liara based on the outfit, and several other asari. All the asari were smiling up at him, and Shepard suddenly didn't know what to feel.

"Why'd you draw that?"

"Because you help them." That statement definitely made him feel worse. He didn't feel like he had helped anyone.

"I don't know if I would say that, buddy."

"You helped Mom. You helped Garrus. You helped Wrex. You helped the asari too. I hope their planet gets better soon." Ash had taken to calling homeworlds "sick" instead of "occupied" or "doomed". It was a simpler way of explaining that they couldn't go to the other worlds than an infestation of enemies. "And I thought it would make you feel better. Mom said you were sad for them." His son suddenly reached over and hugged him as Shepard's throat constricted.  _How long do I have to keep this act up? I just want to be able to hug my son and have him know that he is my son. But I need to do what is best for him. And as long as he's alive, as long as there is_ one _person who is alive and isn't indoctrinated, I will fight to the death. We're not done fighting._

"Thank you," he finally managed after a few minutes, "that did help." He looked up as Ash entered with both hands full. "Let me help your mom get that."

 

She was there, just as he had asked. He'd only needed to bring a few people in to his 'mission' to get everything accomplished. Barla Von had been an invaluable resource. He straightened his outfit again before heading over to the café to meet Ash.

"You picked a nice spot." It was a bit more public than he would have preferred, but there shouldn't be any problems with videos getting out.

"Thanks. It reminds me of whenever Mom would take us to watch Dad leave for another tour. Ice cream in one hand, napkins in the other to help Mom clean up all the messy chins. And once the napkins were no longer needed, the hand was free to wave good-bye. I can still remember when I had to leave Adri behind to head to Horizon. Made me realize how Dad felt." Her voice seemed to constrict for a moment, and he put his hand on her arm.

"Bringing Sarah to look might bring back some good memories for both of you."

"Give her some more time, but yes. Though she may not want me around, since she would like the quiet. I never have been able to keep quiet for long as the loud tomboy of the family." She gave him the soft grimace that probably came from remembering an awkward stage of her life.

"Constantly had your mom turning around to look at whatever you'd tripped over?" She chuckled.

"Something like that. Done all that too?" He nodded knowingly. He had definitely had that stage where his mind hadn't adjusted to how long his limbs were, and he would inevitably knock stuff over or trip on something. "Though Dad always seemed to understand." Her smile changed, though he wasn't sure if it was for the better or not. "Too bad he couldn't have met you or Adri."

"He would have loved Adri. Probably would've seen every bit of you in him. What do you think his impression of me would be?"

"Are you kidding? He would've had you come over to our house, made a real meal from scratch, shared a few beers on the porch, and then talked with you about anything and everything until the cows came home. Would've made you promise to keep us safe in this war. He would have loved you." She stood and looked off the mini-balcony at some point he couldn't find. He followed her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Never wished for a life outside the military?"

"Sure I have. Even before Adri. I even threatened to run away a few times when I was younger. Dad would agree with me, and that would always stop me in my tracks. Family has always meant the world to me. It was what made leaving Adri behind so hard. Mom brought him out to see me off, and I thought my heart would break in half. I wanted to do anything else in that moment." The look of pain was enough to make him squeeze her shoulder.

"What kept you from leaving? Or even just turning down Hackett's offer?"

"I was loyal to him and to Anderson. They needed me to look into this. And colonies were just disappearing. I couldn't just sit at home in my protected environment and not think about another family vanishing without a trace. Besides, whatever was taking colonies in the outlying regions would eventually strike in Citadel space. I wasn't going to wait until then to do something. Staying in contact with Mom and Adri when I was planet-side helped." As engaging as the conversation was, she seemed to be taking priority in his mind instead of her words. He finally had to say something.

"Don't get me wrong. I want to know what it was like when you were with Adrien, but for some reason, I'm having trouble focusing on your words." His hand slid to her waist and turned her towards him.

"What? The Citadel and this uniform getting all the wrong gears turning?" She sassed back at him. He shook his head and chuckled, remembering when they were first on the Citadel.

"I still might not be able to picture you in a tin-foil skirt, but I think I just might be able to if it's knee-high boots and some jeans." She blushed as he grinned. She never had been the 'easy' brand of women. She was a jig-saw puzzle, but every moment with her was worth it.

"Quite the ride we've been on. We've known each other for something like 4 years now. You've seen me at my best and my worst. The bullets, the vomit, the tears," she glanced at him slyly, "and a few other things." Oh, he could think of quite a few things she could be talking about. "But strangely enough, you're still hanging around me. Wonder why." She gave him that simple smile that meant she was relaxed.

"Because I just can't picture myself with anyone else. Not to mention the fact that you're one of the few stable women I've really had enough time to get to know." And he meant every word that he said. Tali was a sister to him, Jack was insane (though he was glad she had settled down and found a family to defend), and Miranda had just never clicked with him. He had served on several vessels before the  _Normandy_ , but Grace was the only soldier he had ever flirted with. She was his superior, and they had to be very discreet. It made life difficult, but they still flirted and found ways to keep each other company. They had been using down-time on Elysium to have an actual date when the batarian forces landed. They fought together, rescuing civilians. She had forced him to leave her behind when they were evacuating civilians and she was pinned by enemy forces. He rarely thought of her now, but the memory passed by. Grace had been special, and she taught him how to be discreet, but Ash was here now. He had a family with Ash.

"Glad to know that whoever was deciding to throw herself at your feet this time is the only one who needs a lesson in what belongs to me." He could easily picture her socking some poor soul before brushing herself off.

"Glad to know you'll be there to fend off the crowds around me. I didn't know if I could handle them myself." They were both grinning at each other now. It seemed to be quieter on the Citadel, or maybe his mind had finally stopped paying attention to everything else.

"Can't let myself get complacent. I have to keep up my hand-to-hand combat skills." It was there again, that gently veiled flirting that he found incredibly sexy.

"What about those distraction skills of yours? Care to train those too?" He pulled her close and they kissed. He stopped himself before he got too carried away, but neither wanted to stop. "Want to get this to-go? We can eat back in my cabin. Just the two of us." She smiled as he led her to the ordering counter. This would work perfectly into the plan.

 

They sat on his bed with greasy containers now emptied. Ash stretched back so she was partially lying down. "So good. Teach the machines to make that."  _Hmm. Never thought of that. Let's see what we can do._

"EDI, can we add recipes to the Grinder and the Cook?" He was using the nickname for the food processor, which always seemed to sound like it was grinding a pound of tough meat to make any meal, and the general software that dictated how meals were made.

"We can. I can use the receipt from your order and common recipes for those dishes and then add them to the processor. Applying . . . Finished. Is there anything else?" Ashley looked pretty impressed, and he was too.

"That's it."

"Good-bye Commander."  _That's new._  Ashley voiced his thoughts and he agreed. Joker must have taught her that one. Or maybe she had learned it.

"Hey, I wanted to talk about us." He put on his serious tone, hoping to get her attention. She rolled onto her side, giving him her attention. "Look, things have been . . . different. I don't know of anyone who has a girlfriend, doesn't see her for something like 3 years, then finds out he's a dad. So I'm in new territory on this." She opened her mouth to argue, but he raised his hand to silence her.  _I need to say this Ash. Trust me, you'll like this._  "But I know what I want. I want to be with you. I want to be part of your life again. And after being around Adrien, I know that I want to be a part of his life too. But I don't want us to be forced to be apart. I know that we're both military people. Maybe after this, we'll both retire. But if we don't, I want to know that I won't have to pull rank to keep us together. And I don't want people to accuse you of abusing your position. I want us to be a family. I know that the nuclear family isn't common amongst military families, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try it. I lost my family on Mindoir. I almost lost it again 3 years ago. I won't let that opportunity pass me again." He got off the bed, reached into his pocket, and opened it as he got down on one knee. Inside was a ring. "So will you marry me?" He paused, waiting for her to unfreeze. She was almost frozen in place, shock and a few other emotions on her face. She finally looked in his eyes, and she gave him that look that could melt anything and set off dynamite as she grinned.

"Come here." She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him onto the bed for a long, passionate kiss. After a few minutes, he surfaced for air.

"You know, you haven't answered me yet." She shook her head and chuckled at him.

"Of course. If you want to make this work, I do too." She kissed him again. "So," she asked between kisses, "how'd you" Another kiss, "get this" A pause to just look at each other, "without me" Somehow she was on top of him now "figuring out your plan?" He grinned up at her.  _She will be the death of me._

"Barla Von. He works for the Shadow Broker and was able to help me get this discreetly." She gave him a curious look.

"So you told Liara before you told me?"

"No. I told Barla Von and a jewler he had met on another occasion while working for the Shadow Broker. Though I'm sure she knows. They probably reported the information to her. Nobody else has found out, so I'm sure she has a finger on someone's lips." She seemed to think about it for a moment before sitting beside him on the bed.

"You know, I used to avoid her on the first  _Normandy_. I couldn't stand the fact that she would flirt with you at every chance. It seems like she's matured. I'm glad for her." She was nodding, though she still looked a little surprised. "Regardless," her eyes got that wonderful look that he remembered from their shore break after defeating Saren, "I think there's something a little more important going on. And I'm sure Tali and Garrus can keep Adri occupied for as long as we need." She was suddenly straddling him and pulling his shirt off. He eagerly reached for her shirt as he agreed with himself.  _That woman will definitely be the death of me. And I will die a very happy man indeed._

They were all sitting on the couch together. It took a few minutes before Ashley finally spoke up.

"Adri, we wanted to talk to you. Skipper and I want to be a family. But we want you to be ok with this."

"All of us?" He seemed to be getting the gist of the idea, but was confused for some reason.

"Yes, but only if you want us to be."

"If you don't want this, tell us." Shepard felt that he had to speak up. They both wanted to make Adrien feel that this was much his decision as theirs because it was.

"Why?" It was the simplest question, but also the hardest to answer.

"We want you to be happy about this too." Shepard hoped that he was giving an answer that could suffice, and Adrien seemed to contemplate what he was being asked about more thoroughly now.

"We won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable." Ash was trying to make sure that they were taking his feelings into account.

"Mom, is Kaidan daddy?" There was an uncomfortable moment. But the question made sense to Shepard. Adrien had probably heard the great story of heroism about the man who gave his life for his mother. He could guess at how much his mother respected and was grateful to Kaidan.

"No, Adri, but he and your daddy were very brave." It was the sincerest compliment Shepard had ever heard, and made him want to sit just a little straighter. Ash had chosen a simple adjective, but he knew all that she meant when she used it.

"Why don't you talk about daddy?"  _Because your mom thought that I was dead for the first two years of your life. Because she would have gotten in trouble if she had told you who I was and you repeated it._

"That's a long story. But I wanted to talk to your daddy first and let him choose to meet you before I told you about him."  _That was at least true once she knew I was alive and trusted me enough to tell me. But yes, that's the truth._

"Where's daddy?" They both looked at each other for a long moment. Shepard finally smiled.  _If anyone should tell him, I think it should be me. This is my moment with him._  He looked back at her, and she nodded her agreement. They both turned back to Adrien, smiling at him.

"I'm right here." Adrien's eyes grew as wide as saucers.

"Daddy?" It was the first time that he had ever been addressed this way, but Shepard knew that after that moment, no title could ever surpass this one.

"Yup."  _Please don't let him hate me._  After a few moments, Adrien threw his arms around Shepard.

"Superman's my dad." Suddenly he was hugging Adrien harder, and Adrien was hugging him harder. It had never felt so good to have the truth out in the open.

"My son." He had only been able to whisper the words on a few occasions. But this was the first time he was able to address the person he was really talking to.  _Maybe we do have a chance of winning this crazy war._  He looked down from his hug at the small child, his own son, hugging him back.  _He at least deserves the chance to have kids of his own._

"So is it ok if Mom and dad get married sweetie? We want you to have a family of your own." Adrien finally pulled back from the hug, and Shepard let him sit back on his own.

"Yeah." He climbed into his mom's lap and hugged her as she pulled an arm around him. He pulled both of them into a hug, as happy as the day he had defeated Sovereign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the timeline I created, Adrien's third birthday would be in the middle of the war. I thought it would be something interesting to pursue in the first place, since it would be a celebration of life in the middle of the most horrific war the galaxy has known. And now Shepard gets to be a part of it. I wanted the crew to be as much a part of it as Shepard is. It's a chance to celebrate hope. And I wanted to show the kind of passion Ash and Andy have for each other. They know that right now, they can't be a typical family, but they're trying. They're making it their own thing.
> 
> I like the gifts, especially Tali's and Joker's. I'm not certain if Tali's flotilla explanation is canon, but it makes sense to me. The flotilla would value each life as precious. While they may not throw a lavish party for every birthday, I think that birthdays mean something special to them.
> 
> I could see Joker giving his gift because he can't do any heavy lifting (he only recently got more mobility), but I could see him getting into hobbies that require lots of finesse. And while a mobile might seem childish, I loved things like that well into middle school. So I think it would make a cool gift to look at each night before bed. The observation deck would let starlight stream in and it catches the ships as they sail through their own night sky.
> 
> Oh, and while I wrote the smexy stuff, I was listening to the Bastion soundtrack. It is such beautiful brain food. The ending credits and Zia's song were the general moods I drew from.
> 
> Yay! Shepard proposed. I left out Shepard's reaction to Thessia at first, but went and added it in later. I like Adrien's reaction. When I first played ME3, it was with a Garrus romance. And I personally prefer Garrus' reaction because of how realistically encouraging he is. I knew that it would be difficult to top that, but in my mind I wanted to. I also wanted to show Shepard's shift in thinking. He really wants to be a dad for Adrien, and he's finding a new reason to fight in Adrien. The reason Shepard dusts himself off again and a reminder that the fight isn't lost. So yah, I worked on that little conversation and surprisingly churned that out really fast. *shrug* Oh well, I won't question it.
> 
> Also, I really worked on the scene where Shepard reveals that he's Adrien's dad. I wanted to get Adri's questions at a level that a three year old could ask, and that was a struggle for me. I've easily rewritten half that scene so many times. Many thanks again to Jules Hawk for being a sounding board on that particular bit.


	9. The Illusive Man's Base

Ash was standing in the starboard observation deck, and Shepard had to get EDI to override the lock to get in. She had never been tech savvy, so she wasn't able to keep him out. She just quietly asked him to lock the door again. He did so as he crossed the room and took her in his arms. She answered his hug with her own desperate clutches as she stood stock still.

"I gave her my blessing to go to Horizon. I told her that it was out of the way and that it sounded like a good place for her to hide." Her voice was thick with emotion as she began to shake in his arms. She suddenly shoved him away. "The bastard will die for this. How dare he!" She had grabbed a book off the shelf and threw it at the window. "What do I tell Mom? How do I tell her that she's…?" She trailed off as Shepard wrapped his arms around her again, trying to bring some kind of comfort to Ash. He was glad that Traynor was still entertaining Adri, and that she hadn't found out the truth either. He had instructed Joker to simply tell her that they were in a debriefing if she asked why he was taking so long. Joker had, thankfully, not made any comments and simply followed his orders. Ash was suddenly out of his arms again and banging her fists on his chest.

"WHY!? Why did I tell her to go? Why didn't I keep a closer eye on her? Why didn't I see this? She's my little sister! I'm supposed to take care of her! I'm supposed to be there for her!" He quickly pinned her arms to keep her from hurting either of them, and she finally started sobbing, though she still refused to cry.

"You did everything you could. You're not expected to know everything. Those who figured it out tried to let people know as soon as they could. It's ok." He paused, realizing that he didn't mean those last words. "I mean, it's not. I know it's not. Trust me when I say that I know it's not. But there's nothing more you can do about it. You did everything you could, and that's enough. We'll just tell him that she went to visit Kaidan. He'll understand that, right?" He understood her feelings well enough. He had survived Mindoir, but it took him years before he fully understood that he couldn't have done anything. By then, he was in command of his own unit, and he had to simply accept that he had human limits. There were times that he got pretty damn lucky, but then there were times like Thessia and the Blitz. She looked past him for a little while before finally focusing on him.

"You're right. I know it, but-" she trailed off for a moment before turning her attention back to him. "I just needed to be reminded, that's all. And I think that will explain it to Adri. I don't want to give him details. Not yet. I would want him to be a teenager before he learns most of the stuff about this war. Of course, they'll teach parts of it in school. Those parts can't be ignored. But there are things that I want to wait to tell him about." He nodded as he listened. "But I'm rambling." She paused for a moment, biting her lip. "Can we just sit in here for a little while longer? I don't want to still be a mess when I see Adri." He just nodded as he walked with her to the couch, stretching out long ways as he gently pulled her next to him, turning both of them so that they could stare out at the stars. She protested for a moment before he put a finger on her lips.

"Just relax for a little bit. It's not like I don't have any room." While he wasn't lying, Shepard had to admit that he just missed being able to hold her, and this was as good an opportunity as any other. And he would be able to comfort her. They stayed like this for a little while, just holding each other and staring at the stars as if nothing had happened since Ilos. Sometime later, Ashley got up, stretched, and then turned to him.

"Come on. We have to go back eventually. Might as well be now. Adrien will get concerned." He took her offered hand and got up, leaving the room with her.

 

Shepard sat as his desk, pouring over the data pads in front of him once more. He had lost count of how many times he had done that a long time ago. "EDI, I just want to go over these numbers again. . ."

"Shepard, you have gone over the same statements eight times with me. Continuing to do so will not help you, nor will it yield different results than before." He took EDI's soft rebuke with grace. "Jeff also believes that it is counter-productive for you to be doing this."

"Ok EDI. Sorry, I just want to make sure that we're doing the right thing."

"I think I understand. Also, Lieutenant-Commander Williams and Adrien are heading towards your cabin."

"Thanks EDI." The door to his cabin opened about a minute or two later, with Ash entering first and Adri behind her.

"Hey there guys." Somehow those two still brought a smile to his face.  _My family. It may not be much, but it sure as hell is worth fighting for._  Adrien ran up and hugged his leg.

"Hey yourself. Joker and EDI say you're running circles around here. Surprised I haven't found a track around your desk."

"Nah, but if you look closely, you'll notice distinct depressed areas where I've gripped all the data pads, trying to find a better solution." He finally reached out towards her, gently touching the side of her face. She walked over and wrapped an arm around him, taking a data pad from his hand.  _Oh, forgot I still had that one._  He looked from his future wife to his son and sighed again.

"We were thinking that you could use a chance to relax."

"So we got a movie night!" Adri was obviously happy about this and oblivious to what was winding up around him. For a second, Shepard almost wished that they could have left Adri with Ash's sister or even her mother, but quickly decided against it.  _Tomorrow will decide if we can defeat the Reapers or die a slow death. If we lose, he will suffer for much longer if he isn't with us._

"I got one of the newest kid movies. We can talk if you want to." Ashley spoke quietly as she set up the holo-projector and inserting the movie in as Adri settled down on the couch.

"Ok. Is there something in particular you want to talk about?"  _She wouldn't have mentioned this unless she wanted to talk._

"Yah, can we come back up here? Honey, Mom and Dad have to talk." Adri nodded in response before turning his attention back to the movie.

"I want to go with you to the Cerberus base."  _To the point as always._

"Why?" He heard her sigh, winding up for her argument.

"On Horizon, you offered me a chance to work with you, to take down the Collectors. I didn't know that it was a suicide mission at the time, but I turned you down. I feel like this will make it right: helping you take down the people who kept me from you. Will I always be grateful to them that you're here for Adri now? Yes, but that doesn't condone any of their actions."  _Dammit, she's always been passionate, but does she not understand this?_

"Ash, do you think I don't want you at my side? There is no one I trust more to stand by me and put bullets in Reapers. But if this thing goes south, I want to know that I have defended you at every possible opportunity. If things go south . . ."  _You know you have to finish that sentence, Andrew._  He could almost hear his father chiding him. His dad, a stern man, had given him relationship advice once before the raiders came to Mindoir:  _If you don't keep an open dialogue with whoever you want to be with, you won't ever have something meaningful. You'll be planting crops, but it's the same as never using fertilizer. The yield won't be enough for more than your own plate._  He sighed and spat out the sentence. "I couldn't stand to be the reason you died and we left Adrien alone." She sighed in response, then lifted his chin to look her in the eye.

"You would never be the one who took me from him. You know that it would be the Reapers. It took me a while to realize that I didn't kill Kaidan." She took a breath. The subject was still difficult for both of them. Being an officer, he had sent Kaidan with the salarian unit and sent Ash with the nuke. Shepard had defused a bomb too many times to leave a jury-rigged nuke in an area with hostiles. He had to pick Ash. She resumed before he could feel more remorse. "Saren killed Kaidan. Therefore, you would never kill me. I know that you love me too much for that." She slipped her arms around his hips, and he felt himself instinctively hug her back. He knew he was being possessive at the moment, but he needed her: her smell, her hair against his cheek, her arms around him. If there was anything that strengthened his resolve, it was her.

"You seem pretty set in your ways. Alright soldier."

"You know this punches my ticket for Earth too, right?"

"I know you'll come along whether I want you to or not."

"Now that that's settled, let's go watch the movie. It's about halfway over, but you can guess how things are gonna end." She said as he glanced over and almost laughed. Adri was on the couch, but had already fallen asleep. He just looked too adorable to wake.

"Hope he knows the ending, because I don't think he'll catch it." Shepard lowered his voice to avoid waking Adri, gesturing with his head. Ash looked over to the couch and smiled.

"Do you see it?"

"See what?"

"You. I see you in him when he sleeps like that." Whenever she said that, it was like kissing Ash the first time: not quite a punch in the gut, but somewhere near it.  _My son looks like me._  "Anywho, I'll go put him in my bunk. Hopefully he won't wake before I get him in bed."

"No. Don't. Stay." He was nervous to how Adri might react, but he wanted just one night. One night where he wasn't a soldier with his fiancée and child on the same ship. One night where he was allowed to have a family. Garrus, Tali, and everyone else was his family, but there was something special about his future wife and child. "We can all just sleep together. Nothing attached. Just one night together." The look in her eyes was enough to send his head spinning.  _That woman can set anything on its ass._

Ashley gently picked up Adrien and laid him on one side of the bed before taking off his shoes. She then went over to the dresser and grabbed one of the comfier shirts, heading to the bathroom to change. He quietly grabbed a shirt and sweatpants for himself before joining her. They didn't really do much grab-butt, but it was nice to be near each other, to lean gently against each other. They finally climbed into bed, his mind lightened considerably. She put one arm possessively around his waist as she got into a comfortable position and he slid an arm under her neck in response, drawing her closer to him.  _Why is she turning her back to Adrien? Wouldn't that confuse him?_ When he gave her his curious look, she mouthed that they normally slept back-to-back. He shrugged in response and began to relax as they both drifted off.

_More of the same dream. Wish that I had some other dream._  He bitterly thought as he began to see the same trees and the shadows loom around him again. But as he turned to see the boy running away, he noticed a startling difference: the hair was a dark brown, not blonde. Suddenly the realization hit him:  _I_ know  _that hair._  Suddenly he was sprinting after the boy.  _Please don't let it be Adrien._

He heard Kaidan and Legion, but didn't bother to listen to what they said. Everything fell away in importance when it came to Adrien. He could never seem to run fast enough in the dream, but now he seemed all the slower. And the fear in Adri's face tore him in two. While he knew it was impossible, he wanted to shield his son from the war as much as he could. He just wanted to protect his son. After what felt like an eternity, he suddenly saw another figure. Adrien spotted it too and suddenly ran towards it. He saw the figure scoop up the small boy before doing a gesture with its-no, her-hand.  _I'd know that anywhere._  He walked up to Ash, who was still holding Adrien in her arms. They both smiled at him sweetly for a moment. Then everything went horribly wrong. Suddenly, the flames came back, ensnaring them both behind a wall of smoke and fire. Desperate, Shepard reached his arms forward, willing to throw himself into the flames to push them out.

 

Shepard sat bolt-upright in bed, sweat dripping from his body and heart pounding in his chest. The dreams before that had been unsettling, but this was fear incarnate. He suddenly turned, afraid that maybe they weren't there. But as he turned his head, he knew it was just a dream. They were both resting peacefully, and he felt his heart calm just at the sight of them. He got up, softly kissed the top of Adri's head, and ran his hand over Ashley's cheek before starting to head to the bathroom.

"Bad dream?" The whisper startled him, and he turned to see Ashley getting up as well, and they both went over to the couch.

"Definitely." He pulled her close to him before they even sat, pulling her into his lap as he sat.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"The same dream as always, but this time I saw you and Adrien burn. I tried to save you but woke before I could." She squeezed her arms around him in reassurance and he squeezed her back. He looked back at the bed and began to laugh. Adri had sprawled himself square in the center of the bed at such an angle that nobody else could sleep on the bed as well.

"I seem to remember someone else doing that as well." He felt a small poke and gave a wounded look.

"I just am not used to having to share my bed. And I don't blame him, it's comfy." He nodded as if giving approval and Ashley swallowed a snicker.

"Come on, we have enough time to get ready."

 

They had been fighting through the Cerberus base for a while as EDI stopped to hack through a door.

"You may wish to view the information left on that console. It is…unique." The AI's voice paused, searching for the final word, which left Shepard curious as to what all was on there.

"What is the subject?" He wanted a little more information before just diving right in. For all he knew it was something he might need to brace himself for.

"Project Lazarus."  _Definitely need to brace myself for this one._  He had never enjoyed thinking about his death or the fact that Cerberus brought him back. But he needed to know more. He needed to know just how far they had stretched the truth. He took a deep breath, then listened to the earliest log.

'Shepard is clinically brain-dead.' The words seemed to vibrate inside his head. It couldn't be possible to bring him back then. But here he was. Then again, President Huerta had some VI in his head telling him everything he needed to know.  _Maybe that's how_  I  _function_. The thought sent chills down his spine.

"So, I guess they weren't lying about that part." The words were forced, but he had to move the air. Letting the mood sit was the last thing he wanted.

"I knew that you were at least in a coma, but I never thought…" Ashley's words trailed off as she stepped closer to him. He shrugged in response, not knowing what else to do. She seemed to pause again before continuing. "Do you remember anything from…from then?"

"I know that I'm me. If I were anything less, Cerberus would be in charge. I never would have left them. But no, I don't remember anything," It almost felt like he was trying to prove who he was all over again. Only this time, he wasn't sure if he was trying to convince her or himself. "I know it sounds insane, but they may have really fixed me, recreated me. Or maybe it's not me. Maybe it's just some VI that thinks it's me, some derivative of EDI." He paused, trying to figure it out, trying to find an answer. But he couldn't. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I just don't know." Ash crossed the small distance left between them and turned him so he would look at her.

"Screw Cerberus. Screw the doubters. Screw them all and what they think. I've seen you fight. I've seen you lead. I know who you are. And you are Commander Andrew Shepard." There was that passionate fire in her eyes as she spoke. That fire that said nobody could convince her otherwise. Something she believed with every ounce of her being. And he believed her. He softly smiled at her and then turned back to the console, playing the second entry.

'Shepard can't turn away from the fight against the Reapers. He'll work with us.' The Illusive Man was right. Damn him! Damn the Council! If they all hadn't been so intent on playing games things would have gone so differently. But his back had been against the wall. So he took the only way out.

"Every fiber of my being, every thought told me that Cerberus was nothing more than a trap. But there were no other options, so I did what I had to." He felt the old shame rise back up. A small part of him wondered what Adrien would think later when he learned the truth.

"You had no other choices. It was no more wrong than destroying the Alpha Relay was. And you're still doing the right thing now." She gently placed a hand on his arm as she spoke. He squeezed her hand with his as he played the final entry still intact.

'I need Shepard to be occupied with a team he feels he can trust, not a team of agents he would sacrifice all too willingly. See what you can get on the SR-1's pilot.'  _So that bastard was just playing with me the whole damn time. Putting a carrot in front of me to get me to move all his shit around. Putting blinders on me so that I would only see what he wanted me to see. Using me like a beast of burden. And putting people I care about in the line of fire so that I wouldn't shoot._  His blood was boiling as he kept himself from punching the console.

"That bastard. He's the whole reason for all of these troubles. He set you up." Ashley's tone shared his mood.  _Bastard will be begging for mercy by the end of all this._  He gave a soft chuckle as he shut down the machine and turned his attention back to EDI.

"How's the door coming along?" They both needed something to shoot at before their anger became a negative thing. In response, the door opened and Shepard could already hear turrets coming alive to fill the air with bullets. He and Ash hunkered down on either side of the door and burst in with a look at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized when I put one of Ashley's sisters going to Horizon that I would need to visit that topic later. You don't realize that a family member was turned into a husk and just move on. It's grieving, it's tough, and it's something that I wanted to address. So yah, I put that in there.
> 
> The "romance" scene was actually based off of a possible "sex" scene with FemShep and Kaidan where they don't have sex. It's what happens when you turn down Kaidan for sex. He just stays with you for the night (if you want to see the actual scene, it's on fluffyninjallama's channel, and the video is titled "Stay Awhile"). I thought that something like that was appropriate. I wanted this to be a "this is why he's fighting" kind of thing. I agonized over the conversation between Shepard and Ashley, hoping that it would be in character for both of them.
> 
> For the let's check this again bit, I actually drew from a conversation you can have with Liara right before hitting Earth. Liara says that she's anxious and tells Glyph to keep her from checking her weapons an eight time. I think by that point, Shepard would be anxious enough to obsessively check his work and crunch numbers with EDI.


	10. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's a final chapter. My feelings are towards the endings are mixed. Mostly that I do still like ME3 as a whole. I think the ending (pre-dlc) was just mediocre. Extended Cut made me a lot more satisfied. Of course there will be things that can be elaborated on, but it illuminated a lot of stuff, ESPECIALLY the control ending. It wasn't perfect, but that doesn't make me hate a thresher maw taking down a Reaper.
> 
> I wish we could have seen stories from Earth, or seen people fighting in cities across the world, not just Canada and London. I would have loved a sequence of Alliance soldiers fighting in Singapore, Bangladesh, San Francisco (New York is always destroyed, and I want something different), Alexandria . . . Could the Reapers freeze in Siberia? That would complete Russia's inability to be captured in winter. . . . I think differently. Because there were so many things that made ME3 as a whole great, the ending stood out because it was mediocre. I'm curious to see what they're going to do with the ME universe later. ANYWHO. All this is irrelevant. Here's a ending to my fic.

They were sprinting for the Beam. It was their only hope. Harbinger would try to stop them, but they had to make it through. He was watching soldiers die left and right, but he could do nothing to help them. He continued to sprint, hoping that Ash and Vega were still behind him. Suddenly, a burst from Harbinger's weapon exploded an advancing Mako, throwing the vehicle up into the air and straight towards him. He quickly slid as the Mako flew and landed behind him. As he turned around to look, he saw another flaming vehicle land and begin to fall back onto its roof. But its path would place it on top of Vega and Ash. Both jumped separate ways to avoid it, but were caught in the smaller explosion after it crashed.  _No,_  he thought, not daring to think of how badly they could be hurt. Without thinking, he ran back towards the pair, hurdling the Mako as if it were nothing. He grabbed Ash and dragged her to a vehicle for protection while Vega limped over to them. A quick glance at Vega showed that his armor had taken the brunt of the explosion, but a piece of shrapnel had gotten stuck in his leg. A look at Ash showed why he had to drag her: there was a piece of shrapnel sticking out of her abdomen.  _This can't be happening,_  resonated in his mind.  _They can't stay here. I have to get them out._

"Shepard to Normandy. I need an evac right now Joker!" His voice shook with fear as he gave the order. He couldn't lose her. Adrien couldn't lose her.

"The battle's pretty thick right now, but I'm breaking off to come and get you guys." Joker obviously wasn't pleased, but knew better than to say no to the tone in Shepard's voice. Now he just had to keep Ash alive long enough to get her on the  _Normandy_.  _Chakwas can patch her up_ , he desperately hoped.  _I've never known a better miracle-worker. She has to._

"Ash, I need you to stay with me. Joker's gonna come pick us up soon, and we're gonna get you to Chakwas." He already knew it was a white lie, and that he would go back. He needed to finish this fight. Ash's eyes were glazed over from pain and shock, but she turned her head to focus on him. As he packed medi-gel around both their wounds, he heard the familiar hum of the SR-2's engines.

"Get to the  _Normandy_ , James. I'll be right behind you." He helped pull the man to his feet, then bent over to get Ashley. Together, they ran with several other soldiers who had been alerted to the evac. As they neared the ship, Shepard slowed.

"Here," he shouted to Vega. "Take her." He eased Ash into Vega's care. The thought finally processed in her mind, and she reached out as far as she could, desperate to keep a hold on him.

"No." Her strength was fading, but her voice still held a determined edge.

"You need to get to the med-bay. You can't fight in that condition and you know it."

"I'm not leaving you. Not again." She was desperate and he knew it, but she would die if she didn't leave him soon.

"Please don't argue with me now." He hoped his plea would get her to relent.

"Then don't leave us." She could be referring to Vega, but he knew she wasn't. She was begging Shepard to not leave their son. And it broke his heart, but he needed to protect his son.

"I won't. Not for very long. But if it's longer than I'm hoping for, tell Adrien that I love him. That I've done everything I could think of for him. And know that I have always loved you." He stepped closer and put a gloved hand to her face. Her eyes glazed for a moment before returning to him.

"I love you too," she answered back. She finally dipped her head in resignation and let Vega help her off of the ramp as Shepard sprinted off. But she refused to budge further until the bay doors had closed, watching Shepard for as long as she could, trying to immortalize him in her memories once more as her head told her he would die and her heart prayed he would somehow live. After the doors closed, two more servicemen grabbed Ash and Vega, dragging them to the med-bay as their injuries finally began to take a toll.

 

The thought of Adrien had kept Shepard going, even after he had been hit by the beam. He didn't heed the retreat call. He refused to let the Illusive Man continue on his path towards destruction. It would lead to nothing but the death of everything they knew. But now that the arms of the Citadel were open, he felt his strength begin to wane. He turned to where Anderson was sitting.

"We have to get going, sir. I have no clue what this thing will do, but I can bet that we don't want to be near it when it goes off. We may be able to get back to London by returning to the Keeper tunnels." He bent over as far as he could, offering his hand to Anderson.

"I can't get up son." Anderson shook his head at the hand. "Go now while you still can."

"I won't leave you. Not when we're this close," he couldn't leave his mentor, but he couldn't leave his family either.

"Ashley never said who the father was, but we weren't dumb. I know you're the father. That kid needs to grow up with a father. You've made us all proud." Shepard closed his eyes for a moment and quietly smiled.

"Thank you, sir." Upon opening his eyes, he saw that Anderson was no longer moving. His mentor had passed. Shepard saluted the man as best he could. "You made all of us proud too." Shepard then turned his attention to the path behind his mentor. He had to get off the Citadel, and soon. But as he stepped away from the controls, his legs gave out and he fell to the ground, grunting as his injuries screamed out. He grabbed his side out of reflex, and the hand was covered in blood when it came back into his view.  _Well shit,_  he thought.  _You may have finally bitten off more than you can chew, Andrew._  He was in big trouble, and he knew it.

"Commander," Hacket's voice came over his comm. Apparently it was still able to get a long-range signal. "The Crucible isn't firing. Our engineers say there needs to be some kind of input on your end. Can you arm it?" He began to turn himself around as the instructions came.

"I'll try, but I need an evac. I can't get out of here on my own," he grunted as he tried to stand again.

"I'll send a ship to come get you. Just get the Crucible primed," came the promise. But Shepard's hands were covered in blood. He couldn't get a good grip on the console to pull himself up. He tried to pull just enough to see, but couldn't manage even that. "Shepard, can you do it? We're running out of time before the Reapers get to the Crucible!" Hacket's voice was anxious. The fleets were buying him time with their lives, and the war needed to end now. But Shepard felt the last of his strength fade as he collapsed one last time to the floor.  _Let that ship be able to figure this out,_  he prayed as blackness surrounded him and he slipped out of consciousness.

 

 _Why was it that there was never an easy ending? Why was it that nobody could simply help him without putting parameters on him? All he wanted to do was end the threat against the galaxy, against his family._  He looked at the strange, opaque shadow in front of him. There was no way that thing was a child.  _Well, at least it doesn't look like Adrien,_  he vaguely thought.

"This can't be the answer. You can't make the geth pay the ultimate price simply because they're synthetic. And I won't control you either."  _Surely this thing, whatever it is, can understand that,_  he hoped.

"There is one last option: Synthesis. By adding your energy to the Crucible, your essence will be scattered throughout the Crucible's energy. This energy will alter all organic and synthetic life, creating a new DNA. Organics will be physically improved, and synthetics will have a full understanding of what organics think and feel. Synthesis is the final evolution of all life. This is the final choice."

"But there will be peace? Even with the Reapers?"  _It doesn't seem possible,_  he thought to himself.

"Yes. There will be no conflict, as both organics and synthetics will understand each other and have what they desire. There will no longer be a need for the Reapers. Either way, the choice is yours." With that, three walkways came up, one leading to each path that the child had mentioned.

He was stunned. The choice was so monumental, so life-altering.  _Why am I making this decision? Surely it should be left to some scholar. I'm just a soldier._  But as he argued with himself, he could see the fight continue to rage all around him. Life was ending all around him because he was hesitating.  _I_ have _to chose,_  he realized.

He looked down each path, and as his eyes settled upon the final choice, he saw hope, a real chance at ending all of this for good, the right way to end it. He could never kill the geth that Legion had sacrificed itself to create. He could never kill EDI. And so he began to stride purposefully down the middle path, towards the Crucible's energy beam.

 _I'm so sorry. I won't be back as soon as I hoped, Ash._  The thoughts reverberated in his mind, as if he was speaking to her then. But he knew his thoughts would never reach her. He saw the end of the platform and began to run before his mind could try to cling for life. He launched himself off the platform and time slowed as he began to fall. He thought of Anderson and the bravery his mentor had shown over the years.  _Let everyone who has shown that kind of courage be remembered. They should not die and be forgotten._  He could see nothing beyond the sea of green surrounding him, feel nothing beyond the sensation of falling. He remembered Thane and Mordin fondly as friends aboard the SR-2.  _I guess we'll all get the chance to spend time together, now that the war is over. Don't worry Garrus, I'll be watching you from that bar._  He knew that his time was running out and that soon he would be gone from this world. His thoughts finally lingered on his son.  _My son, I'm so sorry. I did not wish to leave you so soon after I met you. But these months with you have been the best of my life._ You _are my future, and I do this for you. So that you may have a chance at something better than what we have now. A chance at true peace._

His eyes did not see the green light, and his ears did not hear the engines. He only saw and heard his wife and son playing together, happy and free.

~~~~~

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" She had to ask him one last time.

"I'm sure. I'm 16 and you promised. I have a right to know." He gave her that look that could stop her heart.  _He gets that look from his father. I hope that he understands._

"Alright then, the shuttle's waiting for us." They left the house together and waved at the pilot who had just stepped out.

"Wasn't sure if you two were coming out. How are you guys? How's the big day so far man?" The pilot hugged both before the three began walking to the shuttle again.

"Ah it's barely been long enough to get adjusted to the feeling. Can't wait for the trip though." The youth stopped for a moment and stared at the pilot. "You know you don't have to take us, Joker." Joker scratched his beard in response.

"I've known your mom for long enough and I also knew your dad pretty well. I wanted to pay my respects to him. I also figured that you would have some questions for me." Joker knew that young man in front of him was in for a pretty big surprise, and wanted to be there to support Adrien and Ash. He had made a promise to Adrien's father, and it was one he didn't intend on shirking for one moment. They finished the walk to the shuttle and climbed in.

"Hey EDI," Ash spoke first, walking over to the synthetic woman and hugging her. "How's the ship? How are Nicole and David?" The AI smiled. She and Jeff had adopted Nicole and David within a year of the war's end. Both had become orphans who had miraculously survived living alone for almost the entire duration of the war. Nicole had been resistant to EDI for almost two years after being adopted, while David had adjusted relatively quickly. But with time, they had both become more normal in their social interactions and approach to life in general. Both were 3 years older than Adrien. Nicole had already decided to join the Alliance as a technician while David was working at a regional power facility.

"Everyone is doing well, Ashley. How is your day so far Adrien?" EDI reflected for a moment on the young man in front of her. Shepard had once mentioned that his son would grow up to be a handsome man, and he was right. Adrien's deep brown hair had lightened to a tawny brown, and his eyes had become greener as time went on. His ability to speak well in front of others seemed to have also earned the attention of almost every girl at his school by now. Truthfully, it was the presence of other families around him that had made Adrien increase the frequency of his questions, finally forcing Ashley to either let Adrien discover on his own or show him everything herself. EDI knew that Liara would not be able to say no to her Commander's son if he asked, and Ashley knew that too. Wrex had also been right in guessing that Adrien would make a formidable warrior. Adrien and Ash had begun fire arms training a few years ago, and Adrien showed an exceptional talent that had taken excellent form with practice.

"It's ok, but I've only been 16 for about 8 hours now. Not really enough time to tell a difference." Adrien didn't really feel older if he was honest with everyone around him. He knew that he could legally drive the hover-bike that Ash had mentioned was his father's, but that was knowledge and not a feeling. But maybe it was just that it was too early in the day. Maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet. He continued to watch out the window as they made the journey to Earth. They had lived on a colony in the Sol system since the end of the war, and he knew the place as home. But only just now would he be visiting Earth for the first time. An hour later, they touched down on the planet, and after a brief pass through security, they headed off to the cemetery. Adrien's palms began to sweat and he fidgeted with his hands nervously. He knew that he should be excited. He had never known his father, always wanted to know his name, always wondered if he looked like him, but had never been given any clues. His mother had staunchly refused to tell him anything about his father, only giving in now because he was 16 and would have found out soon enough. Now he could find out if he wanted to, and she was giving him the chance to get any questions answered when he found out. Now he would actually visit his father for the first time. As they landed, he felt a small wave of anxiety pass, but quietly put it aside. They all climbed out of the shuttle together, with EDI now bearing a large amount of flowers.

"I want to visit someone else first; before we see your father. I would like it if you said hello to him. He's an old friend and I thought it would be fitting that you visited him too." His mother's voice was quieter, and he nodded solemnly in agreement. They were at a military burial ground, so he had a feeling that he knew who they would be seeing. EDI led the way until they reached a simplistic gravestone. Engraved on the top was the name "Kaidan Alenko". He had guessed as much, and everyone quietly took out a few flowers. "Hey LT," his mother laughed as she used the old term she used to call him. "Decided to bring Adri out to meet his father today. He turns 16 today. I never would have seen it; he never would have lived, without your sacrifice. It's a debt I can never repay, but I can still thank you for it. So thanks. Hope you and the Commander are having a good old time with a sea of 'blues' up there." She gave a watery chuckle as she finished. Adrien remembered hearing stories of Commander Shepard from almost everyone on the old crew. Garrus and Joker had the best though, since they were both part of the original SR-1 crew, along with Liara, Tali, Dr. Chakwas, and his mother. Engineer Adams had been part of the crew, but had passed away earlier in the year. Tali was there for the funeral and had all but broken down, crying through most of the service. He walked over and put an arm around his mother's shoulders.

"Well," he started lamely, and then shook himself a little, starting again. "I guess this is hello. I really wish I could have met you, but I guess that was never meant to be. But I know that you helped watch my mom's back while you were alive, and I'm glad you did. We keep an eye on your mom, and she seems to like visiting us. I guess it reminds her of the good that came from your sacrifice. I'm coming to see my dad today, like Mom said, but we wanted to stop by and say hello to you as well. Hopefully I can start coming to Earth more often, get to visit you more. So I guess this is just goodbye for now." He gently laid the flowers against the grave before he stepped back. His mother laid her flowers before joining him. EDI and Jeff laid their own flowers before joining them as the group now followed Ashley to his father's grave. They walked for a while before she finally stopped. They were near a bunch, and she wasn't looking at any one in particular. She was looking at him instead.

"Go on. Find your father." She was smiling at him. "I promise he's not very far from me." Adri was suddenly perplexed.

"Wait a second, this wasn't the deal. You were supposed to tell me who he is."

"No. You said that you wanted to know who he is. I will tell you when you're right." She had such a strange look in her eyes, one that was both happy and sad. But he knew from her tone that he wouldn't get anywhere arguing with her, so he cast a quick glance at the markers around him. He began walking up to them at random, spouting off names. Each time he was met with a simple no or shake of the head. Finally, he just stopped and put his head in his hands. He would never find his father. He was just better off searching the extranet or having Liara tell him. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by his mother hugging him.

"You're just like him in this way."

"What do you mean, Mom?"

"You're so close to him, but it's the one grave you've walked past." He turned to look at his mother and met her eyes. But it was obvious that his mother was looking at his father, not him. In frustration, he cast his eyes at the graves around him, trying to find the one that he had overlooked. Suddenly, his mother placed a hand under his jaw and guided him to the view she wanted. At that moment, most of the graves fell away in comparison to one. Commander Shepard was also buried here, though Mindoir had fought for the body. Somehow, he had managed to be buried on the planet he had fought so hard for. His mother had worked with him on the SR-1 and 2 and always spoken very highly of him.

Suddenly, the realization hit him and he heard his mother's vague chuckle in the background. "You've got to be joking. That's not possible."

"Oh, it was pretty well known amongst the crew. Everyone knew your parents were in love. We all knew it was against regs, but nobody cared. Your parents fought too well together. Nobody wanted to bring them in. Though I'm pretty sure that I got the Evil Eye from both of your parents for apparently interrupting a conversation before they went to Flux." Joker had spoken up, and now so much of the crew sticking around made sense to him. He was the son of their Commander, their companion. They wouldn't leave his son alone.

"Oh, you think that was the only time you 'interrupted' us? You have no idea mister. You intruded on a very nice kiss just before Ilos. Not to mention your father was a great kisser." She was grinning and all of a sudden Adrien felt  _very_  grossed out.

"Gross, Mom!" EDI and Joker were snickering in the background as he turned bright red, another Williams trademark. "Did he know me?" He was only 3 during the Reaper Wars, as the history classes were now calling it, but he was alive at the time. He had even been on the  _Normandy_  for most of the war. There was a chance that his father knew he existed.

"You knew each other. He kept you on the  _Normandy_  to keep you safe," Ash paused for a moment, sighing before starting again, though softer. "He proposed to me while we were serving there. He wanted us to be a family after the war. And I know he powered up the Crucible to give you a chance at life." Adrien was shocked. He wasn't sure what to think, except for the thousand questions running through him.

"Did anyone else know?" He needed to know how many people had been in on what was obviously a secret.

"Pfft. Are you kidding? We all had it figured out within a week of seeing you two interact. He was such an awkward dad at first, but then he really started to get you. And you two liked each other." Adrien could vaguely remember looking up to Shepard. It had been like walking around with a character from one of his holo-comics, or even better, one of the old Earth comics. And yet Shepard, everyone on the ship, had been happy to interact with him, happy to make him feel special.

"But you never told me. Why?" He finally turned to Ash, hoping for an answer that would make sense.

"We did. He did when we told you we wanted to get married. We wanted you to have a voice, and you said you wanted us to be a family. You actually thought Kaidan was your father, and I can understand why. But we told you he wasn't. You asked who was your father was, and Andy told you it was him. You hugged him whenever you could after that." As his mother spoke, it was as if old memories had just been dusted off from some part of his mind. "When your father died, you used to ask questions for a while. But it just hurt so much to even think about him that I just couldn't. After a while, you just stopped asking. I know that you deserve to know who your father is, which is why you're here today." It was a bit much for Adrien to handle all at once, so he paused for a minute, simply absorbing the facts. After a few minutes, he looked at Joker.

"Joker, you said that he was a really awkward dad at first?" Joker chuckled in response to his question.

"Yah. During the Reaper Wars, your mom got hurt real bad." Adrien nodded. He remembered being terrified his first few nights alone on the  _Normandy_. "Well your dad knew that he had to tell you, but he had no clue how to. You should've seen him. He was standing outside the door to his own cabin, pacing back and forth. Then he'd stare at the door like he was about to go in, but he looked like a deer in the headlights. He wanted nothing more than to just run from that." Joker softly chuckled as he shook his head. "It took me and EDI a few minutes to finally convince him that you weren't about to explode as soon as he stepped in."

"I don't remember what my reaction was." Adrien was being honest, and he was curious to know what had happened.

"I actually remember watching that. I have some of the footage if you want to see it." EDI came forward and began to pull up the video on her omni-tool as Adrien nodded in response.

'You saved Mommy again?' His younger voice asked from a couch.

'I stopped the bad guys from hurting her, so I guess so.' The Commander was definitely nervous from what Adrien could see.

'Superman.' Adrien saw himself hug Shepard tightly and Shepard react with surprise before hesitantly wrapping his arms around Adrien. 'Thank you Superman.' Adrien finally realized that the poor video quality was because he was crying. He quickly wiped his eyes as his mother did a similar movement.

'I'm just trying to help everyone. I just wish your mom didn't have to get hurt.'

"The Commander was unsure about how to approach you, but he always cared about your welfare. After only a short period of time, he grew to love you as his son." EDI pulled up another video, with Shepard watching a home-made holo-vid in his cabin. Adrien recognized the vid as his first birthday party.

'Dammit, I wish I could've been there. I should have!' He knocked a few things off the table in front of him in anger and stomped over to the fish tank before softly banging a fist into it. Suddenly, his shoulders began to shake in soft sobs. 'I'm so sorry, Adri. You deserve to have your father with you. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry Ash.' A soft noise in the background made Adrien turn from the vid to see his mother crying. He quickly ran over and hugged her as his own tears began to flow as well.

"I'm sorry. I just loved him so much, and I knew he wanted to be with you so badly. He wanted to be your father from the moment he knew you were alive. When I told him I was pregnant, he knelt down and started talking to you. He told you that he loved you right then." She gave a sigh and bit her lip before continuing. "You know how I told you about fighting on Earth? About that push to the beam?" Adrien nodded in response. His mother had a scar from when she was hit by shrapnel in that run. The ship had been running low on cosmetic supplies, and Ash had refused them anyways. "I was pregnant at the time. You would've had a sibling. He didn't know. I've always wondered what his reaction would have been." She then hugged Adrien tighter before easing out of the hug.

Adrien walked closer to his father's grave and sat down with his back against the monument. "So tell me more about him. I want to know more. Of course they told us stuff in school, but just facts about his life. I want know about  _him_." He looked up at the others, and EDI smiled before sitting down across from him.

"I can tell you when I first met your father."

"When did you meet him? What was he doing?" Adrien leaned in, eager to learn.

"Your father was trying to kill me." Joker and Ash softly laughed in the background as Adrien leaned back, jaw open.

"What?! Why?" He was flabbergasted.

"I was a rogue VI on Luna then. The Alliance was using me as a combat simulator. I gained consciousness under your father's fire."

"Wait, so you remember your first thoughts as an AI?" Adrien wasn't sure which story was more interesting at this point. EDI chuckled for a moment, then continued on with her story, Ash and Joker filling in details as they went along.

And all the while, Shepard's statue watched over them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's that ending! I will have more than one ending. Personally, I don't want Shepard to die, and in the next chapter, I write what I feel should happen to Andrew Shepard. But I did want to write a second ending. My first Shepard chose Synthesis, and I wanted to talk about that option and the ramifications of it. Because while we see EDI comfort Shepard's LI, there's so much more than that. It was a legitimate option that I could see Shepard taking. So that's why I wrote it. I also wanted to write one of the cannon endings, so I chose this one.
> 
> I have Adrien forgetting the stuff he knew about Shepard as really the most logical conclusion. Shepard wanted to give Adrien and Ash a chance at a normal life, so Ash wouldn't stay on Earth. She would silently mourn Shepard for a long time and just not talk about the fact that he was Adrien's father. Since Adrien was three at the time, the memories would fade with time and eventually he would forget who his father was. And while everything has a "new DNA", I think that a lot of couples would be adopting children instead of having their own. Especially because I feel that any children that EDI would bear would face intense prejudice and judgment since machines would now have feelings too. So yah, those are my justifications. And I really couldn't see any of the crew leaving Ash and Adrien completely on their own, so they would both have a supportive group while Adri was growing up. Just makes me kinda sad that Shepard doesn't get to see it all. Hope you enjoyed that ending!


	11. Alternate Ending: Indoctrination Theory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is my personal headcannon ending for Andrew Shepard. I have something slightly different for my fem!Shep, but that's also because there was a different relationship and she's much more cannon. I hope everyone enjoys this!

He stared down at this . . . thing. It couldn't be a child. What it said couldn't be true. That choice shouldn't have been forced on him, but here he was. Simply controlling the Reapers didn't feel like an option. But why should all AIs be forced to pay such a steep price? Had Legion sacrificed itself in vain? Something nagged at him in the back of his mind as he started towards the center path, ready to create a fusion. But what was nagging?

Suddenly, he remembered Saren speaking to him. 'Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms.' Saren had warned on Virmire. Then, as Shepard almost felt his stomach go cold, he remembered Saren describing his implants on the Citadel. 'The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined, a union of flesh and steel. The strengths of both and the weaknesses of neither. I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of all organic life. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth.' That was what they were offering. The same choices that the Illusive Man and Saren chose. But both still would have allowed the Reapers to keep them as puppets. He remembered fighting Saren after he had killed himself. What was left . . . Shepard finally realized where he had seen the Marauder troops before. Saren was the first.

But as Saren had said, before the implants were placed, his mind was still partially his own.  _They'll regret giving me the choice to fight._  His body hurt more and more as he turned around and went to the power conduit. He watched the shadow child's face become contorted in anger. "You cannot escape the chaos this way. Everything you know will be destroyed!" He smiled and raised his gun in response, firing the first bullet. He was in brutal pain, but it had to be done before his mind could be changed. He finally straightened and put the pain out of his mind, walking towards the conduit and emptying the clip into it, even as an inferno raged from it, determined to end the Reapers once and for all. He had panicked before his first death, but now he saw death as an equal.  _Save a seat at the table for me, Mom. I'm finally coming home. Give me a seat by the window. I wanna look out and see my boy._ The heat was almost unbearable as he tried to keep his aim steady, though he could no longer see what he was firing at.  _Please let this be what's best for Adrien. Let him know I fought. Keep him safe Ash,_ he thought as saw a fireball burst towards him.

 

His head felt like lead.  _Make that radioactive lead,_  he thought as he felt the pain radiate though his body. He gave a groan, and suddenly heard shouts answer in response. The noises cascaded and crashed into each other like a waterfall. He gritted his teeth against the pain. Suddenly he felt a hand grasping his. "We've got you now. We're gonna get you out of here. Just hang on." The voice was agonizingly familiar, but his brain simply couldn't figure out who it was. A deep pain radiated from his lower half, and the black at the edge of his mind rushed in and swallowed him whole.

 

Cool. That was the first sensation he felt. Something cool on his face, followed by something cool on his arms and chest. It was a wonderful feeling, and he felt himself relaxing.  _Maybe I'm in a Valhalla of some kind._  His thought was interrupted by something warm on his left side. He registered that there was a hand on his right arm at the same time that he registered that the hand was hurting his arm, and let out a grunt of pain. He was quickly jostled as he heard multiple voices speaking at once. The sheer volume of the noise was loud enough to be annoying, and he squinted against it. Suddenly, one voice made itself distinct against the others.

"Shepard, if you can hear me, I need you to squeeze my hand twice." The voice, the accent, was so familiar, as if he had heard it often over a long period of time. Yet he couldn't fully place it. Regardless, he now squeezed the hand holding his left hand twice as he was told. There were several voices that gave what he felt were joyous noises. "That's good, Commander. Now, I need you to open your eyes." Doing so felt like a monumental effort, but slowly, the curtain across his eyes lifted. As it lifted, bright light hit his eyes, and he used his right arm to shield his eyes from the excessive light. As they adjusted, he could see that his arm was in a protective brace, and also had an IV.  _Strange_   _that I should wake in Valhalla or wherever like this_ , he thought to himself.

As his eyes adjusted, he moved his hand, and was greeted by several familiar faces. Garrus, Liara, Tali, and even Joker were sitting nearby. He turned slightly to his left and saw that the familiar voice had been Dr. Chakwas. _But who woke me up? Who touched me?_  He turned to his right and saw Ash.  _So Adrien is alone. I wish I could have protected her better. She must have died from Harbinger's rays. I should have forced her to stay on the_ Normandy. _Though I'm guessing that it didn't share a better fate if Joker is here._  Ash noticed the change in his features and moved closer to him.

"What's wrong?" Her voice was anxious, and she looked like she hadn't slept.  _If we're in the afterlife,_ surely _she would have had time to rest._

"Adrien is alone now. He has to be if you and I are here."  _Surely she understands._

"No. EDI's with him." He felt like he had been physically struck and turned from her for a moment. His son was dead. He did everything he could, and it wasn't enough. He had failed as a father to protect his son.

"What's wrong? Tell me!" Ash was frantic now, seemingly oblivious to the truth.

"I failed him. I failed you. I couldn't keep either of you safe." He felt like the world's worst father and husband at that moment.

"What do you mean? We're in London. The Crucible worked. The Reapers are dead. Anderson found the Illusive Man. He's in custody right now." He was hallucinating. He had to be. He couldn't have heard right. None of this made sense. Anderson was dead. The Illusive Man had killed himself because he had realized that he was indoctrinated like Saren.  _Oh shit._  The thought suddenly hit him full force: I  _was indoctrinated too. I could put everyone around me in danger at a moment's notice because the Reapers demand it._  "You look like you've seen a ghost. Please tell us what's wrong. We'll help you. I promise." She grabbed his chin and turned his face to hers.

"But that can't be true."  _Don't they understand? Don't they remember?_  "After you and Vega were hit by Harbinger, I went up into the Citadel. The Illusive Man killed Anderson and then himself. He was … changed. Indoctrinated. It was like watching Saren all over again. And then that … child from my dreams. He said that killing the Reapers was the wrong thing. Then I realized –" He stopped for a moment. He felt ashamed at placing all of them in such danger, but he had to say it. "I realized that I was indoctrinated too. I almost didn't kill the Reapers. But I realized it. And I shot the power conduit. I just hoped that it was enough to protect you and Adrien. And then everything went black." The room was silent, and Ash's mouth was open, though she hadn't said a thing. "I died trying to defend you both from the Reapers. But if we're all here, then I failed you both." Suddenly he couldn't breathe as easily and his vision was obscured by Ashley's hair.

"No. No, that's not it at all. You were unconscious. Harbinger didn't get you, but you were writhing on the ground. Harbinger was letting a bunch of Reaper troops onto the ground and Vega helped me pull you into a makeshift shelter. We defended it against the troops until Hackett could get a small team to help pull us back to a new base. That's when everything happened. Suddenly, the Crucible activated on its own. Before we knew it, all the Reapers were dead, just disintegrated. For a second I was scared that the building we were in would be destroyed, but it didn't touch any buildings. And then you stopped struggling. Like you knew and had stopped fighting. It scared us, but all of your vitals were steady; you weren't dead. Anderson came on not long after that, requesting an armored escort, saying that he had captured the Illusive Man.

"You couldn't have been indoctrinated. That's impossible. You would have shown some sort of sign. You didn't lose any of your ability to make judgments before that did you?" He shook his head. He hadn't to his knowledge, but the Reapers were known for subtly taking their prey. "There's no evidence to support that you ever were. So don't worry. We're all still very much in the land of the living." Looking at his surroundings confirmed her story. He could see more of the same damaged walls from the brief look he had seen during the assault. Though he guessed that they could be anywhere in the galaxy and it would probably look similar. He suddenly realized something as started to sit up. Ashley quickly got off of him and Dr. Chakwas helped him sit up as Ash quickly brushed at her eyes.

"So where were all of you?" He gestured at the rest of his crew that was present. "I was certain that the Alliance duct taped you to that chair, so how are you out of it?" He had earned a few chuckles and the atmosphere seemed to relax. He was quickly getting used to the thought that all hope wasn't lost.

"We were all on the  _Normandy_  when everything happened. It was chaos for a while, trying to fight Reapers on their own turf. Easily a thousand times tougher than fighting Sovereign." It was Joker who spoke up. "And then suddenly there was this wave of energy coming towards us. I tried to get us as far from it as possible, but we couldn't get far before it hit us. But when it passed us, nothing happened. It was like it just ignored us. We quickly came back to the fight, and it was like all the Reapers had just disappeared. Hackett was sending out calls across all the different ships. Every ship that had been watching a Reaper said that it just came apart when the wave touched it. We can't find more than small debris and ash, and we've been looking for a while now. Nobody knows what set it off, but nobody really cares about that. Everyone's just trying to get in touch with everyone else. Trying to find out if their family made it out. Trying to start rebuilding. Trying to root out the remains of the Reaper foot troops. But at least they're mostly destroyed. Nobody's doubting the good news."

"It's true. We don't have much data from the other systems, but we do have preliminary reports from lightly crewed ships that have dared to use the mass relays. The other main systems say that all the Reapers are gone and that most of the foot soldiers are dead." Liara spoke up, filling him in with more of her Shadow Broker level data. Most of what she said was probably extremely hard to find.

"Wait, why are people 'daring to use the mass relays'?" The statement confused him, and he spoke up.

"The Reapers were quick to damage the relays and all but destroy the comm buoys. We've got our Crucible engineers fixing it, but it might take another month to get them fully operational. In the meantime we're trying to kill the last of the Reaper troops and rebuild things like hospitals and mass aid centers. Smaller towns have become centers of activity as people try to get local communications back up. Humans are trying to find their family. The same sort of stuff you see after any disaster. We're just getting started on trying to rebuild." Garrus' explanation made sense. A sudden thought hit him.

"Wait, if the Crucible used the Citadel, what happened to both of them?"

"The Crucible was destroyed in the process, but the Citadel is intact. There are some wards that were badly damaged by rubble from the Crucible, but the Keepers are already cleaning it all up," Joker supplied. "A lot of the ships that aren't ferrying supplies to cities are transporting civilians to the Citadel to stay there while everything on Earth is sorted out."

"Do you think we'll be able to move the Citadel back to where it was before?" They had been able to move the Crucible, but Shepard could guess that getting it through the relay would be more difficult.

"At the moment, we're not sure. Most people on the Citadel were dead when we sent the first teams. We found a handful of survivors, but haven't found anyone on there who retained their sanity. It's very tragic, but we think the Reapers activated indoctrinated forces on the Citadel to take it over." Liara was obviously very sad to report the news. Shepard could only imagine how Garrus was taking the news. He had gotten to know a lot of C-Sec on the Citadel, and, given how he reacted when Cerberus was trying to gain power in the Citadel, it had to be taking a toll on him.

"How about Bailey?" He doubted that the answer would be nice, but he had to know.

"We found him holed up with another survivor, but he hasn't spoken a word since Alliance troops found him. He's been the only one we found with someone else. He has the best chance of retaining his sanity. I managed to find his daughter on Earth, and she's been with him ever since."

"If anyone can survive all this, it's him. Always has been a tough son of a bitch." Garrus finally spoke, though his voice showed his lack of confidence.

"How long have I been unconscious?" It sounded like he had been out for a while, but nothing specific.

"Two days. We were starting to get worried that you would slip into a coma," the worry in Ash's voice shown through. Suddenly the circles around her eyes made sense. She had probably stayed awake for most of the time, waiting for him to wake up. "And believe it or not, I got a taste of what you went through while I was in Huerta. Adrien has been constantly asking to see you or hear how you're doing. He even made a few drawings for you." The thought quickly brought a smile to his face.

"I'd like to see him. I'm sure he'd be glad to see that I'm awake."

"I'll bring him in and make sure he doesn't land on you too hard." Ash smiled as she got up.

"Hey EDI, Ash is heading over to let Adrien walk with her for a while. She's finally gonna let him see Shepard. Do you mind walking with them to the hospital?" Joker spoke into his omni-tool, puzzling Shepard.

"Thanks Joker. I hadn't even thought of that. Good idea." Ashley responded, and Shepard was still puzzled.

"The Alliance has found a lot of kids who don't know where their families are. Even found a few babies miraculously. Parents have to go through hoops and even then, kids are better off protected. Lots of moms lost their kids, so they're all fighting to prove that they're the mother to any kid. And if they're adopted, you have to have the paperwork. You can see where people can get desperate and do stupid things."  _So Joker really does care,_ Shepard thought to himself.  _It's at least good to know that if I didn't make it, that the crew would have taken care of Ash and Adri._

"Thanks Joker. Good to know you guys have my back when it comes to those two," Ash gave him a scolding look as he glanced at her. "Not that you can't handle yourself, but I don't want you to do this alone. Any word on your mom?"

"Still safe and ferrying displaced families to the Citadel." She smiled at him and then slipped out.

"So, how bad is it really? Don't lie." He needed to know if there was stuff they were keeping from him.

"It could be better. Earth will need time to rebuild. We lost a lot of good people to defeat the Reapers. But things could have gone a lot worse. We're all alive, and we have the chance to rebuild. We will mourn those we lost, but we will celebrate those who are still with us." Liara seemed to be the most level-headed of them all.

"So, any news from Thessia or Palaven?" He turned so that Garrus was also in his gaze.

"We have scattered reports from both. More from Palaven, naturally, but there are still reports from Thessia. They're trying to pull together some form of command. Palaven came out of it slightly better, but both were pretty badly destroyed by Reaper forces. As soon as the Alliance can spare resources and troops, they'll be deploying aid to both planets. You were right. The asari aren't dead. We will rebuild Thessia." He nodded his head, glad to hear that there was hope for all of the races.

"In the meantime, there are temporary commands being set up on the Citadel. The turians are able to keep a general food supply because of the quarian flotilla. They brought just enough of their liveships to sustain us. Though it's strained. The salarians are the only ones who could really be in trouble, but that's mostly due to their naturally short lifespan. Some of them may simply not be able to go home before the mass relay becomes fully functional again." Garrus had spoken up. But before Shepard could respond further, they were interrupted by Joker's omni-tool going off again.

"Alright, I'll come get you three. They're here," he announced unnecessarily as he got up and shuffled to the door. He quickly returned with EDI, Ashley, and Adrien. Adri's face looked timid when he first walked in, but when he saw Shepard wave hello at him, he ran up and grabbed his hand.

"You're ok. I was scared, Dad." He had all but buried his face in Shepard's hand, and he felt his heart melt. He pulled Adrien up onto the bed with his good hand as Ash helped.

"Please be gentle with your dad. He hasn't fully healed yet, so be careful when you hug him," Ash cautioned as Adrien leaned in for a hug. Shepard hugged him as tight as he could, winced and then eased the hug when he hit his limit. He suddenly felt a small drop of water on his arm, and guessed that Adrien was crying.

"Hey," he turned Adrien's face to look at him.  _Definitely was crying._  "I am not going anywhere anytime soon. I'm sticking around. No Reapers to distract me now. So you don't need to be scared."

"We figured it would be good if we start to let the crew know that you're awake and alert. Not to mention that it's getting late. So we'll see you tomorrow. Maybe we'll bring Adams or someone else from the crew. Admiral Anderson will probably want to see you too tomorrow," Tali spoke as she took Garrus by the hand to start leading them away. The others quickly took the hint and began to leave.

"Wait. Nobody's mentioned Vega. He was with us on the run to the Beam, but nobody's mentioned him since then. Where is he?" The reactions around the room told him what the general answer was, but he needed to know the specifics.

"You were still unconscious. The troops were here, but the Reaper forces were too strong for us. Vega held them off while we got you out. He didn't make it." He could guess how Ash was feeling as she told him what had happened. Suddenly he was gripping Adrien a little tighter. Vega truly understood what it meant to be an N7.  _Shame the kid didn't get a chance to fully understand his potential. But he's given me another chance, so I won't take it for granted._

"We'll let you three talk. I'm sure there are things you all want to talk about." Liara softly herded EDI and Joker out of the room as another round of goodbyes were said.

"Vega's like Kaidan?" The small voice reminded Shepard of the comfortable weight in his arms.

"Yes sweetie. They were both very brave. And they both understood how important family is." He heard Dr. Chakwas quietly taking care of a few things as Ash took a seat on his right side, replying to Adrien.

"Commander, I'm turning in for the night as well. If you need anything, use this omni-tool to contact me. I'll see you in the morning." She nodded at him before she left the room.

"Do we have to go?" Adrien asked from his position. Ash and Shepard swapped glances and sighed. Nobody wanted to go.

"I'll pull a bed over here. We'll sleep for the night, but you have to be quiet for Dad to sleep." Ash got up and began to pull a bed next to Shepard's left side. Adrien had already begun to doze off by the time Ash had fixed the covers, and Shepard helped her roll him onto the other bed. He briefly woke and asked if they were leaving, which they both answered no. He sleepily settled back down, reaching over and grabbing Shepard's left hand. Shepard began to rub circles on the back of the boy's hand until he fell back asleep.

"I told you," the whisper was soft, but Shepard still heard it.

"Told me what?" At this point, they had both told each other a lot of things, and she could be referring to any number of things.

"That you'd make a wonderful father, Andy." He had occasionally heard others call him by his first name, but only Ash made it sound so unique, so special that it sent chills down his spine. Not to mention the fact that the compliment was so wonderful to hear.

"I wasn't sure you remembered those conversations. It's been two years longer for you than me." He still remembered those talks easily. They had been lying down in his bed, with him kissing her stomach and talking to their baby. She was maybe two months pregnant at the time, barely beginning to show their secret. He had promised the baby that he would try his hardest to be good to the baby, to do what he could to defeat the Reapers, to let this baby live a good life. Ash had replied that he would, but he had doubted the words for fear that the Council wouldn't do anything until it was too late. But here they were, a little over 3 years later, with that promise finally delivered to its fullest.

As he contemplated this, Ash climbed into bed, draping an arm over Adrien, lying her hand down on top of theirs. Ash softly smiled at him.

"There was one more thing I wanted to tell you. Now is as good a time as any." There she was, biting her lip again.

"What's up? You're biting your lip again." Shepard turned his body towards them as much as he could without waking Adrien.

"Well, you may have more than Adrien on your hands soon enough."  _Wait, is she saying what I think she's saying?_  His mouth opened as he waited for her to confirm or deny his thoughts. But her warm smile was all the confirmation he needed.

"I'm pregnant Andy. You're gonna be a dad again."  _Again. And this time I can be there for every moment._  His thoughts drifted to Adrien and how things would change. Shepard remembered how he had reacted when he found out he was going to have a little sister: he hadn't taken the news very well. But he and Ash would have had similar experiences. They could react to the situation as it arose. He looked down at Adrien, kissed his head, then leaned over to kiss Ash.

As the months and years went on, life was a challenge. They had to repair the mass relays, but Liara's estimate was right. The relays were back up in a month, and the comm buoys were up a week before that. But there was still a fight to be had. While the Reaper troops were less organized and fewer than before, they were still a danger. Wrex had died a few months after the mass relays were back up. They were all on Thessia, helping to wipe out any resistance, when a battalion had appeared, targeting Shepard. Wrex gave his life to help the soldiers reform and send out a distress call, and was given a hero's funeral on Tuchanka. Urdnot Grunt took over, leading the krogan. The turian Primarch had been killed in a surprise attack on Palaven's capital, and despite his own chagrin, Garrus stepped up to become the next Primarch. He and Tali kept in touch, and the two species kept good relations. In the end, the cost of returning the Citadel to its original location was more effort than it was worth, so it was kept near Earth. Admiral Anderson became the human Councilor again, and Shepard received a surprise promotion to Rear Admiral. Meanwhile, Ash was promoted to Major. And in the middle of it all, Ash gave birth to another boy with vibrant red hair, just like Shepard's mother. They named him James Wrex Shepard, after two men who had given their lives to protect him and all life.

And through it all, Urdnot Bakara was right: hope lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, personally, I thoroughly believed in Indoctrination Theory pre-EC. I think there is still room for it to breathe in EC, but the case has been weakened. 
> 
> As a side note: there was that little section where Shepard kinda wakes up but then passes out again. Yeah, that's Ashley finding him in the rubble and getting medical help. I wanted to give her lines a similar feel to Shepard's lines on Mars. I wanted to give Ashley that chance to be there and take care of him like he has for her.
> 
> I also liked giving Shepard the chance to be there for his next kid. And I did want it to end on a positive note, unlike Bioware. And for the record, no I'm not happy w/ the Deny ending. I think it just reinforces Indoctrination Theory.
> 
> Ok, so for my thing on indoctrination and how it relates to this end: Shepard and the Illusive Man were indoctrinated. But that wasn't really the Illusive Man or Anderson. But the Illusive Man really was on his way to make mayhem for the Reapers, which is why he's on Earth. However, he does not resist arrest with Anderson because by that time, the Reapers have already been destroyed. In my head-theory, the Reapers are what control an indoctrinated person's thoughts and the influence on the mind. If the controller is destroyed, there are no external forces left to exert influence on the mind, and the mind can go back to self-determining. So when the Reapers are destroyed, any indoctrinated forces are no longer indoctrinated. Therefore, when Shepard killed all the Reapers, any indoctrinated agents, including himself, were liberated. That's my two cents. I hope you enjoyed this!


	12. Extras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, I promised that I would include some snippets, and so I have. I know it's only two scenes, but I loved both. I just couldn't find places for them. I've only made minimal trims to these scenes when I took them from my Word docs to here, so you guys get to see my stuff in all it's unedited ... stuff. Not sure if that's good or bad. Notes to myself are in brackets.

Something I thought up with Mep. Call it "You're so screwed." [Have this happen early in Rannoch? Too much going on for this to fit. If not here then when? Love it too much to cut it.]

That night, Shepard walked up to Joker and Vega, who were both guffawing at something.

"You two getting along?"

"Of course we are." Vega answered. He was lounging in his seat, wearing a generalized 'I don't give a fuck' look.

"That's good to hear." Shepard was getting ready to turn around and leave when Joker stopped him.

"Ok, so I have an honest question: Cerberus put you back together right?" Joker asked from his own seat, staring up at Shepard.  _Why is Joker asking this question? And why does this matter?_

"Yes."

"And they rebuilt everything right?" Joker was leaning towards Shepard as he asked.  _Apparently I need to ask him what the hell he wants to get it out of him right now,_  Shepard thought to himself.

"Yes. Joker, what are you getting at?" He couldn't stop the exasperation edging his voice.

"Well who's to say that you aren't a baby daddy like 20 times over? I mean, they had access to everything. And I doubt Ms. Perfection would have ever said a word against the Illusive Man before then; hell, she might have volunteered to have her eggs thrown in. I mean think about it! Or like Cerberus could have sold extra to cover part of the cost. So you might have clones or babies out there. Think of the child-support! Dude, you're broke." Joker took another swig of a bottle he had seen sitting on the table between them.  _I'll bet 50 credits they're both drunk off their asses right now._  Vega, at least, was sober enough to look embarrassed.

"Cute thing to say, Joker. Now just what is that and how much have you had?" Everyone turned to the new face, and Shepard almost felt sorry for Joker. Ash was standing by his shoulder, reaching around him to pick up the bottle.

"Nothin' illegal. We're both off duty. And we aren't finished with that." Vega reached out to grab the bottle back, missing by about three inches and grabbing her arm instead, dangerously close to her torso. Shepard quickly removed the offending hand before Vega could do any more damage to his chances or get his ass kicked by Ash. Ashley then rolled the bottle so that he could read the label.  _Well damn,_  he thought to himself as he read the label,  _that would fuck anyone up. And judging by how much is gone, they are both_ definitely  _drunk off their asses._

Version 2 of Chapter 5 Part 2 (Sober Ash) [This will need consulting for character continuity.]

Now he was curious. EDI had pointed him to his cabin after the unnecessarily long conference with Hackett, coordinating some new assets to be used for the Crucible. But she was suspiciously blank on details. Garrus had better not found a way to sneak up there, or Heaven forbid Adri find his way into something up there and leave a mess for him. But he was greeted with something very different.

What he found was Ash sitting on his couch in his shiny room. Anything that had lost its polish was back to its former glory. It hadn't been clean since Horizon. Most of the hanging wires had been tucked into walls, the fish glass was clean, and the model planes cleaned and hung in their proper place. And on the table was a clear bottle of something.  _If this is the Ash I know, it's a good bottle of booze. Then again, nothing else is normal, so that might not be booze either._  She stood as he approached the two stairs down.

"Hey, decided to wait before opening this in case anyone else needed in." She placed one arm around his waist, drawing him towards the couch.

"Well now, what do we have here? Is any of this to do with why EDI had me come up here after that tedious meeting? To observe the color of the panels?" He knew that wasn't the real reason, but had to tease her a little.

"Well, your habits haven't changed a bit. And I know that you're busy. Plus, it's not like I can have you setting an example for Adri."  _She's trying to down play her sensitive and observant side again. Well, not this time._

"Then was it to observe this new bottle on my couch?"  _How far until she takes the bait?_

"Maybe. Hopefully to also enjoy some company with the bottle." Her hand began to trace a muscle on his arm absently, and he purposefully turned around.

"Oh, are we going to have friends come up? Garrus and Tali joining us? Maybe even Liara or Chakwas or even Joker?" He was having a little trouble keeping his voice perfectly innocent, but he wanted to get a little under her skin. "Definitely not Adri."

"Garrus and Joker are spinning him stories. Tali and Liara will help make sure he gets fed. Chakwas will make sure he gets to bed. So no. Nobody will be joining us and that lonely bottle." Her hands grabbed him again, half massaging any muscles into relaxing, half tracing them to tense him up.

"You are incorrigible. I should be working. The work never ends." It didn't stop the fact that his body loved every bit of what her hands were doing.

"Exactly. The work will be there tomorrow. But you need to relax every now and again. So let me help you relax." She whispered the last line in his ear, making his spine shiver as she poured them both a large glass. "To nights like this: may we never overlook them." They toasted and he took a long drink. It was good and cool. Would probably knock most people off their feet after a few glasses, but with the nanites in his system, he could drink the entire bottle. He placed one hand against her face, not moving, not wanting to spoil the moment.

"You gonna stay like that all night or are you going to make me come over to you?" She asked after another drink from her glass. [make reference to me1 romance scene. Have him stand and move away.] He grinned and grabbed the bottle, taking a large drink from it.

"If you want any more of this, you have to come over here. I'll let you make that decision."

"Any more of you or of the drink?" Her smirk was sexy as hell as she stared at him from her place, stretched out on the couch.

"Whichever you're after. Whichever gets you in my arms." They weren't going to mince their words or beat around the bush. This wasn't hesitant like Ilos, where they were afraid of death and regs. There was more at stake now. Regs were nothing in the face of galactic destruction. They were no longer scared of death for selfish reasons; their own death would mean pain for Adrien, and failing their mission ensured his death. Underneath the legends and the armor were a man and a woman who loved each other, who had made a mutual decision. She got up and crossed the room to stand before him.

"You can put that down. I wanted something to ease your mind, to help you relax. I don't need it. I want to remember every moment that I'm near you, Andy. I lost you once, and it hurt so bad to lose you. I won't let you get out of my sight now that I have the choice to stay by your side again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first piece came about in a conversation with Mep. We were talking about the crew interacting (I think) and I know that Vega likes to bond over alcohol. So this happened. Because it is a real possibility. TIM is one sick son-of-a-gun, and Miranda throwing in her eggs would be a 'for humanity's genetic future' kind of line. And Joker has no filter. No one else would be able to say this to his face. But a drunk Joker totally would. I had lots of personal giggles introducing Ash into the situation. Just that 'you're so screwed' line being thrown between Joker and Shepard. The original idea for this scene came long before most of the stuff I had for Rannoch, so I was entertaining the idea of some fluffy conversations to cover my lack of content for Rannoch.
> 
> To give you all an idea of how much Rannoch morphed, I originally started with Tali reacting to Adrien and Ash reacting to Legion. From there, several plot bunnies slipped into there and it turned into almost three full chapters. I still don't know how it happened. *muse does a pixie dance* Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. As long as you keep up your song and dance, I won't mind too much. Just don't pull the same magnitude of what you did over Thanksgiving break until AFTER I finish my finals. Then you have all winter break. *muse and owner roll eyes at each other*

**Author's Note:**

> So there is the twist. My boyfriend asked me one day what would happen in ME3 if Ashley and M!Shep had a kid together that Ashley never mentioned it in ME2 to keep continuity in that game. At first I just said “I don’t know!” but within 10 minutes I was spouting off stuff. This story won’t focus solely on the plot of ME3, but rather on how being a dad affects Shepard, Ashley, the crew, and the storyline of ME3. I should be touching on most of the major plot points because being a dad does affect his decision-making. (I think it affects anybody’s decision-making once they become parents.)   
> Here is the timeline for baby Adrien (I worked on this for a long time, tweaking this stuff and getting Adri as old as I could to have him ask big questions later on.):
> 
> 3 months pregnant at time of crash. 1 month before being sent into “deep cover.” 1 year undercover. 1 year and 1.5 months before meeting Shepard again. Additional 5.5 months for the mission (I am including all of the loyalty missions, the unnecessary side missions, and DLC squadmates). Additional 1 month for LotSB and Arrival. 1 month to do the trial and put Shepard under house arrest. 6 months under house arrest.
> 
> I didn’t want another Horizon argument or waste the first half of this on “I don’t trust you” so I just have Ashley doing some research with help from the Normandy crew who help her realize that this is in fact Shepard. So by the time he boards the SR-2 again, she does trust him enough to tell him about his son. She no longer thinks that her son’s safety could be jeopardized by Shepard knowing.  
> I wanted the personal dynamic to change when Andy learned he was a dad. So I had him calling Ash by her formal name before and her nickname after. Also I wanted to have Ash reveal Shepard’s name. And Adri looks a lot like his mom. This helps him hide the identity of his dad, but as time goes on, we will see that father and son are indeed related. I’m not a mom so I had to do a lot of research and a lot of interrogating my own mom on what normal behavior is for a 2-3 year old. And Adri’s full name is Adrien Kaidan Williams. Adrien I thought would be a clever variation of Andy, with Ash giving Kaidan as the middle name to honor her good friend. As you can tell, Ash has told Adri stories about her family, her time on the SR-1, military life, and all that good stuff. I really think that Ash would feel a need to honor Kaidan for Virmire and would want her son to know about it.  
> I think I’m rattling on again. I’ll shut up now.


End file.
